Love Love Love...
Positives:
- Couple of young'uns I know are coupling up. Loves young dream eh? It warms the cockles *nods*.
- I feel chilled. Chilled is good. Really I just don't care anymore, but chilled is good.
- The gaff is stable. I am forced to live alone by ridiculous Govt rules, but at least I am comfy & warm.
- Blappage. My new hobby EVE is going well.
Smeg-atives:
- I still can't 'love'. I find it so hard to trust these days that, well, she'll need the patience of a saint ( and girls like that are rare BEFORE you consider how niche my world is ). So I know that I am doomed on that one. PTSD is a biatch etc.
- Obviously what was done to me was deliberate ( because they either thought I needed a Carer, or because I had no money ). So I still have a certain hatred for certain certains. After 15 yrs it has gone well beyond 'resentment' I assure you. Having this much hate inside you is uncomfortable. A least I know that I did the right thing; but our society is disgustingly lazy these days. They deserve to burn.
- A different world. Obviously I had to survive & endure in a place where EVERYTHING was rationed, for a VERY long time. Yes, fine, I was able to cover stuff whilst not dying; but I sustained major injuries due to the excessive stress/ neglect. I have fended for myself, alone, for so long now that I just don't know how to do 'couples'. It doesn't come naturally. Now factor in Govt rules on shacking up and, well, I remain 'isolated'. I have friends, fair does, and I am very glad that they are there; but there can never be anything more than friendship going on, because of the lack of resources.
There you go. Short & sweet.
- Couple of young'uns I know are coupling up. Loves young dream eh? It warms the cockles *nods*.
- I feel chilled. Chilled is good. Really I just don't care anymore, but chilled is good.
- The gaff is stable. I am forced to live alone by ridiculous Govt rules, but at least I am comfy & warm.
- Blappage. My new hobby EVE is going well.
Smeg-atives:
- I still can't 'love'. I find it so hard to trust these days that, well, she'll need the patience of a saint ( and girls like that are rare BEFORE you consider how niche my world is ). So I know that I am doomed on that one. PTSD is a biatch etc.
- Obviously what was done to me was deliberate ( because they either thought I needed a Carer, or because I had no money ). So I still have a certain hatred for certain certains. After 15 yrs it has gone well beyond 'resentment' I assure you. Having this much hate inside you is uncomfortable. A least I know that I did the right thing; but our society is disgustingly lazy these days. They deserve to burn.
- A different world. Obviously I had to survive & endure in a place where EVERYTHING was rationed, for a VERY long time. Yes, fine, I was able to cover stuff whilst not dying; but I sustained major injuries due to the excessive stress/ neglect. I have fended for myself, alone, for so long now that I just don't know how to do 'couples'. It doesn't come naturally. Now factor in Govt rules on shacking up and, well, I remain 'isolated'. I have friends, fair does, and I am very glad that they are there; but there can never be anything more than friendship going on, because of the lack of resources.
There you go. Short & sweet.