let it snow
Today is a rare winter day for me. It snowed yesterday and everything is covered, looks like a winter wonderland. The sun is out too, which is a plus. Normally I hate winter. I hate the cold, the layers upon layers to wear, yet still feeling a chill. I hate not owning boots again this year. I also hate when the weather interferes with my plans. But today it is pretty out... the first *real* snow of the season. If it snowed like this the week of Christmas I would be ok with it. But up until then, let's stick with dustings and sunshine.. shall we?
I stumbled upon something in the past that bugs be a little. It shouldn't. It's nothing bad, no one did anything wrong. But being me... it bothers me. Makes me feel... strange. I wish it didn't effect me. I wish I could tell myself the truth and believe it, but it's not that easy. It's hard when you've seen the things I have seen, been through certain things, seen people around you make decisions that surprise you, hurt you. It's hard to trust anything when you have seen so many things go the way you didn't think they would, or never thought they could. I suppose that's where faith comes in. Believing in something you have no proof of. I guess you could say that's where risk is involved, too. You have to have faith and take the risk of being let down, or worse.... but you're also taking the risk of being wrong, and being pleasantly surprised, and happy.
I wish I could change the way I am. I'm trying.
I stumbled upon something in the past that bugs be a little. It shouldn't. It's nothing bad, no one did anything wrong. But being me... it bothers me. Makes me feel... strange. I wish it didn't effect me. I wish I could tell myself the truth and believe it, but it's not that easy. It's hard when you've seen the things I have seen, been through certain things, seen people around you make decisions that surprise you, hurt you. It's hard to trust anything when you have seen so many things go the way you didn't think they would, or never thought they could. I suppose that's where faith comes in. Believing in something you have no proof of. I guess you could say that's where risk is involved, too. You have to have faith and take the risk of being let down, or worse.... but you're also taking the risk of being wrong, and being pleasantly surprised, and happy.
I wish I could change the way I am. I'm trying.