9. meet mandy.

[christ_onabike]

[A female voice with a thick Manchester accent comes on, sounding somewhere between confused and a little frustrated,]

There's a baby hanging around this kitchen, guys. Which is just dangerous. Is it anyone's? I'm looking after it until someone claims him, because you can't just leave little boys lying around like this. I don't even know this kid'

Comments

BLAME CATHERINE I am now trolling every female with this guy

[major_west]

Hello there, lovely.

THROUGHLY BLAMED. and she's... not objecting too much.

[christ_onabike]

'Lo there. You got a name to go with the compliments?

ffff none of them had first names :C

[major_west]

My mates mostly called me Clif. Get to know me a little better, and you can call me anything you like.

[christ_onabike]

I'm Mandy and I'll stick to Clif, ta.

And why would I want to know you a little better, mate?

[major_west]

'Cause this place don't look like it's got a lot of friendly faces, bein' a prison for like, supervillains and all.

[christ_onabike]

Well, love, I'm a friendly face, sure, but how do I know you ain't a supervillain or vampire or something?

[major_west]

Awwh, not me, Mandy. I'm a soldier, here to defend and protect. You see, me? One of the last survivors of this big fuckin' infection, like, end of the world and all that.

and she has. weird, not-quite-canon shameless christmas special.

[christ_onabike]

...so I should trust you because you came from some kind of apocalypse?

Did you manage to defend and protect shit, though? I've seen that kind of thing fucked up by soldiers before.

not... completely lying here!

[major_west]

Did the best I could with the orders I got. Y'know, I died protecting this little girl and this woman from the Infected, so I like to think that puts me in with the good guys here.

[christ_onabike]

I guess best you could is all you can do at times like that, mate. Alright, that sounds decent enough, yeah.

Although 'the Infected' sounds like an old zombie film or something.

[major_west]

Naw, it wasn't like, Night of the Living Dead shit or anything. They were runners, like. Real fast and aggressive.

[christ_onabike]

Shit, man.

I reckon you must have done damn well to get out of that.

[major_west]

Fuckin' right I did. I can show you my battle scars.

[christ_onabike]

Can you now? Where would a soldier keep those?

Seriously, what ever happened to buying a girl a drink?

[major_west]

I keep 'em in my--

Wait... Right. Got a bottle of, ehh... Johnnie Walker in the Major's cabin, mostly empty. There's a pub here, yeah?

[christ_onabike]

And he catches on.

There's a pub, yeah, though hell if I know if we can get in there. Doubt it, somehow.

My dad's got a bottle of wine lying around the place. Hell if I know what he planned to do with it, but it's mine now. So I guess the girl can get you a drink?