inspect what you expect

[christeswarrior]

40 hours from this moment I should be in Nacogdoches, moving my belongings in my dorm. I'm a ball of emotions when it comes to this subject. A small part of me wants to stay at home with my family and friends, another part of me cant wait to leave this old town. Nervous, excited, anxious, refreshed, stoacked, qurious are just a few ways I can be described. Fear has left, I'll address this later. All this week I've been running around with my ma and buddies getting all the last minute objects, and last minute laughs in. Tuesday I went and visited my kids @ the YMCA forest creek. I'll tell ya what...I honestly was expecting a handful of kids to really take me back in. The moment I walked in the door their was an explosion of energy that swamped me in hugs and hellos. the poor current counselors could not manage this onslaught so I had to be the one to tell them to all retake their seats. I was still so incredibly overwellmed. Talking to all the kids thro out the hour I was their put me in a place of complete solitude yet at the same time I felt so surrounded. Half the time I was so tongue tied..Everything I wanted to tell every individual kiddo was on the tip of my tongue. To see my Melissa mayonasse took the overall cake! She had an ear to ear grin going the whole 20 minutes she was there before her ma came. It was obvious how high her excitment level was. lol Then there was tom tom (thomas) who begged me to not go to school and come back and be his counselor. I found it so hard telling him I couldn't. Simply leaving it at "I wish I could" just didn't seem fit. Maiden Jayden was in tears because when I was attempting to usher the kids back to their seats I failed to "say hi" to her. When I saw her crying I could NOT help but get a heavy lump in my throat. I gave her my full attention and she just clung to me and said how much she missed me. My boy Cameron just locked his hand in myne for a solid 15 minutes and kept asking me "where have you been?". I was afraid a riot might have busted out when I told them I had been working for the childrens courtyard for the summer, but cooler heads prevailed. :-) After spending time with each kid I made my way to the door and yelled bye. Thus the stampede part 2. 5 minutes later I actually made it out of the door. Leaving that school I somehow felt complete. I dont know how and in what way but just complete. Now that my final week is unwinding I look back at the transformation that has become of me. I was so scared of going off to this college. Though locked as a follower of Christ, I was in fear of slipping into the ways of the world. Then I remember I have weathered that strom within the year of the apt. I was afraid of not being able to pass my classes due to being out of school for a year. God has set that at peace. Making friends was my next worry. Already I have made solid friends well rooted with God. Spending time with my kids also made me realize the bigger picture of the friendship spectrum. Just be who I am and those whom are true will love you for whom you truely are. Now I am fully prepared to spearhead this.
MY Jesus,My God, thank you for your salvation
let me not forget your love. thank you for the loving family and rare,true friends young and old alike you have presented me with in your life. Let them all harvest your full blessing and unconditional love. Please aid me within the dark, for you are my sheppard. Let your light shine through me. Let your praise fill this earth. All nations sing your praise. Minister to the young man that has given his life to you tonight lord. Let those seeds fully bloom. never forget jhn 3:16
AMEN

God is good!

Tommorrow..or well I guess tonight (thurs.) I play in the championship in the inline league @ 9. Im pumped. I will let yall know how it goes win or lose.

I love you all
god bless