Fic: Not Equal, Yet, Together As One Chapter 3

[chrissy6299]

Not Equal, Yet, Together As One
By Chrissy6299

Chapter Three


The first few days after Jared arrived, they spend most of the time together, talking, playing computer games and a few games of basketball, which Jensen all lost after he finally convinced Jared that, just like with the computer games, he wanted strong and fair competition and it was all right to get physical to get the ball from him.

To Jensen’s delight, Jared seemed to start to get comfortable with him, though the early mornings and late evenings were still a moment of uncertainty of what his place was and what was expected of him, even though Jensen had made no demands in any shape or form.

At the end of the week, Jensen had planned to take Jared over to Chris and Steve’s place. They were playing that evening at ‘Angels’, their usual hangout, and he wanted to spend the day with them.

The day before Jensen had excitedly told Jared about their plans, and though he wasn’t really thrilled about it, Jared didn’t mind the idea of getting out of the house. That was until he woke up early in the morning feeling horrible.

He turned toward the digital clock on Jensen’s nightstand and suppressed a moan when he opened his eyes, 6a.m. He slowly made his way out of bed and to the bathroom, and as quietly as possible, so not to wake Jensen, he took an aspirin and washed it away with some water from the faucet. After only three days of drinking bottled spring water he already noticed the foul taste of the tap water, water that he had drank all his life. The taste upset his stomach even more and he fought down the need to puke, not wanting to wake up Jensen, who, he was sure, wouldn’t be happy with being disturbed this early in the morning.

He made his way back to bed, stopping more than once, waiting for the room to stop spinning before moving on. Once he was back under the covers, he went back to sleep within a minute.

Until Jensen shook him awake around 8 a.m. “Time to get up, I’m already finished in the bathroom, hurry up before you miss breakfast.”

Missing breakfast sounded great to Jared, but seeing how excited Jensen was about visiting his friends today, it most likely wasn’t appreciated. So Jared forced himself out of bed and took a shower. He quickly washed himself, ignoring his dizziness, the fact that the water droplets hurt his skin like they were needles, and the tears that were falling down his face because all he wanted was his mom; she always took care of him when he was sick.

Afterwards, as he looked into the mirror to shave, he wondered why he didn’t even look half as bad as he felt, because apart from being a bit pale, he looked fine, his eyes weren’t even that red from crying.

With a sigh he finished up in the bathroom, got dressed in what he hoped was appropriate for hanging out with Jensen’s friends, and made his way down to the breakfast room, to eat breakfast that he no desire to eat.

Since he was late, Mackenzie had already left, and Jensen and his parents were discussing Jensen’s upcoming apprenticeship. They were so involved in the conversation that besides a quick ‘hey’ from Jensen, they didn’t even notice that Jared barely touched his food.

After a few minutes he excused himself, and made his way back to the bathroom in time to empty his stomach in the toilet bowl. He gave himself the luxury of sitting on the floor while leaning against the wall for a few minutes, before he heaved himself up to brush his teeth and got ready to leave, so that they could go whenever Jensen wanted to. He washed his face once more to wash away the sweat from his face, changed his now sweat soaked shirt for a new one even though he felt so hot that he really didn’t want to wear anything, and walked downstairs to wait for Jensen in the hallway.

After a minute he sat himself down on the second step of the stairs and leaned sideways to rest his head against the wall.

This is how Jensen found him ten minutes later. “You’re ready to go?” Jensen asked as he walked into the hallway from the living room.

Jared quickly stood up; too quickly apparently, seeing that he needed to reach out for the wall with his left hand to steady himself.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jensen sounded concerned as he made his way to Jared.

However Jared figured he was just being nice, just like he had been these last few days, but Jared was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and felt that having to change his plans because his mate was sick might be that prolific shoe and he would meet the not so nice side of Jensen. Therefore, he waved off Jensen’s concern, stood up straight, and moved to open the front door. Just as his right hand touched the door handle, Jensen grabbed him by his left arm, not squeezing, just holding him at the elbow, but Jared couldn’t help but flinch.

“Come here,” Jensen turned him toward him and pulled him close, “what’s wrong?”

Jensen sounded gentle and his eyes were seemed truly concerned, but Jared looked away. “Nothing.”

Despite his answer, Jensen put his hand on Jared’s forehead. “You’re burning up, and you’re shaking in my arms. You’re sick, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You want to take me to see your friends,” he mumbled to the floor.

Jensen enveloped him into his arms and hugged him. “Not when you’re sick, silly.”

Up until now Jensen had kept his distance, and the most they had touched was during their basketball games, but Jared found that he felt unexpectedly safe in Jensen’s arms, and he was very comfortable, so he returned the hug by winding his long arms around Jensen and closed his eyes.

Regrettably, after a minute Jensen broke the hug, though he left his left arm around Jared’s waist for support. “Let’s get you to bed so that you can rest. My friends can wait, your health is more important to me.”

Jensen helped Jared undress down to his boxers, got him under the covers, and surprised him with a soft kiss on this forehead. After that he left with a whispered, “I’ll be back.” Jared assumed that it would be a few hours from then, if not late at night if he went to hang out with his friends without him.

Jensen, however, came back within five minutes with a bottle of water and aspirins, which he placed on Jared’s night stand. Then he undressed himself, lay down next to Jared on his side and combed his fingers through Jared’s hair until he fell asleep.

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Two days later Jared felt much better, and Jensen was sitting on the bed, waiting for Jared to come out of the bathroom. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, which were starting to make him nauseous. He knew it was time, waiting longer would not make it any easier on either of them. As promised, all they had done for the first week was sleep next to each other, but the week was up and sleeping next to Jared without touching him was starting to take its toll on Jensen. He genuinely liked Jared, more so then he could possibly imagine liking anyone who he had only known for a week after ‘ordering’ him based on a computer file.

The sound of the bathroom door opening announced that Jared was ready for bed. Jensen looked up and stared. Jared was wearing only his boxers, like he did every time he went to sleep, a sight that Jensen felt he would never stop enjoying. While Jared was only sixteen, and as expected, not fully developed yet, he was already striking, and would only get more handsome in the years to come.

Jared seemed to feel the tension in the room and stopped a few feet from the bed.

“Come here,” Jensen said softly, and took Jared’s hand as he came closer to his side of the bed. He gently pulled him to sit on the bed, facing him with only a few inches between them.

Jared looked at him with wide eyes, eyes filled with apprehension, but also some curiosity.

Jensen took a minute to look at him, while he reached out to brush aside a lock of hair that was stubbornly hanging in front of Jared’s left eye. ‘So innocent, so young.’ Jensen silently cursed society and his father for putting him in this position.

He gave Jared a soft smile in an attempt to communicate that it was going to be alright, and moved his hand back to Jared’s face, this time to stroke his jaw with his thumb as he slowly moved in to kiss Jared for the first time.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, and Jared stayed still the whole time, frozen as a sculpture, not responding to Jensen at all. Jensen moved back a bit to gauge Jared’s response, and was disappointed yet not surprised to see that all curiosity had left him and that only fear remained.

Jensen moved back a little more, to give Jared some apparently much needed space. “That was your first kiss?” he asked gently, without judgment.

Jared simply nodded, as if incapable of speech.

“That’s okay, we’ll work on it. For me that was my third kiss, my first one was when I was 14 with a girl who used to live next door. She slapped me in the face in response. And the second kiss, well, the second time I kissed a friend and I ended up with a black eye. So this kiss has actually been my best kiss yet.” Jensen forced himself to stop rambling, seeing that it did not have the desired effect of relaxing Jared. He seemed to be staring through him, still terrified and not really listening to a word he was saying.

“Jared. Jared, look at me.”

Jared blinked and focused on him for a second, then looked down, seeming embarrassed, and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be scared, Jared, we won’t have intercourse today.”

At that Jared’s head shot up. “We won’t?”

And Jensen hated how hopeful he sounded. “No, we won’t. Honestly, I’m not ready for it. You’ve got to remember, I’ve never done this either.”

That got him a little smile from Jared and an “Okay.”

“So, let’s first talk about this. That way we know what each other’s experience is and we’ll be on the same page of what’s going to happen.”

“I’m pure!” Jared said right away, taking what Jensen said as a suggestion that he believed Jared to be otherwise.

“I know you never had sex with anyone before, I always assumed that, and I’m not doubting that, Jared. I’m a virgin too; like you, I would never disgrace my family like that. But, as I said, I have kissed two people before you, and I now know that you have not. What about masturbating, have you done that?”

“No!” Jared shook his head wildly, looking shocked at the question. “Father Joseph insisted that we not touch ourselves; insisted that we stay pure. I’m pure, Jensen, I swear!”

Jensen reached out for Jared’s right hand and let his fingers trace invisible lines across Jared’s palm. “It’s okay, Jared, I believe you. It’s good that you listened to Father Joseph, although to me an absence of sex would have been pure enough. I have no problem with you masturbating, I have done it many times and I enjoy it, so if you want, you may pleasure yourself whenever you are alone and have the time.”

As Jared was listening to him, Jensen had continued playing with his hand and had moved closer. Jared had noticed and was now looking at their joined hands.  His expression was unreadable, but he was biting his bottom lip, and Jensen thought it was absolutely cute and couldn’t wait to kiss him again. But Jensen forced himself to focus on the conversation at hand. Kissing and touching would come soon enough.

“Jared?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you hear and understand what I just told you?”

Jared blushed. “Yes, but… I don’t know if… I mean how…” He sighed in frustration and when he saw Jensen’s smile, which he had been unable to suppress because Jared was just too adorable, he averted his eyes and even more blood rushed to his face.

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, it’s your choice, and the how part you’ll learn soon enough.” At that, Jared looked up sharply, but Jensen continued before Jared could say anything, telling Jared his plan, hoping that Jared wouldn’t freak out. “In a few minutes, we’re going to lie down on the bed, we going to try that kissing again, and hopefully you’ll participate this time. Then we’re going to move on and explore each other’s bodies, through looking, touching, and kissing. All this will go both ways, and we can take as long as we want to.”

Jensen stopped for a minute, letting Jared take it all in, while he moved his fingers further up, now stroking the inside of Jared’s forearm. Jared seemed nervous but not as scared as before, and he nodded his head, though probably without even realizing it, which Jensen took as a sign to continue.

“And, if all this is as pleasurable as everyone says it is,” Jensen continued lightly. “We’ll end with bringing each other off with our hands.”

Jared’s response was to pull away his right arm and move backwards, away from Jensen. But Jensen caught Jared’s arm at the wrist and held on without holding him too tight, not wanting to hurt him, but also not wanting to lose contact.

Without letting go, he finished what he was going to say, “If, at that time, you don’t want to come, I won’t force you.”

*****

Jared looked down at Jensen’s hand that was holding him and felt anger course through him. He knew that Jensen was being considerate by going slow, he knew that he could have been fucked that first night he arrived, but in the end it came down to the same thing. “But I have to please you.” he said, clearly a bit resentful, though he tried to keep his anger at bay, not wanting to make Jensen mad.

Jensen released his wrist and continued stroking his forearm, which really didn’t feel that bad honestly. “Yes, you have to. But if you could give it a chance, you can enjoy this too.”

Part of Jared believed it, or wanted to anyway; Jensen had been good to him so far. Things definitely had not been as bad as he expected them to be. So maybe, just maybe, Jensen was right. But after years of hearing horror stories about how chosen ones were abused and used, and sermons from Father Joseph telling them that they were on Earth to serve and please Princips and not to please themselves, it was hard to believe what Jensen was saying.

“Right,” he said, though he was sure that Jensen could hear in his voice that he wasn’t convinced. “What do you want me to do?”

Jensen silently got up, moved to lie under the covers, and lifted the covers as an invitation for Jared to join him.

He swallowed, took a deep breath, and accepted the invitation he couldn’t refuse. His heart was beating so hard he couldn’t hear what Jensen was saying as he stiffly lay down beside him. Jensen’s hand was on his arm again, this time it was moving up though until he reached his shoulder. He opened his eyes, eyes that he wasn’t even aware of having closed, and saw Jensen leaning half over him just before he moved in to kiss him for a second time.

This time Jensen did not stop the kiss after a few seconds, so Jared surrendered and experimentally moved his lips. Having someone else’s lips on his was a bit strange, but it didn’t feel bad. Actually, it felt kind of tingly, in a good way.

Jensen moved back an inch, giving them both a chance to catch their breath.

“Was that okay?”

Jared nodded, because it wasn’t great or anything, but ‘okay’ was a good description.

Of course that encouraged Jensen to kiss him again, but Jared knew that nothing was going to hinder him anyway.

This time Jensen’s tongue started to lick his bottom lip, asking to be let in. Jared complied and opened his mouth to let Jensen explore.

Now this was strange; their teeth grinded against each other and Jensen’s tongue was all over the place. It tasted like mint toothpaste and something else that Jared couldn’t identify. However, it wasn’t unpleasant, and once they figured out how to make their teeth stay out of it, once they remembered to breathe through their noses, and once Jared started using his own tongue, it started to feel nice and Jared didn’t really want to stop.

Jensen in the meantime had moved them so that they were both lying on their sides, facing each other. And they made out like that for a long time, with only their mouths and Jensen’s hand on Jared’s shoulder, doing nothing but touching.

It couldn’t last of course; Jensen broke the kiss, and moved back far enough to look at him. They were both breathing heavily, and Jensen broke out in a smile. “I think that practice really does make perfect. And we’re both fast learners, because that was good.”

Jared couldn’t help but smile back a little, and he had no desire to argue. He felt Jensen’s eyes on his mouth as he licked his red and swollen lips just before Jensen moved in again for another kiss, but this one didn’t last long. Jensen moved on and kissed a trail from his mouth down to his neck. He guided Jared onto his back, and both his hands started moving up and down his arms.

Jared lay still, not knowing what to do, though he tilted his head a little to give Jensen better access to his neck, because apparently kisses didn’t only feel good when given on his mouth.

Jensen continued, moving his hands to Jared’s sides and started a trail of kisses toward his chest. Instinctively, Jared’s whole body tensed up; his mind going wild with scenarios of what Jensen would do next.

He didn’t get the time to run too many scenarios though, because Jensen had stopped what he was doing the second he felt Jared’s body freeze. He reached up to stroke through Jared’s hair and looked worriedly down at him.

“Did I hurt you in anyway?”

Jared closed his eyes and shook his head. No, Jensen hadn’t hurt him, Jensen hadn’t done much of anything and Jared was already freaking out. ‘How are you going to handle being fucked if you can’t even handle some light petting,’ Jared scolded himself.

Luckily, Jensen was a lot more understanding.

“It’s okay. I was just exploring. You’re gorgeous.”

Jensen gave him a quick peck on his lips, and moved to lie on his back, pulling Jared with him so that his upper body was half on top of him. Jared right away pushed himself up, supporting himself with his arms, just high enough so that their chests were not touching.

Jensen didn’t seem to mind, and just encouraged Jared. “Touch me anywhere you want; explore.”

Jared just stared for a minute, his eyes wandering over Jensen’s naked upper-body. Jensen seemed to be well proportioned everywhere, as far as he could tell anyway, since the covers hid the rest of him and he had yet to see Jensen without his boxers on. Jensen was good-looking. Even Jared knew that. He was well-toned, but not overly so, he had no chest hair, and a flat stomach with a fine line of soft looking hairs leading to… okay. Jared forced himself to stop his line of thoughts and to look up back up at Jensen, who had apparently been watching him the whole time.

Forcing himself to do as Jensen had requested, Jared decided to start with what he knew and go from there. So he shifted his weight onto one arm, leaned over and kissed Jensen. He apparently approved of that plan and enthusiastically kissed him back. In the meantime, Jared used his free hand to caress Jensen’s arm, pleasantly surprised at the smooth skin under his hand. After a little while he moved his hand experimentally over to Jensen’s chest, and Jensen moaned into his mouth as his fingers brushed over a nipple. Jared broke the kiss and brought back his hand to retrace its steps, while looking at Jensen’s reaction. His eyes were closed, and his chest moved up a little toward Jared as if asking for more.

All his apprehension forgotten for the moment, Jared copied Jensen’s earlier steps and kissed a trail down his neck, with the neglected nipple as his end goal, but as he kissed Jensen’s neck he received another moan. And really, it was pretty cool to find all these spots that made Jensen moan. So his hands and mouth explored Jensen’s whole upper-body, finding all of Jensen’s sensitive spots.

“Jared.” Jensen spoke after long minutes of only moaning. “Jared,” he called out again, “You’ve got to stop.”

Jared moved back to lie beside Jensen on his side, not sure why he was being stopped. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, hearing anxiety and confusion in his own voice.

Jensen leaned up to give Jared a kiss. “No, it was great; it’s just… well…” Not knowing how to say it, he lifted up the bed covers, leaving him covered in only boxers that did little to hide his erection.

Jared looked away quickly. “Oh.” He had forgotten about that part.

Jensen lowered the covers, covering himself up, and reached out to grasp Jared’s chin and make him looked at him. “As I said, I want to do this both ways tonight. I want try and find all the sensitive places that make you moan.”

“Okay,” Jared said quietly, and leaned back and tried to relax as Jensen started touching and kissing him.

Jensen took his time, and after a while Jared relaxed some more and it started to feel nice, which made him even more relaxed. Every now and then Jensen would come up to kiss him, which he liked, and after a while he realized that he was becoming hard. It had happened before of course, but it had always been something to be ashamed of and to ignore. Consequently, the imprinted instinct made him freeze up. Again, Jensen stopped what he was doing and seemed concerned.

“What’s wrong?” he asked patiently.

“I… I’m…”

“It’s all right; just tell me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m hard,” Jared whispered and then looked away, not wanting to see the disgust and disappointment in Jensen’s eyes.

Jensen pulled away the covers, and saw that Jared was indeed half erect.

“Jared, look at me, please.”

The ‘please’ surprised Jared and he looked back at Jensen despite his embarrassment. When he did, he was once again surprised; this time because Jensen did not look disgusted or disappointed, he actually looked happy.

“Don’t be embarrassed, this is good Jared,” Jensen explained. “I want you to enjoy sex with me whenever you can.”

Jared was confused, but didn’t argue; he was just glad that Jensen wasn’t angry.

“May I see you, and touch you?”

Jared was about to say no, but for unknown reasons his head wasn’t cooperating, and he nodded yes.

Before he could register what he just gave Jensen permission to do, Jensen had moved onto his knees and was removing Jared’s boxers. And before he knew it, for the first time ever, a hand was wrapped around his cock and the feeling was overwhelming. He could do nothing more than lie there with his eyes closed. But he stayed silent, not daring to express his pleasure, until Jensen used his other hand to fondle his balls. He could no longer restrain himself and he moaned Jensen’s name, his hips moving up to meet Jensen’s hands, and he came; intense pleasure shooting through his whole body.

The next thing he registered was Jensen cleaning him up with a warm, wet cloth.

“Hey, welcome back.” Jensen smiled at him.

Jared just smiled back, not really ready for words yet.

When he was done, Jensen moved up so that he could look at Jared without making him move. He brushed away a few locks of his hair that were stuck to his sweaty brow, and kissed him.

Jared kissed him back slow and sloppy, quite happy to spend the rest of the night where he was.

Unfortunately for him, Jensen had other plans.

“Are you ready to take care of me?”

Puzzled, it took Jared a minute to understand what Jensen was talking about. He lifted his head a little to look at Jensen’s boxers for confirmation, the boxers were indeed, just as he as had anticipated, still tented.

His head dropped back on the pillow and he closed his eyes. He had no idea how to make Jensen feel as good as he had just made him feel, but he nodded his head anyway, knowing that he had to.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes to see Jensen waiting patiently. He made quick work of laying Jensen on his back and sitting next to him on his knees, much like Jensen had done with him.

He lifted the boxers, and Jensen’s cock sprang free before Jared could move the boxers even an inch down. After he got rid of Jensen’s last piece of clothing, Jared couldn’t do anything but stare at the hard, dark red, immense cock in front of him. He’d never looked at one before, not even his own when it was hard.

Forcing himself to keep on going, Jared wound his right hand lightly around Jensen’s cock, afraid of squeezing too tightly. The second he touched Jensen, he heard him suck in a deep breath and Jensen’s cock jumped slightly in his hand.

It felt really strange, but Jensen seemed to like it, therefore he experimentally moved his fist up and down.

“Fuck” Jensen moaned, as he thrust his hips up into Jared’s fist. “More, Jared. Tighter.”

Jared did as told, keeping up his movements, staring at the precome that was leaking out of Jensen’s cock. And not a minute later, Jensen came with his name on lips, shooting his load all over Jared’s hand and his own stomach.

Jared looked from his come-covered hand to Jensen’s face, and he had to admit that the blissed-out look suited him.

Jared got up and walked to the bathroom to wash his hand, since the come felt slimy and sticky, and really just gross. Then, copying Jensen’s previous actions, he took a warm, wet cloth with him to clean Jensen up, before crawling back into bed. Jensen moved closer to him, put his head on Jared’s shoulder, draped his arm around Jared’s waist, and whispered a soft ‘thanks’ before falling asleep.

Sleep was something that eluded Jared though, as he stared at the ceiling, trying to process what just happened, a thousand emotions running through him, too confused to rest until hours later when he fell asleep purely from exhaustion

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Chapter Four