Life Update 04.29.14
Wow It really has been forever since I updated this blog. I guess alot has changed since I graduated from High School.
Here's a journal entry I did late one night:
Some Late Night Thinking
I realize all this staying up till like 4am-5am really doesn’t do anything for me. I’m losing sleep and just thinking too much about how boring my life has been. It’s like the same routine everyday: sleep, class, work, dance. As much as I love dancing, I’d like to have some excitement in life, maybe a little drama.
I recently found out, one of my good friends got into a new relationship with a guy. It makes me think, how come I haven’t experienced this yet. Are there qualities I don’t possess that appeal to guys? To tell you the truth, I’ve always had a hard time interacting with guys. First, I’ve always been conscious about my body and appearance. Back in Jr. High, my boyfriend's friend called me ugly and he didn't make any effort to comfort or defend me. I never really held a grudge against him, but it was the first time I became aware of how society view the ideal image for a girl. It is also because of something that happened when I was younger that I rather not talk about. It kind of made me afraid of getting close to any guy. I'm a shy person to begin with, but I'm even more shy in front of guys. Now I'm making an effort to make some guy friends. I really admire girls who are able to have platonic relationships with guys.
If you look at the crushes I’ve had, I tend to fall for guys pretty easily. During High School, It’s like the simplest nice action from a guy can make me fall for him. It’s stupid because later the guys turn out to be jerks. I haven’t liked a guy for probably over 4 years. My parents expect me to only start dating after I graduated from college, and I’m starting to think that will actually happen. You might say why do you want a boyfriend so much? Not everything is about guys. That’s true, but I’m not just looking for a boyfriend, I’m looking for a best friend who I can be myself in front of. Call me corny, but I’d like to experience those moments I see in Korean dramas.
Enough of this sappy thinking, I’m going to head to bed. Tomorrow’s another day and possibly another late night of thinking
Here's a journal entry I did late one night:
Some Late Night Thinking
I realize all this staying up till like 4am-5am really doesn’t do anything for me. I’m losing sleep and just thinking too much about how boring my life has been. It’s like the same routine everyday: sleep, class, work, dance. As much as I love dancing, I’d like to have some excitement in life, maybe a little drama.
I recently found out, one of my good friends got into a new relationship with a guy. It makes me think, how come I haven’t experienced this yet. Are there qualities I don’t possess that appeal to guys? To tell you the truth, I’ve always had a hard time interacting with guys. First, I’ve always been conscious about my body and appearance. Back in Jr. High, my boyfriend's friend called me ugly and he didn't make any effort to comfort or defend me. I never really held a grudge against him, but it was the first time I became aware of how society view the ideal image for a girl. It is also because of something that happened when I was younger that I rather not talk about. It kind of made me afraid of getting close to any guy. I'm a shy person to begin with, but I'm even more shy in front of guys. Now I'm making an effort to make some guy friends. I really admire girls who are able to have platonic relationships with guys.
If you look at the crushes I’ve had, I tend to fall for guys pretty easily. During High School, It’s like the simplest nice action from a guy can make me fall for him. It’s stupid because later the guys turn out to be jerks. I haven’t liked a guy for probably over 4 years. My parents expect me to only start dating after I graduated from college, and I’m starting to think that will actually happen. You might say why do you want a boyfriend so much? Not everything is about guys. That’s true, but I’m not just looking for a boyfriend, I’m looking for a best friend who I can be myself in front of. Call me corny, but I’d like to experience those moments I see in Korean dramas.
Enough of this sappy thinking, I’m going to head to bed. Tomorrow’s another day and possibly another late night of thinking