(Untitled)

[ktcaop]

Yeah, this really kind of relates to my other two posts.

I guess, I'll just post it here. Though, yeah. Sorry for taking up so much energy from everyone, and just being miserable and hard. Pray that God changes me.

Comments

[rogueblack]

Take this for what it's worth from a mother.

If you're not picking up after yourself and you're doing things that cause more hassle and time for other people (you could've brought you ID whether you needed it or not - that's considered common sense), I can see where she'll lose her mind when she has a lot going on and you continue to be no help. Your entries concerning her fits were very flippant, like a "whatever" attitude. It was only until she pointed out to you that your thoughtlessness and irresponsibility is exhausting her that you seemed to take any notice.

And you're still not acting on this information. You're still making it about you. pastorlenny's right when he calls this self-pity. I don't think you need family counseling specifically, because I'm concerned this could inadvertantly turn into an arena for more self-pity.

Counseling doesn't hurt anyone... your mom could probably benefit from having an impartial professional help her organise her thoughts and you could benefit from your own, too.

You're not the worst kid, obviously. You're a dedicated Christian, you're a dedicated student, and you have loyalty towards your friends. But instead of whining, "Oh, why aren't I a better child?!" just be a better child. Because you're not the worst kid, I have faith that you can be proactive enough to make changes.

Pick up after yourself! I have a clear plastic storage box that my kids put their Xbox in after they're done playing it and it's in the linen closet. It's not a fixture of our home. It doesn't belong on the coffee table. So, put your toys away when you're done playing with them... buy headphones so the noise doesn't disturb other people in the home... and play during hours that are the least intrusive to others. Do your own laundry if you don't already, help out with the meals and the housecleaning. Ask your mother if she needs anything. You're capable of all these things right now.

I don't think she was trying to destroy you emotionally or anything that abusive people do. I don't think she's a bad person. I think she was being harsh out of frustration and just wants you to wake up. Having to go all the way home to get the ID that you could've brought the first time after having asked you repeatedly if you needed it would frustrate me, too. You're at the age where it's appropriate for you to grow into being a considerate young man... and I don't think it will be too hard.

So, my advice is to take what your mother has said as an opportunity for you to improve yourself. Don't so much dwell on what pain you've caused others with your unintentional inconsideration. Focus on what you can do to be more considerate and thoughtful of others. This would include taking care of yourself so your mother has to stop worrying about your health. ;)

[ktcaop]

replying to you via message.

[rogueblack]

Oh okay.

In reply to your apparently screened comment

[rogueblack]

I get that you say you're doing stuff and you're trying to change. But then you revert back to "if I wasn't around my mom would have peace" and that's all self-pitying "look at me" kinda stuff. You're better than that. It's a bit self-defeatist and that's what you've got to look out for.

I forget stuff constantly. I use reminders in the form of post-its and digital recorders. Since you've already identified what level you need to be at, you need to make it there using what you've got. You can work around just about anything. Saying "I'm not there yet" is self-defeatist and gets you thinking about yourself again. Focus on other people now.

You're not playing the games... why were they on the coffee table? I don't really need an answer for that. I believe you that you barely ever play them when you're so busy. I just think it would be a good idea to find a way to keep them out of sight. If, for no other reason, than to make sure that $200+ game systems don't get broken! ;)

The thing that sticks with me is that you're a young man with a lot going for you and your mother really needs you right now. It's like you're almost to the top of the mountain and I think you can pull yourself up the rest of the way. Just don't look down.

Re: In reply to your apparently screened comment

[ktcaop]

again, replied to your post in a message.

Re: In reply to your apparently screened comment

[rogueblack]

I babbled on the thread before realising you moved it to messages. Sorry.

=)

[ktcaop]

no problem =)