The heart of the matter - was I ever really ' saved'?
"What is it all about with you and your posts?"
A mod has asked me. I was intending to write, posing this question once people were up to speed - but the answer is demanded now - so I put this to you:-
You know how there is this big debate in Christian circles over Armineus and Calvin? Well, here is a radical thought that struck me -
What if, in spite of being born in a Christian country; in spite of having a mother who took me to church; in spite of making a decision to get myself baptised - what if I was never destined for salvation anyway?
I am not saying I am certain of this - just open to the possibility that an Anglican minister may have baptised me by mistake when God had originally intended me to be one of the damned. See, the Bible tells us that it isn't that we choose God, but that God chooses us. So, maybe, in my case - He didn't.
Ok, I have always felt myself to be a misfit. My dad wanted a girl, but I was not. Although I was dragged off to boarding school by the state, I was not from a proper middle class family. nor do I find myself totallly absorbed in the working class culture I live in.i just don't feel I fit in or really belong anywhare. so my current state of mind could be a reflection of that.
The people at my local URC are very good to me- indeed, the same can be said of this community in the overwhelming majority of cases. But in many respects, I am out of step with most members of this place, and that does concern me. The URC - it's a place that ordains women, has non alcoholic grape juice at communion, and it welcomes gays and even Theistic Evolutionists such as I am. Is it really a Christian church, some may ask -and do so in all sincerity, without any malice. Which leads me to wonder if I am really a 'proper' saved Christian myself.
Like, some people here have incredible faith - but I don't. And faith is something that is given by God, not something you can go out and get like you can a get a new Bible. Oh, I believe that Jesus existed, and that He was God Incarnate, even. But the Devil believes that too, so that solves nothing.
It may be that when this life is over, that the clouds and mists of confusion clear, and the URC turns out to be a small remote promontory sticking out from the mainland of the Christian faith and the shoreline of salvation, but still a genuine part of Christ's domain - even if it's only reachable by wading at low tide. Yet it could also be that Christianity is really 'over there' and that we in that URC are not adjoined to it or any part of the Kingdom of God in any way.
So, what is the Litmus test for being 'a saved Christian', please?
This question is open to both Arminians and Calvinists - I just hope I got the spelling of both camps right. if anyone wants further clarification on where I am right now and how I got there, i will try to answer. Thank you.
A mod has asked me. I was intending to write, posing this question once people were up to speed - but the answer is demanded now - so I put this to you:-
You know how there is this big debate in Christian circles over Armineus and Calvin? Well, here is a radical thought that struck me -
What if, in spite of being born in a Christian country; in spite of having a mother who took me to church; in spite of making a decision to get myself baptised - what if I was never destined for salvation anyway?
I am not saying I am certain of this - just open to the possibility that an Anglican minister may have baptised me by mistake when God had originally intended me to be one of the damned. See, the Bible tells us that it isn't that we choose God, but that God chooses us. So, maybe, in my case - He didn't.
Ok, I have always felt myself to be a misfit. My dad wanted a girl, but I was not. Although I was dragged off to boarding school by the state, I was not from a proper middle class family. nor do I find myself totallly absorbed in the working class culture I live in.i just don't feel I fit in or really belong anywhare. so my current state of mind could be a reflection of that.
The people at my local URC are very good to me- indeed, the same can be said of this community in the overwhelming majority of cases. But in many respects, I am out of step with most members of this place, and that does concern me. The URC - it's a place that ordains women, has non alcoholic grape juice at communion, and it welcomes gays and even Theistic Evolutionists such as I am. Is it really a Christian church, some may ask -and do so in all sincerity, without any malice. Which leads me to wonder if I am really a 'proper' saved Christian myself.
Like, some people here have incredible faith - but I don't. And faith is something that is given by God, not something you can go out and get like you can a get a new Bible. Oh, I believe that Jesus existed, and that He was God Incarnate, even. But the Devil believes that too, so that solves nothing.
It may be that when this life is over, that the clouds and mists of confusion clear, and the URC turns out to be a small remote promontory sticking out from the mainland of the Christian faith and the shoreline of salvation, but still a genuine part of Christ's domain - even if it's only reachable by wading at low tide. Yet it could also be that Christianity is really 'over there' and that we in that URC are not adjoined to it or any part of the Kingdom of God in any way.
So, what is the Litmus test for being 'a saved Christian', please?
This question is open to both Arminians and Calvinists - I just hope I got the spelling of both camps right. if anyone wants further clarification on where I am right now and how I got there, i will try to answer. Thank you.