In my head it's, well, getting a bit clearer as to what is going on.
he key themes from the Croydon women that did what they did were: 'Uncaring', 'Over-privileged/spoiled', 'sexist', and... It was always about them, and I had to 'get a job'.
I wrote an email to a new friend explaining some stuff. The dialogue is below:
Hellooooo,
What I was talking about on tuesday was how my head is messed up due to 12 years of bad experiences.
A girl gang cost me my home and marbles in Southampton in 2000. My own family then neglected me whilst I was injured ( they're all female as well ) after soton, and that broke my legs too.
And for the past 5 years I've had a Croydon girl-gang on my case bullying me. Yup, more emotional trauma.
12 years of abuse by women.
That's what I am afraid of. Violent and/or ridiculously demanding women. And I'm fuffing terrified of big drinkers too ( all bad-guys were ).
So yes, I have to somehow shake that. It's not easy. I'm only 1 year in to getting over it so... My mood has improved, but it's still taking it's time.
Not useful.
It's nothing you've done, but I find I have to really get used to people being around ( over a long time ) for me to start to trust. Once bitten twice shy etc.
Plus I tend to leave work at work, and home stays at home IYSWIM.
Anyway, hope all is well,
Chris...
It's consumer culture isn't it? I had 3 jobs; but because I was injured I was seen as 'something to be thrown away', as I could not be 'upgraded further'. For 12 years.
When I had cash I had ladies trying it on. It's when my health failed that the cruelty and neglect begun.
English women? In some ways yes ( the Tory voter pattern ). Croydon women? Lazy and demanding if you ask me. They still see man as being the provider, but if a man is injured they can't be 'changed' so need to be binned.
'Marry him today, change his ways tomorrow' - Guys & Dolls.
And there was me thinking that exchanging sex for money was prostitution...
I also know full well that as soon as one latches on there is a good chance it'll slide into what they want. Their life, you having to do stuff for them whilst they go to the hairdresser, and having babies. It's a pretty common theme ( other men I know have had it as well ).
I don't want kids, and can't carry someone else. I have bog all to work with ( a Govt decision ), so get a job babe. No, a real job, not just 3 hours a day BLAH. Considered studying and being a career girl?
I like career girls.
Yeah, getting there. Not out of the doldrums yet, but I have a much better idea as to what is going on now. Knowing the terrain is half the battle.