my fairy tale:revised
once upon a time, in the land of right up the street, there lived a girl. we'll call her princess very crippled. even though princess very crippled was a girl, she often found that old people often got confused and thought she was a boy. that was okay, it never bothered her.
however, princess very crippled lived with the evil witch of the land of up the street, grandmother-bitches-a-lot. princess very crippled knew that grandmother-bitches-a-lot hated the fact princess very crippled liked pretty girls. a lot. grandmother-bitches-a-lot was terribly afraid that people would see princess very crippled and assume she was gay. this also didn't bother princess very crippled, as she was gay. she was very gay. however, grandmother-bitches-a-lot's problem with princess very crippled's gayness is another story for another day.
then one day long ago, in gay time, princess very crippled met the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. her name was princess never silly and she was from the land of just a few towns over. they spent a lot of time together, talking about anything and everything. it didn't matter what they were doing, they just liked spending time together. over the next several months, they were incredibly happy. they frolicked through meadows with prairie weasels and kitties and kissed each other goodbye outside of princess very cripple's castle. oh, grandmother-bitches-a-lot did not appreciate that. not that princess very crippled cared.
so it went on like that for a while, both princesses were both in love and they were happy. however, as everybody knows, fairy tales don't work like that. you can't just be happy forever, something's gonna happen and there's going to be some kind of obstacle that you have to face in order to prove that you are worthy of continuing on a happy path. it's true, there are stories and songs all about it. go listen to taylor swift.
unfortunately for the princesses, their obstacle would not be an easy one to overcome. see, one day a vast darkness descended on princess very crippled (like she didn't already have enough problems). anyway, the darkness spread through her and she became an entirely different person. she started acting completely out of character for her. where she was usually fairly happy and joked around about everything, she was now very depressed and didn't see the point of anything.
the worst part was that she allowed the darkness to destroy her relationship with princess never silly. the princesses had always been able to talk to each other about everything, but eventually, princess very crippled stopped really talking to princess very silly. see, princess very crippled did not like anybody to see her when she so weak. she didn't want princess never silly to know how bad everything really was, so she went around pretending like nothing was wrong.
this was a stupid idea and somebody should hit princess very crippled upside the head a few times just for thinking it. they might even consider using princesses very crippled's cane. see, by that point in their relationship, princess never silly could read princess very crippled like a book and she always knew when something was wrong. princess very crippled figured that the darkness would go away eventually, she would just have to wait it out. there was a major flaw in that plan though.
she never meant to intentionally hurt princess very silly, for she loved her with all her heart. that didn't really matter though, for the darkness had gotten so bad, that princess very crippled just didn't think about the consequences of her actions anymore. at that point, there was no way to save the relationship between the princesses. princess crippled had hid things, became paranoid about everything, and for some reason expected princess never silly to fix all of princess very crippled's problems. long story short, she hurt princess never silly very badly.
princess very crippled often wishes that she could take back everything that happened, but she knows that it doesn't work that way in fairy tales... it doesn't work that way in real life either. so she'll have to prove herself some other way.
someday, maybe there will be a happy ending, where princess very crippled can come and swoop princess never silly away on her white horse... even though she's pretty much afraid of horses. i'm pretty sure she'd brave a horse for princess never silly though.
so guys, i'm sorry that i didn't tell you a fairy tale that has a happy ending. someday soon though, princess very crippled is going to figure out what she has to do in order to win back princess never silly's heart.
however, princess very crippled lived with the evil witch of the land of up the street, grandmother-bitches-a-lot. princess very crippled knew that grandmother-bitches-a-lot hated the fact princess very crippled liked pretty girls. a lot. grandmother-bitches-a-lot was terribly afraid that people would see princess very crippled and assume she was gay. this also didn't bother princess very crippled, as she was gay. she was very gay. however, grandmother-bitches-a-lot's problem with princess very crippled's gayness is another story for another day.
then one day long ago, in gay time, princess very crippled met the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. her name was princess never silly and she was from the land of just a few towns over. they spent a lot of time together, talking about anything and everything. it didn't matter what they were doing, they just liked spending time together. over the next several months, they were incredibly happy. they frolicked through meadows with prairie weasels and kitties and kissed each other goodbye outside of princess very cripple's castle. oh, grandmother-bitches-a-lot did not appreciate that. not that princess very crippled cared.
so it went on like that for a while, both princesses were both in love and they were happy. however, as everybody knows, fairy tales don't work like that. you can't just be happy forever, something's gonna happen and there's going to be some kind of obstacle that you have to face in order to prove that you are worthy of continuing on a happy path. it's true, there are stories and songs all about it. go listen to taylor swift.
unfortunately for the princesses, their obstacle would not be an easy one to overcome. see, one day a vast darkness descended on princess very crippled (like she didn't already have enough problems). anyway, the darkness spread through her and she became an entirely different person. she started acting completely out of character for her. where she was usually fairly happy and joked around about everything, she was now very depressed and didn't see the point of anything.
the worst part was that she allowed the darkness to destroy her relationship with princess never silly. the princesses had always been able to talk to each other about everything, but eventually, princess very crippled stopped really talking to princess very silly. see, princess very crippled did not like anybody to see her when she so weak. she didn't want princess never silly to know how bad everything really was, so she went around pretending like nothing was wrong.
this was a stupid idea and somebody should hit princess very crippled upside the head a few times just for thinking it. they might even consider using princesses very crippled's cane. see, by that point in their relationship, princess never silly could read princess very crippled like a book and she always knew when something was wrong. princess very crippled figured that the darkness would go away eventually, she would just have to wait it out. there was a major flaw in that plan though.
she never meant to intentionally hurt princess very silly, for she loved her with all her heart. that didn't really matter though, for the darkness had gotten so bad, that princess very crippled just didn't think about the consequences of her actions anymore. at that point, there was no way to save the relationship between the princesses. princess crippled had hid things, became paranoid about everything, and for some reason expected princess never silly to fix all of princess very crippled's problems. long story short, she hurt princess never silly very badly.
princess very crippled often wishes that she could take back everything that happened, but she knows that it doesn't work that way in fairy tales... it doesn't work that way in real life either. so she'll have to prove herself some other way.
someday, maybe there will be a happy ending, where princess very crippled can come and swoop princess never silly away on her white horse... even though she's pretty much afraid of horses. i'm pretty sure she'd brave a horse for princess never silly though.
so guys, i'm sorry that i didn't tell you a fairy tale that has a happy ending. someday soon though, princess very crippled is going to figure out what she has to do in order to win back princess never silly's heart.