(no subject)

[chrissy_goes_gr]

I'm in another one of those
"nobody understands me"
moods -
snappy, tired, teary-eyed.
I keep remembering that I have to go to school tomorrow
and try to keep up,
try to find a good spot to sit at during lunch
without bothering anyone,
and try to ignore her flirting with him.

I have given up on the boy front.
Or at least that's what I'm saying right now, 
but in a few minutes I'll be cursing her again.

It's all bad karma.

I am back at square one, it seems,
only I am not a freshman.
Nope, no longer a rosy cheeked, skinny little naive thing,
excited for the future,
willing to be a chorus girl,
not trying to make any statements.
I'm too smart now-
I know how things work.

I went into my living room to watch West Side Story and my little sister blocked the TV and said I wasn't allowed to watch the "stupidest movie ever."
I told her sometimes being in this house makes me want to go to college.
I've never actually meant that before.
But I did.

I want new people,
fresh faces,
new opportunities,
definitely new boys.

I've given up on solutions
and answers.

I want to forget.