(no subject)

Aug 12, 2009 01:34

Every nite before sleeping, i know im 1 day away from leaving..
when i think about it, i cant wait to go..
but of course its also so very scary
i dun know anyone there at all..
i dun speak their language or understand it..
and ill be alone..
and i dun like being alone..
its scary..
i dun even have lunch alone..
and then im scared of the dark..
and i hafta sleep alone without a night light..
and i dun have enough clothes..
and i dun know how to wash clothes..
i wana stay home and be a baby..

Of course ill miss everyone..
but the saddest thing is that, by the time im back
Sinthu will be back in the US for a year...
and ill miss Sinthu..haiz..
its so nice having her back..
everything felt normal agn..
the way it was all along...
once she's back in US
everytime we go out, we'll know there's one of us missing..

and thats why i really dun wana leave..
i think that mayb ill just let go of my tickets..
cos i know if i cry and say i dun wana go..
no one will force me..
im scared of loneliness..

however, ive always been wanting to go..
and its a good chance to grow in many ways;
spiritually, mentally and to be independent..
when will i get the chance to ever do this agn??
and besides ive been praying about it
and if this is the way God leads..
then ill just go..
and in 1 week, im sure ill be fitted in and it'll feel like home..
this is faith i guess
ill put everything in Gods hands
all i need to do in step into the plane..
and God will take care of the rest..
even though i stil dun have enough clothes..

Ive got so many things to do in 8 days,
i stil have to work til next tues
i need to spend time w everyone esp sinthu
i need to get stuff
buy my medicine
get travel insurance
buy new jeans..

and ill be praying for a miracle the whole time im there..
the one thing ill give up anything(even my life) to happen...

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.
Complicated circumstances
have clouded his view.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

I fear that I won’t have the words
that he needs to hear.
I pray for Your wisdom , oh God.
And a heart that's sincere.
And Lord I lift my friend up
to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
My best friend in the
world, I know he means much
more to You.
I want so much to help him, but
this is something he has to do.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

There's a way that seems so right to him.
But You know where that leads.
He's becoming a puppet of the world.
Too blind to see the strings.
And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.
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