(no subject)
i feel the superboredom, hype, and mediocrity of post-modern life more than i thought would happen here. consciousness of the violence of my soul being leeched away is enhanced tenfold by not having any distractions, like a job. all of my efforts are for increasing our comfort, not for creating and sustaining beneficial projects, nor for connecting ties to the community. i haven't heard my calling yet.
seattle is a wasteland. this quicksand isn't quick at all, thereby disguising its presence. i can see the spectacle in all of my relations and actions. i feel like a brain in a jar. i feel like screaming, but i know i can't scream as loud as i need to, to pierce the overwhelming amount of noise and thought pollution. somewhere inside me, i know if i just went shopping that i would feel a little better. i probably just need some exercise and some inner silence. i need a mission. i need i need i need i need to find a way to kill that sense of need. i need to enter the realm of wildness and set up permanent residence. i'm trying to find a balance between balanced and imbalanced.
i just want to feel strong.
seattle is a wasteland. this quicksand isn't quick at all, thereby disguising its presence. i can see the spectacle in all of my relations and actions. i feel like a brain in a jar. i feel like screaming, but i know i can't scream as loud as i need to, to pierce the overwhelming amount of noise and thought pollution. somewhere inside me, i know if i just went shopping that i would feel a little better. i probably just need some exercise and some inner silence. i need a mission. i need i need i need i need to find a way to kill that sense of need. i need to enter the realm of wildness and set up permanent residence. i'm trying to find a balance between balanced and imbalanced.
i just want to feel strong.