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May 19, 2004 07:22




John Bender I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.

-From The Breakfast Club (1985)

Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you'd do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. And invariably what you'd say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.
Samir: So what did you say?
Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.
Michael Bolton: No, You work at Intech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.

-From Office Space (1999)

Sean: I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole fuckin' world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people's formulas that only one or two people in the world could do and then lie about it? 'Cause I don't see a lot of honor in that, Will.

-From Good Will Hunting (1997)

Thurgood Jenkins: So, now we all live together in New York. I myself, am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it.

-From Half Baked (1998)

Each morning I come into work, the first person that I see is Verda, the custodial artist for my building. She is an alum of the school, and has been there for a pretty long time. She comes in to empty my wastebasket and pushes a dust mop around my floors, and we have conversations in which very little information is exchanged, because I only understand about half of what she says (Imagine Charlie Brown's parents). We usually talk about bullshit topics, such as weather, and what we are going to do over the holidays. On Fridays, she asks me if we have a meeting, and the answer is usually yes. She's a very nice lady, but I couldn't tell you anything else about her.

She isn't very good at her job, and my floors never get cleaned. I think that she has mopped twice this semester. I know that she sometimes gets in trouble for giving herself a raise by doing less work (i.e. hiding in a closet or storeroom instead of working). But even though I should probably bring this up to the brass, I don't. I don't do this, because I don't feel like ratting her out. Truth be told, I typically do just enough to look busy in case an administrator walks by, and I am only motivated to work hard enough to stay off the radar. She and I are very different in and of the lives that we have happened into, albeit in the same place, but we are also very similar when it comes to work ethic.

There is a custodian named Lawrence who normally works in the main building, and he is a real hoot. I have never seen him with a frown on his face, and I always stop in the hallway to bullshit with him when I walk by. He is a great listener, responding to my conversations with a bunch of "I know that's rights," and he has a belly laugh that is quite distinctive, and we hear it often. We used to park in the same parking lot, and we would bitch to each other if someone was in our spaces, and the joke between us was that the small parking lot near the loading dock was our parking lot. I don't park there anymore, because I got tired of climbing stairs, but I remember many conversations with him there in that parking lot.

My first year on the job, he started calling me Mr. Wilks. I hate hearing this from other adults, but I don't protest in a lot of cases. So after a week, he asked my first name, and said that he could tell that the last name thing was a problem. I breathed a sigh of relief, and we have been on a first name basis ever since.

I don't know why I chose to write about janitors...it just felt right for some reason

***
My after-school video production class may turn out to be something less of a clusterfuck than I had originally thought. We did our first tech rehearsal today (which was supposed to be last Thursday, but instead turned into me tearning them a new asshole for wasting time), and it wasn't a total train wreck. The kids chose to do the Self-Defense Against fresh fruit bit from Monty Python's Flying Circus, and zora1230, who is not only blind, but unable to see pictures, is playing the sergeant. Since he has never observed other people jumping around, he does it quite differently, and it is amusing to watch.

I remember one time in class when he was trying to rabbit punch one of his classmates, and instead of telling him to knock it off, I egged it on, because it was so damn funny.

Note: Before you write me off as an insensitive prick, this is a joke that we share. PC behavior toward blind people got tossed out the window for me a long time ago, and my kids have a great sense of humor about it.

***
I voted today in the primary yesterday, and this is my first time voting in one. I was not aware that you had to announce a party affiliation, and I said something I never thought that I would hear coming from my mouth: Democrat. For the record, I vote candidates, and feel that both parties are full of shit. But, like the website that recycling showed me, John Kerry is a Douchebag, but I'm voting for him anyway.

For the local candidates, I didn't have a clue who to vote for, and I think that I primarily went with the people with the coolest names. And on that box for the unopposed candidates, I decided fuck 'em. Let them vote for themselves.

La Rouche and Kucinich were still on the ballot, as well as one other candidate that I didn't recognize.

Not sure what's going to happen in November, but I have a feeling that the Skull and Bones guy from Yale has a good shot....

***
Anyway, I'm wearing my swimsuit to work today, and couldn't be happier about it. I really dig my job on Wild River Country Day.....

wild river country, a school with vision

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