Jan 01, 2006 02:57
sorry i dont know how to do a LJ cut.. its pretty long.. this is my testimony from Vision Conference 2006.
this is the time.. where we look back at the past year... and ask ourselves.. did we live this year.. the way God wanted us to live? and unfortunately.. our answer always falls short to His glory.. no we didn't. we did not live the way God wanted us to live...
i just came back from Vision Conference 2006 and got a FAT spanking by God. God gave me his HOLY SMACKDOWN on me.. and i definitely needed a spankin.. and i thank Him for it. It's only been one year since my first Vision Conference 2005.. where God spoke to me through the book of Joshua.. that fear shall be broken down, that there is no reason to fear anything because God will never ever abandon me. fear stopped me from witnessing, stopped me from doing anything for God. and he broke it down then.. however.. that realization lasted 1 month..
i fell hard.. so hard i couldn't get back up.. no one to seek for help.. not even God... i just said F' it.. my plans to be a soonjang in KCCC failed, i gave up, quiet times? gave up.. studys? who cared.. i didnt.. missions? definitely no.. i became addicted to my old habbits that i thought were gone. seeked for quick fixes in life offered by this world and this generation. i wasted my life away giving up myself to satan and this lifeless society.
oh boy how i regret so many things.. oh boy how God made me realized, convicted my heart, opened up my eyes that i needed to repent.. needed to seek God's help.. no one to blame but me. so i did.. God made me realize how i wasted a year.. of course i learned a lot now that i see the big picture, but those things.. i could've learned it an easier way.. this Vision Conference, God said He will help me to break my addictions to the worldy things.. He said i failed so many times because i didn't seek Him through those hard times.. He said i seeked other substitutions.. He said i never greived with Him.. that i didn't share my hard times with Him.. which is all true.. now that i think about it.. i tried to break off my addictions with substituting it with other things.. i never went to God.. i tried to do it with my own strength.. failed everytime.
now i know.. a little late but now i know.. i know to seek Him everyday, everysecond of my life. i know to read the Word.. to find my strength through Him who gives me strength. i know that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE with God. putting God before EVERYTHING is a hard task.. especially putting Him before family and friends.. and even school.. however.. seek His kingdom and all these things will be given unto you. i hold dear to that and with God, like Luke 1;37-38, nothing IS impossible.. putting my life into His hands.. i'm never insecure.. where ever He takes me.. whatever surroundings He puts me in.. I know for a FACT that eventhough i think its impossible... if its God, nothing is. addictions? piece of cake. breakin it is nothing. i prayed to God to help me to be addicted to Him, to crave every second for Him, oh how wonderful is that.. to be addicted to Him.. instead of the worldy things that society offers.. this generation needs to repent. our society is brought lower and lower falling deeper into sin.. God would you take this generation and mold it to the generation you want us to be..
to all that just came from a retreat... to all who renewed their relationship with Christ... it's not going to get easier.. i realized that the battle starts now.. Pastor Francis Chan said that when we play basketball, we dont guard who does not move and shoot.. but we tend to double team who makes the shots.. that's how our spiritual life is.. the ones who just stand there with their faith, or even without it, satan leaves them alone.. for they are nothing.. but the ones who are active in faith, who worship, who pray, who loves God, who witnesses.. satan double, triple, even quadruple teams them..
the battle starts now. its not going to get easier.. but now the declaration of war is made. satan is gonna attack even more.. to my brothers within my Soon group.. to my brothers and sisters in Christ.. lets stand strong! lets face Satan! lets be strong in our faith and yell out BRING IT ON! cause we have our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in us.. and the Holy Spirit to direct and guide us in this WAR that we live in.. so bring it on! for nothing in this world is impossible with God.