I Can't Sleep...
i cant sleep at all.it's almost 4:00 a.m. i keep having nightmares, and Erick isn't here to hold me when i wake up, i can't even call him unless i want to talk to his voice mail. i ahte it when he goes to Mexico, i know he wants to cuz he misses his family. but that doesn't help me any. i love him so freaking much, he just doesn't know how much, i know i should show it more by telling him "i love you" instead of "man you know what , forget you" . i hate that we have been fighting so much. if omething were to happen to him i don't want to live with myself knowing that the last 2 weeks were together was non-stop fighting almost. when he comes back i'm gonna flat out tell him "you know what I LOVE YOU" that is if i get up the guts to tell him.thats pretty sad i've been with the dude for almost 4 yrs now and still can't say that, i think i don't say it b/c i'm scared of not hearing it back. which would kill me.