Life so far
I always want more than I can have. In everything I have ever done I have always tried to take more than I should, more than I can handle, more than I need. Then I hold on to what I have grabbed, even when it thrashes and fights me, when I know that its time to let it go, when what I am holding onto has left and I know is out of my reach, I still hold onto it at my core. And I don't know why.
I have this horrible sinking feeling that I have wasted my entire first semester of college. I want to change majors. Being a band director has never given me the excitement, that anything about theater has. Never before in life have I felt more certain of what I want, and more uncertain of why I’m not pursuing it. I’m not sure what is holding me back.
I miss the companionship of a real relationship. Something I haven't had in a long time. I’m not sure what I want. But its something that I do want, I think.
So on a less introspective note, tomorrow is the Disney face audition, I’m going to go, again and be told that I am not pretty enough, again. Oh well that’s show business.
So this entry is a jumbled mess, but so is my mind at the moment, people and places, memories and thoughts race through my head and it is hard to get it all straightened out.
Vienna came on in the break room today while I was leaving, That song brought back a feeling, and a new understanding of the lyrics. Anyone about to head of on their own, listen to the song, it will help, with everything.
I think I have abused the comma way too much in this entry.
Well what is life worth if you don’t find something worth being happy over.
I have this horrible sinking feeling that I have wasted my entire first semester of college. I want to change majors. Being a band director has never given me the excitement, that anything about theater has. Never before in life have I felt more certain of what I want, and more uncertain of why I’m not pursuing it. I’m not sure what is holding me back.
I miss the companionship of a real relationship. Something I haven't had in a long time. I’m not sure what I want. But its something that I do want, I think.
So on a less introspective note, tomorrow is the Disney face audition, I’m going to go, again and be told that I am not pretty enough, again. Oh well that’s show business.
So this entry is a jumbled mess, but so is my mind at the moment, people and places, memories and thoughts race through my head and it is hard to get it all straightened out.
Vienna came on in the break room today while I was leaving, That song brought back a feeling, and a new understanding of the lyrics. Anyone about to head of on their own, listen to the song, it will help, with everything.
I think I have abused the comma way too much in this entry.
Well what is life worth if you don’t find something worth being happy over.