Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly...
All your life
you were only waiting for this moment to arrive.
It's amazing how when life is kicking your ass, you must stare it in the face and prove yourself. The people who become a success are the people who kick life in the gonads. These past few weeks, I have been beaten, I have been ridiculed, I have been insulted, I have been demeaned. However, I will never give up. I'm coming back stronger than ever. Fuck the naysayers. On the day I stand triumphiant, I will still remain compassionate. Hate me if you want, but I will always love you.
I still can't get over the fact that I missed out on my goodbye cake. I'm going to miss my kids, even though they hate me at times. They love me the rest of the time.
So, student-teaching didn't go so well this semester. Well, it went great...but all the paperwork caught up with me and I didn't "do well." Everyone at the school thought I was awesome...I just didn't write down everything I planned on doing. Why can't I freestyle? I've always done things my own way, why should I change? The children learned, they had fun, and I grew up a lot in the process. I thought that was the entire goal of my student-teaching. Whatever.
I guess it's all for the better. I'm going to take a few summer courses, repeat my student-teaching in the fall, and then complete my English major in the spring. That will enable me to either go into teaching, continue my education with grad school for creative writing, or put me out in the world with whatever I can do. I kinda like the idea of traveling and writing. Perhaps join the Peace Corps. I want to travel overseas. Hop on a plane, a boat, or maybe swim. Fuck my captors, I'd rather face the sharks.
I watched a few kids' baseball games at the park the other day. It was so awesome. I want to coach a baseball team or soccer team. Actually, I don't want to coach, I want to play. I think I'm going to get a baseball glove. I want to play softball or something. I could do both I suppose. I used to play baseball. I was really good at it until I got hit in the eye. After that, I was always afraid of it. It's amazing how things like that will mess you up when you are little. A dog tried to attack me when I was little...that's why I'm not really into dogs all that much.
I've really been enjoying being able to spend time with Cantante. I've been sick the past few days, so I've just been chillin' on the couch and playing video games. I think he's enjoyed it too. The past few months, I've been extremely busy and stressed, so I haven't been paying much attention to him. I don't think I've been paying much attention to myself either. I feel dirty. I've been too busy to clean my house and car. I haven't had time to take care of myself. I mean, my house isn't that dirty, but it's too dirty for me. Being sick hasn't helped much either. I just wish I could go away for a while and have some time for myself. Sleep to my heart's content, and then spend the rest of my time relaxing. That would be most excellent.
Damn, it feels good to sit and write again. I don't want to stop, but I must. My eyes and head are starting to hurt, and I'm getting tired. Time to listen to music and chill.
Much love!
All your life
you were only waiting for this moment to arrive.
It's amazing how when life is kicking your ass, you must stare it in the face and prove yourself. The people who become a success are the people who kick life in the gonads. These past few weeks, I have been beaten, I have been ridiculed, I have been insulted, I have been demeaned. However, I will never give up. I'm coming back stronger than ever. Fuck the naysayers. On the day I stand triumphiant, I will still remain compassionate. Hate me if you want, but I will always love you.
I still can't get over the fact that I missed out on my goodbye cake. I'm going to miss my kids, even though they hate me at times. They love me the rest of the time.
So, student-teaching didn't go so well this semester. Well, it went great...but all the paperwork caught up with me and I didn't "do well." Everyone at the school thought I was awesome...I just didn't write down everything I planned on doing. Why can't I freestyle? I've always done things my own way, why should I change? The children learned, they had fun, and I grew up a lot in the process. I thought that was the entire goal of my student-teaching. Whatever.
I guess it's all for the better. I'm going to take a few summer courses, repeat my student-teaching in the fall, and then complete my English major in the spring. That will enable me to either go into teaching, continue my education with grad school for creative writing, or put me out in the world with whatever I can do. I kinda like the idea of traveling and writing. Perhaps join the Peace Corps. I want to travel overseas. Hop on a plane, a boat, or maybe swim. Fuck my captors, I'd rather face the sharks.
I watched a few kids' baseball games at the park the other day. It was so awesome. I want to coach a baseball team or soccer team. Actually, I don't want to coach, I want to play. I think I'm going to get a baseball glove. I want to play softball or something. I could do both I suppose. I used to play baseball. I was really good at it until I got hit in the eye. After that, I was always afraid of it. It's amazing how things like that will mess you up when you are little. A dog tried to attack me when I was little...that's why I'm not really into dogs all that much.
I've really been enjoying being able to spend time with Cantante. I've been sick the past few days, so I've just been chillin' on the couch and playing video games. I think he's enjoyed it too. The past few months, I've been extremely busy and stressed, so I haven't been paying much attention to him. I don't think I've been paying much attention to myself either. I feel dirty. I've been too busy to clean my house and car. I haven't had time to take care of myself. I mean, my house isn't that dirty, but it's too dirty for me. Being sick hasn't helped much either. I just wish I could go away for a while and have some time for myself. Sleep to my heart's content, and then spend the rest of my time relaxing. That would be most excellent.
Damn, it feels good to sit and write again. I don't want to stop, but I must. My eyes and head are starting to hurt, and I'm getting tired. Time to listen to music and chill.
Much love!