(no subject)
I turn off my lights and see the stars light up in the world I have created for myself. I close my eyes and I find myself thinking about him., again. He's always been there, for years, tucked away all nice and warm in that special corner of my heart that's exclusivlely for him. It is love, but a different kind of love than I ever thought possible. There are no lies, no bullshit. I've never been able to lie to him. And lately I haven't been able to get him off my mind. He is my favorite book, something I can enjoy time and time again, but I never want to put down. Merely thinking of the sound of his voice is enough to set off cannons, fireworks, what have you. He knows me, but more importantly, he knows my heart. And I know his. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm scared as hell that one day I won't have him, because I've always had him. He's always been in the background of my life. But doesn't the background take up more room in the picture than anything else? I wish I could close my eyes and fall asleep, just for a second, and then awaken to that voice and that smile. He is only 10 hours away, but it might as well be a thousand miles. I never thought that two people from two very different worlds could share such a strong emotional connection. So what now? I know that I love him, I've always loved him. I just wish that I could have him.
Day 4.
I think too much.
Day 4.
I think too much.