Why am I still alive?
Honestly, if it wasn't for music, I would see no point in life any more. I am so disgusted with school and I have a deep, sincere hate for most everyone there.
Everyone hates school, but for other reasons than my own. I hate school because of how unchallenging it is and because of how much it takes away from my learning. Yes, it's true, school takes away SO MUCH from my learning. The days when I stay home from school, I learn so much more than I would have if I was at school. I waste hours upon hours of time at school, a place where we're graded on how well we work, how much effort we put into something, and how effeciently we use our time. Many times, I'm RESTRAINED from using my time wisely. Why's that?
The only things I learn at school are how to trash talk others, cuss, back talk teachers, and cheat. No real learning takes place at all. I'm constantly being told how stupid I am or how retarded my choice of music (which also happens to be my choice of life) is by idiots who will never even make it into a college. What absolutely KILLS me is when someone asks how much I spent on my flute, and after I tell them, they tell me I'm retarded and I should have bought a gun or truck or something with it. Yeah, okay. A gun or truck will really get me into college. No. I bought a material thing, yes, but it's the reason I'm still alive. My flute, an inanimate object, produces music, the most alive 'unliving' thing in the world, which keeps me alive. If it wasn't for music, I wouldn't have ANYTHING at all to look forward to. All my classes are ridiculous and easy. I never have homework and have 100's in nearly all of my classes. Nothing's a challenge, and that's not because I'm ridiculously smart- it's because I'm stuck here in hell with these ridiculously stupid idiots who don't even know correct grammar.
If not for music, I'm quite positive I would have comitted suicide by now. A bit extreme to your tastes, but what is life when there's nothing to look forward to but death? The people in my school find entertainment by congregating in the bathroom and hurting the sad and poor. One of the two people I admire and strongly love will never know, and I will never know them fully. The other will be gone in a few years.
What's there to look forward to when I know I'm stuck here for at least the next few years? Even if I may have a lifetime of better years, 3 horrible upcoming years of hell is enough to ruin that.
Please remember this, you idiot, don't pretend to be sincere and ask for my opinion only to shoot me down afterward and tell me how stupid and retarded I am for even thinking in my mind. Am I not allowed to even think in my mind anymore?
If I could know just one other person, who would actually care, who's been there, who KNOWS. Perhaps I do.
Because you don't care. You'll say hey to me in the hall next time you see me, but you really don't care. For all I know, you could be talking to the person behind me.
I should be dead by now.
It's music's fault.
Blame music
Everyone hates school, but for other reasons than my own. I hate school because of how unchallenging it is and because of how much it takes away from my learning. Yes, it's true, school takes away SO MUCH from my learning. The days when I stay home from school, I learn so much more than I would have if I was at school. I waste hours upon hours of time at school, a place where we're graded on how well we work, how much effort we put into something, and how effeciently we use our time. Many times, I'm RESTRAINED from using my time wisely. Why's that?
The only things I learn at school are how to trash talk others, cuss, back talk teachers, and cheat. No real learning takes place at all. I'm constantly being told how stupid I am or how retarded my choice of music (which also happens to be my choice of life) is by idiots who will never even make it into a college. What absolutely KILLS me is when someone asks how much I spent on my flute, and after I tell them, they tell me I'm retarded and I should have bought a gun or truck or something with it. Yeah, okay. A gun or truck will really get me into college. No. I bought a material thing, yes, but it's the reason I'm still alive. My flute, an inanimate object, produces music, the most alive 'unliving' thing in the world, which keeps me alive. If it wasn't for music, I wouldn't have ANYTHING at all to look forward to. All my classes are ridiculous and easy. I never have homework and have 100's in nearly all of my classes. Nothing's a challenge, and that's not because I'm ridiculously smart- it's because I'm stuck here in hell with these ridiculously stupid idiots who don't even know correct grammar.
If not for music, I'm quite positive I would have comitted suicide by now. A bit extreme to your tastes, but what is life when there's nothing to look forward to but death? The people in my school find entertainment by congregating in the bathroom and hurting the sad and poor. One of the two people I admire and strongly love will never know, and I will never know them fully. The other will be gone in a few years.
What's there to look forward to when I know I'm stuck here for at least the next few years? Even if I may have a lifetime of better years, 3 horrible upcoming years of hell is enough to ruin that.
Please remember this, you idiot, don't pretend to be sincere and ask for my opinion only to shoot me down afterward and tell me how stupid and retarded I am for even thinking in my mind. Am I not allowed to even think in my mind anymore?
If I could know just one other person, who would actually care, who's been there, who KNOWS. Perhaps I do.
Because you don't care. You'll say hey to me in the hall next time you see me, but you really don't care. For all I know, you could be talking to the person behind me.
I should be dead by now.
It's music's fault.
Blame music