Think you're 'ard?
o I have been tortured. Twice. Indeed.
Firstly: Still 'ere ya wankers! You didn't win!
Secondly...
Well, I am still here; and, much as I have issues trusting people, I am still here and still healing. Nice.
Obviously I've said before that part of this is my Qaballah mixed with Philosophical Paganism making me so durable, but...
I'm just gonna list the ins and outs of what was done to me.
Situation 1.
Coming home from Uni with PTSD ( after Domestic Violence with Hell's Angels involvement ) I am misdiagnosed by SLaM ( who are still thinking that it is the 1980's... ). So my PTSD remains untreated. As my health continues to decline I go from being capable of full-time work in 2001 ( year 1 ) to signed off ( year 3 ). So that's an obvious decline. That was SLaM's bad medicine.
That's when my family then refuse to help me, simply as I am male. I kid you not. Poverty sets in, due to this deliberate neglect, and all I get from my family is "you're a man, get a job" as they continue to substance abuse. By the end of year 5 ( 2006 ) my legs have blown from this excessive stress. They never heal.
Needless to say it was agony. I was put in a Stress Position ( poverty ) to force me to get a job when I genuinely could not. The Isolation was VERY extreme. I would spend days so poor I could not do anything, just staring out the window ( at a world I could not afford to interact with ).
So we have stress applied to force me to get work, when I was injured. AND we have 'solitary confinement' too. Including forcing me to give up my Cat ( my family would not help me with Cat food, so I had to give him to them to make sure he was fed. Yes, they are that extreme ).
That's why my legs blew. Obvious stuff.
Situation 2.
Having just grassed a wifebeater to help the lass out, after 3 days she goes back to said wifebeater and attacks me instead. She is an aggressive alcoholic, basically. Me not being psychic I did not see this coming.
There were 3 lasses being whacked in the end, of which only 1 went back to her abuser.
So...
I am harassed across 3 bars by said gang, with venue landlords helping them, as I was talking about what happened. As they spread any old crap to make sure that no-one would help me ( and no-one helped me, so it clearly worked ).
My legs fail as I leave bar 1 for bar 2. I have to start walking with a stick.
So they lie, claiming that I have faked my injuries, and carry on harassing me ( for the next year at least ). They can see the pain I am in, and they just carry on.
They were using my pain condition against me, by keeping me stressed ( so that it would be triggered ), to force me to claim that I was delusional and that there was no wifebeating. A gangster-ism. This action is disability bashing. Yes, there was a bunch of Cocaine-heads involved.
I still have problems trusting people now after this one, but then it only ended 2 years back.
They took advantage of the Stigma of Mental Health to try and force me to drop the complaint and instead claim that nothing happened and that I 'went mad'; using pain to force me to do what they wanted; even though this could have wrecked my career. A gangster-ism, and an obvious one too.
~
2 times when pain was used as a fulcrum to force me to do things that would have seriously harmed me. Period 1 was for 3 years in the end. Period 2, ultimately, was about the same.
And I survived. Not unscathed, but I survived.
That makes me pretty tough.
Oh, and I have also survived Schizophrenia ( when my boiler gassed me in 2007 ). It's not connected to the above 2 incidents ( the above 2 are clearly gangster-isms ), but it was certainly an ordeal.
Takes a licking, & keeps on ticking :)
Mos Croydon. A hive of scum & villainy...
Click to view