Three things I need to change.
I just realized that I only ever want to write when i'm in some kind of emotional frenzy - either super happy, or super sad. Mostly, the sad ones don't make it into the semi public eye of livejournal, because I don't share that stuff with anyone. Weird. Me and my emotional musings - probably why I kept such a rigorous journal through puberty and now write a maximum of once every two months.
I think I need to make some semi-serious decisions:
The first is to make a concentrated effort to loose the weight which has been consistently creeping up on me for the past several years. I'm overweight to the point of being borderline obese, and that makes me very uncomfortable. I figure I have to lose at least 30 pounds before I can be at a weight that can be considered healthy, and another ten or so would see me to looking pretty darn good.
The second is to stop nitpicking at the poor boy. Sometimes it's like a scab which I can't seem to let heal, and I need to stop poking at issue I know have not real point of resolution. I know that if I poke hard enough, eventually I'll pull of the scab and the issue will run free again, and I think that I need to stop it - It's not helping anything, and it's not a fair thing to consistently be doing to my life partner. I need to learn to let things go for long enough that they can actually heal.
The third is to stop trying to be the go between to solve the issues between the various member of my family. On a whole, there is a lot of mutual respect within my family, and the issues are either resolved or put aside as seen fit by those involved. But, there are a couple of things that keep flaring up, or being dredged up during conversations, and somehow it's always me who ends up trying to make peace. Apparently I come by the role of scab-picker honestly, it's pretty much universal in my family. I do not, however, come by the role of peacemaker honestly, and I don't like being always in the middle of whatever conflict is going on. I need to learn when to bow out.
Those are the main things. The rest of my life I seem to manage pretty well, but those are the biggest sources of stress and upset, so if I can somehow learn to work through them... It would be just great.
I'm looking forwards to the easter weekend. It should be good, since Mum's away, all of the family who is presently in this part of the world are coming over to our house for brunch and an easter egg hunt for my niece, for which I am super excited to play the easter bunny.
I think I need to make some semi-serious decisions:
The first is to make a concentrated effort to loose the weight which has been consistently creeping up on me for the past several years. I'm overweight to the point of being borderline obese, and that makes me very uncomfortable. I figure I have to lose at least 30 pounds before I can be at a weight that can be considered healthy, and another ten or so would see me to looking pretty darn good.
The second is to stop nitpicking at the poor boy. Sometimes it's like a scab which I can't seem to let heal, and I need to stop poking at issue I know have not real point of resolution. I know that if I poke hard enough, eventually I'll pull of the scab and the issue will run free again, and I think that I need to stop it - It's not helping anything, and it's not a fair thing to consistently be doing to my life partner. I need to learn to let things go for long enough that they can actually heal.
The third is to stop trying to be the go between to solve the issues between the various member of my family. On a whole, there is a lot of mutual respect within my family, and the issues are either resolved or put aside as seen fit by those involved. But, there are a couple of things that keep flaring up, or being dredged up during conversations, and somehow it's always me who ends up trying to make peace. Apparently I come by the role of scab-picker honestly, it's pretty much universal in my family. I do not, however, come by the role of peacemaker honestly, and I don't like being always in the middle of whatever conflict is going on. I need to learn when to bow out.
Those are the main things. The rest of my life I seem to manage pretty well, but those are the biggest sources of stress and upset, so if I can somehow learn to work through them... It would be just great.
I'm looking forwards to the easter weekend. It should be good, since Mum's away, all of the family who is presently in this part of the world are coming over to our house for brunch and an easter egg hunt for my niece, for which I am super excited to play the easter bunny.