Dec 03, 2014 17:07
(Reposting from my own journal to see if anybody's out here)
Overdosing on cheesy Christmas movies of the 1980's and 90's today, a pattern is emerging. It seems that Santa keeps a special sack of gifts readily available for Tweenage (9 to 13) children that are on the verge of losing their faith in Santa. He'll start out with all the generics - Dolls, Catcher's Mitts, Toy Trains... and when the kid gets all "THAT'S not what I wanted! You're not real at all! I hate you! I hate you ALL!!!" But of course by the END of the movie, Santa has given the kid what they REALLY wanted all along - usually something sappy like undivided parental attention or a new home.
...But those are just the GLAMOROUS stories that get made in to movies. And so Crystal and I were discussing, what else is in Santa's Disenfranchised Tween Sack? Those gifts that PROVE beyond a shadow of doubt that Santa truly exists?
For our 80's films it's been pretty easy to fill the sack;
Hair Gel
Boom Boxes
Blank 90-Minute Cassette Tapes
Jelly Bracelets
Acid-Wash Jean Jackets With A Band Logo On The Back
Giant Hoop Earrings
A Cellular Phone The Size Of Your Forearm
But what about the kids of today? What does Santa have to carry around for when he meets up with that kid on the cusp of being "Too Old"?
We figure it's full of iTunes Gift Cards, Elf Cosmetics and Axe Body Spray. But what else???
Also, what did Santa have in his Disenfranchised Tween Sack for you? For me, he brought a Sears Stereo "Ghettoblaster" Boom Box and a book-and-cassette-tape version of Michael Jackson narrating the story of "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial" for 10-year-old me :)