11. santa and business.
Dear Father Christmas (bleeding Americans),
I really haven't done this since I was eight or something stupid. Even then I didn't get what I wanted. I guess that's my fault for asking for giant space robots with lasers when ma was spending all our damn money on getting a turkey or something. Even that ticket to the rugby fell through.
And now I know that was not because you suck, but cause you don't exist and a stupid holiday made me ask my ma for stuff she couldn't ever deliver, y'know? So who the hell am I writing to? I dunno. I tried to make sure my kids didn't think you sucked. So...if someone's actually reading this and you actually have the power to give us what we want and not just get our hopes up like little kids and that shit, even if it is just the bloody Admiral playing games with us and trying to drag out stupid memories of our childhoods, which no doubt you'll then wave in front of our wardens like some kind of insight into our dark, blackened souls - basically, I'll shut up and say you better not let me down.
So could you give Uhura a James Bond boxset and some Martini. Because everyone loves James Bond and she needs more fun stuff to do in her life. Or something. She seems boring. A James Bond night cheers everyone up. Preferably those new ones with the blonde bloke which women like to stare at. I think he's a bit creepy, but what the hell do I know?
Get Castiel all the damn candles he wants, yeah? If he wants to live like a squishy hippy inmate, then let him.
West? Give West a bottle of Bushmills 10 year Single Malt - the man seems like he likes a good whiskey.
In fact, can I have a bottle of that too?
JD - get him some boxing gloves and... y'know, all that boxing stuff. I'll teach that kid to stand up for himself one day.
I doubt I can ask you to get me and Snoop a piece, can I? Nooo, because you're probably the Admiral in disguise or something. Well, get Snoop something from her guys/gang, whoever it was she did shit with.
I'd like to know how my family are, alright? Not even a damn material gift there.
If you ARE the Admiral and you DARE show this letter to Uhura (or anyone else), I will find where you're hiding and rip your bloody head off.
Thanks,
Paddy Maguire.
Hey, angel fella. I'll go get your shit tonight, but I'm calling in the debt now. Or part of it. As much as you've got, yeah? The rest later. It's a dangerous thing I'm trying here.
I meant to ask, guys, who carved those things out with the snacks? They're damn great, I have to say.