(no subject)
It's almost the end of August. This summer has been the biggest fuckin' mess I've ever dealt with. In the end, everything I suffered through has been worth it. The end of my summer is the beginning of something better. I can honestly say I don't regret anything that happened, because I know it all happened how it was supposed to. I know I took some valuable lessons from everything. Things I can apply to other areas of my life in the future. I have hang ups, and hurt, and on top of all the other issues I had, I now have more. But it's ok. I can deal. I never thought things would turn out the way they did. If I had tried to envision my future I highly doubt I could come up with a story like this. The summer started out somewhat tragically for me. Comparatively to other situations, it could have been worse, but for me, it was the lies and deception that were the tragic and painful part. My whole life changed in an evening. I couldn't be alone. I would spend time with friends... family.. trying to fill up hours of my day... but once I was alone it would crush me like a bag of cement. Slowly I let go... and eventually stumbled upon something unexpected, and so far, really awesome. It's funny how things change/develop. Sometimes life is amazingly surprising. You look back and think... didn't see this coming. And then the pain and the hurt makes sense... like there was a reason. I feel like I am being rewarded for my heartache. My hang ups prevent me from fully letting go and giving in... but slowly, very slowly, and in very small amounts.. I can feel those hang ups start to fade...
More to come...
More to come...