Fic: The Breakup
Title: The Breakup
Author: Chrissy6299
Pairing: Pre-Jared/Jensen and mention of Jared/Sandy
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1662
Summary: 3rd story in the Morning After ‘verse. Jared’s epiphany, mixed emotions and a breakup.
Disclaimer: Jared and Jensen belong to themselves. I do not know them. This is 100% fiction, a.k.a. Not Real!
Spoilers: None
Author’s notes:
1) Jensen is single in this ‘Verse.
2) Big thanks to huntress69and Annie for the fast beta, they make this readable; any and all mistakes are mine.
3) All my other work can be found in my master post.
Previous pars of the 'Verse: Part 1: The Morning After and Part 2: Mystery Smile
The last couple of weeks had been strange. Last month Jared found out that his best friend was in love with him. It was a bit of a shock, but it didn’t really upset him, they’re so close, both physically and emotionally, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise at all. It took a few days for him to process the information, but after that they were back to their usual selves; Jared ignoring Jensen’s personal space and Jensen tolerating his ‘puppy on a sugar high’ nature with an ease that he had never had with anyone else. With most people, even good friends, Jared felt that he had to hold himself back, thinking that he would be too much for them. But not with Jensen; from day one Jared felt that he could be himself with him. Instead of being annoyed with his hyperactive dorkiness, Jensen was always indulgent and amused.
So while the idea that Jensen was in love with him didn’t bother him, and he had found himself looking at Jensen in a new way, a way that went beyond friendship, Jared didn’t really think about it or act on it. At least until a few weeks later when he realized that there was only one week of filming Supernatural left, and that after that they would go their separate ways for two months just like every hiatus. He had a movie coming up which he was very excited about, and Jensen also had a pretty good movie deal to keep him busy. Also, season four was already guaranteed, so they knew for sure that they would be back in July.
Yet the thought of not seeing Jensen for two months hurt, he always missed Jensen when he wasn’t around, but this was the first time he had really thought about it. Work was extremely busy after the writers strike, everyone was rushing to get the last four episodes of the season finished, and so there wasn’t much time for Jared to self-evaluate his feelings, thoughts, and relationships. But even with the craziness at work that left him with little time to breathe, let alone think, the idea of two months without Jensen kept bugging him. When he had asked Sandy to marry him earlier this year he thought he had everything all worked out, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore.
Two days before season three wrapped, Jared had what he later called an epiphany. He realized that while he was going to miss Jensen like crazy the next few months, he often didn’t see Sandy for weeks at a time, sometimes even a month. And while he enjoyed her company when they were together, he didn’t miss her when she was not there, at least not as much as he used to, and not as much as he was going to miss Jensen.
That night Jared didn’t sleep much, his mind working overtime, trying to make sense of his feelings. By morning he had figured much out, and was filled with mixed emotions. To his regret he had realized, or maybe finally admitted to himself, that while he loved Sandy dearly, he wasn’t in love with her anymore. He had been once, but sometime in the last four years his feelings had changed and he hadn’t even noticed.
And then there was Jensen; whenever Jared thought about tomorrow, next month, or even next year, no matter what, Jensen was always there in his mind. All his future plans involved Jensen in one way or the other, and he didn’t want it any other way. The idea of a future without Jensen was unthinkable, and when Jared forced himself to think about it, it hurt; he didn’t want a future if Jensen wasn’t in it. Also, the thought of kissing Jensen… yeah, he had no problem with that whatsoever, he could even think of a few other things that he wouldn’t mind Jensen doing with his mouth.
Conclusion: He was in love with his best friend, who just happened to be also in love with him.
So he went to work that day feeling both sad and happy. But the second he saw Jensen that happy feeling won out, making him even bouncier than usual.
Jared hadn’t shared his epiphany with Jensen that day though; he felt that he first had to talk to Sandy. Therefore he kept quiet for those last few days he spent with Jensen in Vancouver, and flew to Texas to start filming Friday the 13th and to talk to Sandy who would be joining him in Texas mid May.
-------------
It was Sunday, June 1st. Jared was staring at his phone, Jensen’s number starting back at him.
Yesterday Jared had finally gotten up the courage to talk to Sandy and tell her that they were over. Apparently figuring out that he wasn’t in love with her anymore was a whole lot easier that actually telling her that. They had been together more than four years; she was an amazing woman, and ever since she’d arrived in Texas to be with him two weeks before, Jared had questioned, if love wasn’t enough, if they couldn’t just keep on going the way they had been. But he knew they couldn’t, it wasn’t fair to her; she deserved to be with someone who didn’t just love her, but also was in love with her and cherished her.
So the night before, after dinner, Jared sat her down and told her that he couldn’t marry her, that he wasn’t in love with her. It was hard; there were tears from both of them. They talked some, Sandy first trying to convince him that he was wrong, and later trying to understand and come to grips with the truth. She had left later that evening, not wanting to stay the night even though Jared had an extra bedroom for her to stay in. He called her a cab, not wanting her to drive, and called ahead to book a hotel room for her on his credit card, making sure that it was all paid for. It was the least he could do.
That night he hadn’t mentioned Jensen once, this wasn’t about him. Jensen may have been the reason why he realized that he was no longer in love with Sandy, but he wasn’t the reason why he wasn’t in love with her anymore. And Sandy hadn’t brought it up, for which Jared was grateful because he wouldn’t have lied to her if she had.
After staring at Jensen’s number for five minutes, he finally hit the send button. An hour earlier he had called his mother and told her about the break up. She didn’t really understand, but had been supportive of his decision, and proud of him that he’d told Sandy before the wedding, though she also was a bit angry with him, asking him what on earth he had been thinking then when he proposed to her in Paris. These two days had been an emotional rollercoaster, and all Jared wanted to do was waste the rest of the day sleeping and go to work the next day and try to forget the weekend. But first he had to make this one phone call.
The phone rang twice before the familiar voice on the other end greeted him. “Hey Jared, what’s up?”
“Hey,” Jared greeted back, though apparently his mood was noticeable in that one little word, because Jensen was immediately concerned.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen asked.
“I… uh.…” Jared started before taking a deep breath and forcing himself to continue. “Sandy and I broke up yesterday.”
“What? What happened?” The surprise was clear in Jensen’s voice.
Jared couldn’t help but smile a little; that was exactly what his mother’s first reaction had been. “I realized that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with her, that I wasn’t in love with her anymore.”
“Oh,” was all that Jensen said. And really, what else could he say?
So Jared continued, trying to explain. “I love her, you know. Always will, four years do not just disappear, but I’m not in love with her anymore. I haven’t been for a while now. I just didn’t know it.”
“I’m sorry man. How did she take it? Are you okay?” And it sounded like Jensen had more questions coming, so Jared cut him off, answering the few he had already asked.
“Thanks. She took it pretty hard, we spent a few hours crying and talking before she took a cab to a hotel. I’m doing okay, I’m sad, but I’m also happy that I figured it out now, and not after the wedding.”
“Yeah, I can’t even imagine; I mean, four years, that’s a long time.” There was silence for a second before Jensen continued. “You want me to come over? I’m busy, but… I can tell them to deal without me for a few days.”
That sounded really good to Jared. Jensen hadn’t been able to spend more than one day with Jared while he was in Texas visiting family before heading up to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to start filming My Bloody Valentine. But he knew that Jensen couldn’t just leave without risking his movie, or at least his reputation of being reliable. Though Jared was sure that if he asked, Jensen truly would tell them in Pittsburgh to shove it, and hop on the next plane to Texas. He gratefully declined the offer. “Thanks, but I’ll be okay.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure, work will keep me busy. Just keep sending me funny and inappropriate text messages and I’ll be fine.”
Jensen laughed, “Alright man, will do. And you know, I’m always just a phone call away if you want to talk, or something.”
“I know.” And Jared really did. No matter what happened in the future between them, he knew that they would always be friends, that Jensen was always someone he could count on.
Part 4: On the Other Side of the World.