Important - Some final words
Hello everyone, it's been a while... hasn't it?
I'm sorry I've been absent, especially since I've been so without a good explanation, but since last I wrote, my life has taken a few turns here and there, mostly for the better.
To begin with the good news... My parents now know of my plans. I have been to two SRT(Sex Reassignment Therapy) sessions since last I updated and I'm well on my way on... well... the road leading to the road to becoming a woman.
My father, quite against my suspicions, took it much better than I had thought. Although shocked and a little nervous, both he and his wife listened while I told them about most of the stuff I could think up. I didn't really make a clear explanation of why I really want to do it, but there was so much stuff buzzing in our skulls it couldn't be helped. Thankfully, he was mostly worried about the problems I'd face with acceptance, that I would have to endure a lot of bullshit, so to speak, and I assured him that as long as my family was all right with it, I would endure anything. We talked for a while and after we were finished I, having been tensing up for that moment the entire day, found myself shaking... but out of relief. This could hardly go better and I'm really happy to have a family as supportive, understanding and just all around kick-ass as this one.
After I had told my father, we exchanged some links, he gave me some he found and I gave him some more in-depth stuff I had managed to dig up. He seemed really enthusiastic about it and I was quite surprised about it, but then again... He's been telling me most of my life how proud he is that I always go my own way, that I make my own road... This is as close to that I can come I guess.
My mother... well... didn't have it quite as easy.
First of all, I hadn't even intended to tell her about it when I did, I had too since she refused to accept my invitation for lunch some day ("you might as well tell me now"), so I had to tell her... during her birthday celebrations... Yeah, you can see where it's going.
To be honest, I didn't tell her until she asked me if I had a boyfriend... C'mon, she thought I was gay! I had to set things straight(though I had speculated upon her believing this before)! As expected of my mother, she said no. Several times. Her first concerns, quite like my own in fact, was "What about work? About school?" and, much to my sour dismay "So much for becoming an english teacher in Japan".
We argued a bit and I actually told her my reason("I'm not... comfortable looking like this") but then we were interrupted. I asked her quickly if we could have lunch some day, again, and she just shook her head, we had to talk about this later on.
Now, my mom's not VERY good at hiding stuff, my dad's the master of it, so I think she just... pushed it away, chose to ignore it until next time. Which was just as well as my sister nearly killed me when I told her mom knew. Hopefully she's still ignoring it, I really hate to leave her standing on the edge like this.
As well as my parents, most of my regular friends know. A few haven't been let in on it yet, mostly due to me not finding a good moment, but overall the reactions have been very, very positive. The one who gave me a hard time was, believe it or not, someone I had just been introduced to, a drag-king and friend to a friend. Apparantly she knew a few people who had gone through with a SRT, so we started talking.
She was a psycho. And by psycho, I don't mean she was weird... she had prescripted medicine to keep her from lounging at peoples' throats. Manic-depressive with a hint of obsessive compulsiveness. Much of the time I spent with her(time I regret, I assure you) we had trivial arguments about the most uninteresting things. She apparantly had a problem talking to people who "don't understand the way I think", i.e. People who don't agree with her opinions.
Anyway, the less said about that horrible woman, the better. I haven't talked to her since and I don't plan to.
So... that brings us to the bad news.
To begin with, I just want to apologize, really, truly, honestly, about doing this without warning or final goodbyes. As of Spring 2006, I will no longer be using any of the accounts I have up to now been using on communities like this, DeviantArt, forums, etc. Neither will I resume contact with any friends outside Sweden.
I am doing this because I want to start anew. Please try to understand that this is not because of anyone, this is because I feel like my own life, my real life, needs working over. I have resumed regular contact with a few friends in Sweden that I hadn't seen for a while and I'm regularily meeting people. It's doing me good and, believe it or not, I'm starting to get a tan (yeah, I know.)
I love you all very, very much, there are no words for how much I'm missing you already. You have brought me a lot of happiness, some brought me pain along with that, but nevertheless I care about you all. I wish you all a happy life and that you will continue being the people you are.
I beg of you, please do not attempt to resume contact with me. Even if you believe you've stumbled upon me again on the internet (it could happen), I will not reveal whether you're talking to me or not. As it is now, ChristianC, or however else you knew me, is gone out of my life, as well as yours. I'll try to remember him fondly, despite his flaws, and I hope you'll do the same.
Also, don't think there are any exceptions to this. I swear on my name that I have not been picking up special friends, or anything like that. Right now, the people I have on my MSN-list is, quite simply, people I meet regularly here in Stockholm.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
Ann
P.S. I'm learning to put on make-up, it's not as easy as it looks. ;3
I'm sorry I've been absent, especially since I've been so without a good explanation, but since last I wrote, my life has taken a few turns here and there, mostly for the better.
To begin with the good news... My parents now know of my plans. I have been to two SRT(Sex Reassignment Therapy) sessions since last I updated and I'm well on my way on... well... the road leading to the road to becoming a woman.
My father, quite against my suspicions, took it much better than I had thought. Although shocked and a little nervous, both he and his wife listened while I told them about most of the stuff I could think up. I didn't really make a clear explanation of why I really want to do it, but there was so much stuff buzzing in our skulls it couldn't be helped. Thankfully, he was mostly worried about the problems I'd face with acceptance, that I would have to endure a lot of bullshit, so to speak, and I assured him that as long as my family was all right with it, I would endure anything. We talked for a while and after we were finished I, having been tensing up for that moment the entire day, found myself shaking... but out of relief. This could hardly go better and I'm really happy to have a family as supportive, understanding and just all around kick-ass as this one.
After I had told my father, we exchanged some links, he gave me some he found and I gave him some more in-depth stuff I had managed to dig up. He seemed really enthusiastic about it and I was quite surprised about it, but then again... He's been telling me most of my life how proud he is that I always go my own way, that I make my own road... This is as close to that I can come I guess.
My mother... well... didn't have it quite as easy.
First of all, I hadn't even intended to tell her about it when I did, I had too since she refused to accept my invitation for lunch some day ("you might as well tell me now"), so I had to tell her... during her birthday celebrations... Yeah, you can see where it's going.
To be honest, I didn't tell her until she asked me if I had a boyfriend... C'mon, she thought I was gay! I had to set things straight(though I had speculated upon her believing this before)! As expected of my mother, she said no. Several times. Her first concerns, quite like my own in fact, was "What about work? About school?" and, much to my sour dismay "So much for becoming an english teacher in Japan".
We argued a bit and I actually told her my reason("I'm not... comfortable looking like this") but then we were interrupted. I asked her quickly if we could have lunch some day, again, and she just shook her head, we had to talk about this later on.
Now, my mom's not VERY good at hiding stuff, my dad's the master of it, so I think she just... pushed it away, chose to ignore it until next time. Which was just as well as my sister nearly killed me when I told her mom knew. Hopefully she's still ignoring it, I really hate to leave her standing on the edge like this.
As well as my parents, most of my regular friends know. A few haven't been let in on it yet, mostly due to me not finding a good moment, but overall the reactions have been very, very positive. The one who gave me a hard time was, believe it or not, someone I had just been introduced to, a drag-king and friend to a friend. Apparantly she knew a few people who had gone through with a SRT, so we started talking.
She was a psycho. And by psycho, I don't mean she was weird... she had prescripted medicine to keep her from lounging at peoples' throats. Manic-depressive with a hint of obsessive compulsiveness. Much of the time I spent with her(time I regret, I assure you) we had trivial arguments about the most uninteresting things. She apparantly had a problem talking to people who "don't understand the way I think", i.e. People who don't agree with her opinions.
Anyway, the less said about that horrible woman, the better. I haven't talked to her since and I don't plan to.
So... that brings us to the bad news.
To begin with, I just want to apologize, really, truly, honestly, about doing this without warning or final goodbyes. As of Spring 2006, I will no longer be using any of the accounts I have up to now been using on communities like this, DeviantArt, forums, etc. Neither will I resume contact with any friends outside Sweden.
I am doing this because I want to start anew. Please try to understand that this is not because of anyone, this is because I feel like my own life, my real life, needs working over. I have resumed regular contact with a few friends in Sweden that I hadn't seen for a while and I'm regularily meeting people. It's doing me good and, believe it or not, I'm starting to get a tan (yeah, I know.)
I love you all very, very much, there are no words for how much I'm missing you already. You have brought me a lot of happiness, some brought me pain along with that, but nevertheless I care about you all. I wish you all a happy life and that you will continue being the people you are.
I beg of you, please do not attempt to resume contact with me. Even if you believe you've stumbled upon me again on the internet (it could happen), I will not reveal whether you're talking to me or not. As it is now, ChristianC, or however else you knew me, is gone out of my life, as well as yours. I'll try to remember him fondly, despite his flaws, and I hope you'll do the same.
Also, don't think there are any exceptions to this. I swear on my name that I have not been picking up special friends, or anything like that. Right now, the people I have on my MSN-list is, quite simply, people I meet regularly here in Stockholm.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
Ann
P.S. I'm learning to put on make-up, it's not as easy as it looks. ;3