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[ktcaop]

Yeah, this really kind of relates to my other two posts.

I guess, I'll just post it here. Though, yeah. Sorry for taking up so much energy from everyone, and just being miserable and hard. Pray that God changes me.

Comments

[ktcaop]

My mother indeed is struggling with the bodily situation as you described, she is also working a lot, getting married come the 28th of this month, going through seminary and thus has her own finals, yet she still cleans up around the house

[ktcaop]

If I wasn't around, if I could disappear, if things were right from the beginning and I was never born, if I was never around, then would my mother have any of this stress? Of course the answer is no, she can't have this stress because if I was never born, she couldn't have the stress that she is having surrounding me. She told me at that time as well that there was joy to be had in me as well. I guess that joy has run out as I've been nothing but pain to her, nothing but just a pain ever since I actually lived with her

[ktcaop]

P.S. I have no idea how to edit comments. CCC - Commands, complaints, and Criticisms.

[ktcaop]

P.P.S. My mother does a lot for me, she's been extremely patient with me, she works hard for me, cooks for me cleans for me. I should be doing all of those things anyway, I should be that good son, after all, I'm the "Christian" one, I should be more loving towards my mother, I help other people, yet I don't help my mother, isn't that twisted? I can help set up and clean up a church, something that can take an hour to do, yet I can't bother to clean my room. Finals isn't an excuse, my mother had finals and is working and everything else and she was able to clean. Though either way it doesn't matter. She hired a cleaning service because I can't clean well enough anyway. One day I'm sure it'll finally click in my head and I'll get it right. It doesn't matter how far I've come, I'm not there yet. As someone once told me yesterday as it pertains to pool, all that matters is the end result.

[alainn_mactire]

I agree completely :o)

[pastorlenny]

She told me that perhaps I need to ask God to show me how much pain I've caused to all those who try to care about me. OK, I can't take it anymore. I know what it's like to be a parent and be frustrated by the behavior of your child. But this kind of statement is uncalled for. You're a sloppy, immature young man who is probably acting out because of a lack of fathering or because you're reacting against performance pressures or whatever. So what? You're going to school and you're not getting high. If I were her I'd count my blessings

[pastorlenny]

Good job, pastor! :)

[pastorlenny]

Yeah. I was just repeating what my own son said to me one day when I was giving him a hard time one day. Well, his statement was a bit stronger -- but that was the gist. God bless him for loving his almost-impossible-to-live-with Dad enough to tell him the truth.