So sometimes...
So sometimes i wonder why i bother. i mean it seems that nothing i do is worthy...i mean i know it is in my head but it is like my heart doesn't want to listen...
I want to be all about God all the time but I find that when i am with others that need to be told to listen to God I can tell them and things usually get better for them...but then why cant i do it for myself...i know that it is God and not me but why does it seem that i can everyone but me? I just wish that things could be like they use to be...before i got distracted by my own selfish ambitions...WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SOOOO STUBBORN? i need to spend time with Jesus...more than just spend time with Him but listen to Him...not do all the talking for once...just be still.
i sometimes wish that when God does things that it would be really apparent that it was Him, you know...like in the movies when you see everyone instantly having a revelation from God and they are overcome...they are in the Presence of God...they are with Him and are consumed by Him...I want that...to really feel God...to be warmed by His spirit and overcome with His joy.
Some days are good, some days are bad...i just want to not worry about anything...i want to let God have it all but i dont know how to give it all up...especially when i have messed everything up so bad...i dont want to give God a life that i have waisted...but i guess the only way it can be fixed is to give back to the one who created it...The Creator is the only one who can fix His creation. He is the only one who knows what is truly broken and He is the only one who has the way to mend the broken. all we have to do is surrender.
I just need to go and be still in the presence of God.
I know this probly makes no sense to anyone but God knows my heart and i know that if He has a purpose for this then He is big enough to accomplish it...He doesn't need me...He just wants me to be willing. So here i am Lord, i surrender.
I want to be all about God all the time but I find that when i am with others that need to be told to listen to God I can tell them and things usually get better for them...but then why cant i do it for myself...i know that it is God and not me but why does it seem that i can everyone but me? I just wish that things could be like they use to be...before i got distracted by my own selfish ambitions...WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SOOOO STUBBORN? i need to spend time with Jesus...more than just spend time with Him but listen to Him...not do all the talking for once...just be still.
i sometimes wish that when God does things that it would be really apparent that it was Him, you know...like in the movies when you see everyone instantly having a revelation from God and they are overcome...they are in the Presence of God...they are with Him and are consumed by Him...I want that...to really feel God...to be warmed by His spirit and overcome with His joy.
Some days are good, some days are bad...i just want to not worry about anything...i want to let God have it all but i dont know how to give it all up...especially when i have messed everything up so bad...i dont want to give God a life that i have waisted...but i guess the only way it can be fixed is to give back to the one who created it...The Creator is the only one who can fix His creation. He is the only one who knows what is truly broken and He is the only one who has the way to mend the broken. all we have to do is surrender.
I just need to go and be still in the presence of God.
I know this probly makes no sense to anyone but God knows my heart and i know that if He has a purpose for this then He is big enough to accomplish it...He doesn't need me...He just wants me to be willing. So here i am Lord, i surrender.