So..
I don't really know what to do about this whole situation. I mean like.. Yeah, I'm ok I guess and I'm working through this, but like.. I don't know. It's all so confusing... I went to Amanda's house yesterday for what was going to be the last time, and I just couldn't do it. Like. I couldn't let it be the last time I saw her. I couldn't.. And like.. The part that confused me the most was that when I was there with her, she ended up kissing me... A lot of times... And like... I don't know... She cried a lot toward the end of the night... And then like.. I told her she should be happy because she's finally getting the girl she wanted back... And she was like "Yeah, but I'm not happy." and then she was like "I want something that means a lot to me.." and I was like "What do you mean?" and she was like "I'm talking about you..." but yet she's choosing Nik.. Like.. I don't understand it... She cuddled with me and everything half the day.. Flirted.. Stayed close to me... And hell she even said she was second guessing her choice already, and she isn't sure if it's because Nik isn't what she wants, or if it's because she's upset about losing me in the process... So.. I told her she needs to figure it out and everything... But like.. Ugh it's all so confusing.. I don't know.. Hopefully things turn out alright... And aside from all this, I think I like a boy.. Like.. A transgender boy, but still.. Yeah... I don't know.. It's weird... But yeah. Ugh.. This is all so confusing.. I don't know.. I just hope I can be happy in the end..
-Christina
-Christina