anly! *beats chest* *coughs up a lung*
Yeah, it's something like that. As I have a meat-fest ( it needed to go ) I'm wondering what is still going on in Cronx.
Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of going back ( I'm more likely to date Roswell Ivory, and that is CHUFFING unlikely ); but psychologically it's fascinating.
Leah started a thang where I was to be goaded as I was an old nobody. It was part of this 'force him to shut up about the wife & disabled bashing, AND force him to dj slimelight-style as well' thing. I have to run events, or people will think I'm crap.
I know my goth vanity is bad, but it's not that bad...
So yes, I am to be ridiculed unless I demonstrate how cool I am. Or something...
They used violence to try and force me into silence over the disability bashing and wife-beating; and now they want me dj'ing they are trying a type of violence again.
I'm 40, not 14. Why on earth would I bite over something that childish? Seriously.
And there is still no way on this planet that I'll risk my female friends in one of Esther's crack-den dumps. Or my own safety for that matter. If she won't play by the rules then I am gone.
Like all the other old gods of Cronx. All that musical knowledge that has fled, because of the violence & corruption. The place is a tip for a reason. It's because the managers joined the gangs as well.
In reality I've been tortured three times. I don't mean flimsy crap either; I mean mind-breaking agony for months on end.
- 9 months in Soton > My second brain injury, and first encounter with SLaM.
- 2-3 years of familial neglect in Croydon whilst injured and under SLaM.
- A year of agony when I was reduced to walking with a stick by those dodgy venue managers and their gang friends.
And I'm still here, still wearing flouncy poofy shirts, and still as uncool as ever. That's not too shabby as mental toughness goes.
Look at the violence against me though. That much violence, for such petty reasons. And then you get those who claim to like me and are trying to force me into silence over stuff.
It's always about me not talking about the violence of Croydon. And when will the local authorities actually take the violence of Cronx seriously? 2006 was the last big push ( Cllr Tony and the SNT's ), so what has happened since? Apart from more violence.
Fuck. Dat. Shit. Quote me. I know I'm bad-ass, but I am NOT suicidal.
Croydon is dead. There's nothing to see here; move along move along. I'm VERY glad I live on the borders, let's put it that way.
These people are shit. Seriously. The decent crowd got the hell out. What's left is half crazy ( the cover-ups and refusal to clean their venues up ) half crack-head. Flatten the place and start again; job done.