As I process the data. Blah blah blah.
iolent Unreasonable Kids in Violent Unreasonable Kids shockah. News at 10.
As I heal ( and I'm pleased to say I am healing ) I look back on the last 4 years and what went wrong. Stage-by-stage, slowly-but-surely, I've been laying ghosts to rest.
Don't get me wrong; these people will never get near me again because of their irrational violence; but I still have injuries to deal with. There is no off switch for 4 years of pain. It takes time to get rid of memories like that.
When a bloke asks a girl to leave her abusive partner and be with him that bloke has to consider 2 things:
1) Odds are she's gonna be a drunken train-wreck for a while, which could be pretty crap to be near.
2) It's quite possible that abusive boyfriend ( the dodgy ex as he will become ) will have friends, and may well get violent on you too. You could be facing a whole gang, on your own.
So in moving to rescue a lass from an abusive partner ( poaching his girlfriend as it is ), well, it's not for the light-hearted. It's a VERY high-risk manoeuvre, so that lass really needs to be worth it.
The girl I tried to poach ( the rescue I attempted ) seemed worth it.
- Turns out she wasn't, but then I'm not psychic. C'est la vie.
- Turns out the whole community was not worth it either. Gangs eh?
The point was that at the time I was willing to protect a cutie from a dodgy boyfriend, even though that would also put my safety in jeopardy as well. I don't see how this is a problem.
I'm not willing to do it now, as I am too injured; but back then I was fresh enough to take the risk. She chose to go back to him, and then start this ridiculous hate campaign instead. I guess she enjoyed being whacked around *shrugs*.
Hey-ho, life is life. That one is clearly too nuts to date. As are most of her friends I hasten to add. Pretty girls sure, coming across as VERY cool, but each one is nuts. They're afraid of genuine affection, and SERIOUSLY obsessed with public image ( which is why they want this blog destroyed, as it's a record of what happened ). Fashion victims and addicts? Yes, and yes.
Yeah, when the landlords are willing to protect lunatics like that then there is no saving the place. Glad I left Cronx I have to say. That one is getting very easy to let go of if you see what I mean. I have no regrets in walking from that hell-hole.
I had to check, just in case it was me who had screwed up; but it's obvious it wasn't me in the end. So I get to move on with my ego vaguely intact.
Bromley is proving ok. It's so much safer, and VERY easy for me to get to. And with my money starting to improve now the future seems a bit brighter again.
Clearly I am healing. Anyone thinking I am obsessed is obviously just a moron ( there isn't a nice way of putting it ) who doesn't understand how Human Emotions work ( and Talking & Art Therapy for that matter ). Deep emotions are how relationships work. And painful memories take time to file away. So you either talk about it and show patience, or you descend into a drunken stupor like so many in our 'red light district' City Centre have.
Deep emotions are a natural and important part of life. If you refuse to let them in you'll just drift from Random Sexual Encounter to Random Sexual Encounter. And that ain't healthy. You're supposed to put down some roots after all, or you'll have nowhere to truly call home.
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Home is good. The cats are stinky. And my new ickle business-on-the-side is doing ok. Just wish things would cool down a bit. The only good thing about these heatwaves is that the bikini count goes up ( oh come on, it's a lovely view ). My sinuses are blocked to hell at present, which is pretty damn icky.
In another couple of weeks we'll shift into the time of year I truly like. Late Summer and the approach to Xmas. Good temperatures, good evenings, and the drunks have all been nicked by then ;)
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I also found this:
Feminism and the Disposable Male.
This chica knows the score. Way smarter than the feminists I encounter in this day and age. They use the label 'feminism' just to make money personally. They don't use it to argue for equality like the ones I knew back in the 90's. It's an important difference.
Think about it: If your current bloke is disposable you can't like him that much. Why are you with him? Serious question. Are you an orgasm addict? Sex addiction is real after all, and can really mess you up.
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I know my head is in a good place. I just need to get my ability to trust back. And there's nothing creepy about that.
Well, not unless you're seriously insecure anyway.