"Wont let the waves wash me away, is what I always pray"
I usually don't beleive in regret, but right now its all I seem to be feeling. Recital last night was absolutely amazing, even the bad parts and I wouldnt trade it for the world. Which makes me wonder why the hell i am going away to school next year. Honestly, when I applied I didn't think I was going to get in. I wasn't serious. I only applied to two schools, mostly to humor my mother. But then I got accepted. The first thing I did when I found out i got in was cry, long and hard.
This may sound mean and horrible, but with the exception of about three people i could leave rhs and never look back. I would be sad but I'll get over it. I don't want to leave rspa. Ever. That place makes me feel so amazing and whole. Being there is home. During the show I kept thinking "oh next year when Im in that class... oh wait" It was the worst feeling in the entire world. There are people there I know from school but arent really in my group of friends, but somehow at dance we click. Last night after the last show in the dressing room Cait made an announcement and everybody clapped for me and gave me hugs and Ive never felt more guilty for leaving anything in my entire life.
I know next year I'm going to be challanged academically more than i will be here in Ridgefield, but I'm already challenged and I love it here. I finally love my life and feel like I belong and I studpidly am i taking it all away from myself.
Maybe I'll hate it and come home, but I really don't know where my life is taking me. I just wish i could go back to last year and turn it all around.
I dig my heels into the dirt
'Cause this one's gonna hurt
Won't let the waves wash me away
Is what I always pray
In my heart I know you couldn't see
In the dark or find your way through me
Now I'm alone, my hands are numb
How do I carry on?
At the turn of the tide
I feel this part of me die
Am I washed on your shore and barely alive?
Now I'm held hostage in my head
With every word you said
God, all those lessons in my past
I spit them out so fast
I see myself with you, I act so small
I see myself with you, I always crawl
So someone leave a raft for me
The water's getting deep
At the turn of the tide
I feel this part of me die
Am I washed on your shore and barely alive?
Here I am in my insecurity
Here I am in my damaged dignity
Here I am, you're pulling me in too deep
Here I am
Here I am, I'm in the mercy seat
Here I am, running without my feet
Here I am, oh what's come over me?
Here I am
When I was melting in your hand
You didn't understand
You slip through me like grains of sand
You still don't understand
Overboard, I'm thrown out to see
What you are and what I mean to me
But I will always have my dream where you can swim to me
At the turn of the tide
I feel this part of me die
I've been on your shore before
And it was no waste of time
Over my head and in my mind
This may sound mean and horrible, but with the exception of about three people i could leave rhs and never look back. I would be sad but I'll get over it. I don't want to leave rspa. Ever. That place makes me feel so amazing and whole. Being there is home. During the show I kept thinking "oh next year when Im in that class... oh wait" It was the worst feeling in the entire world. There are people there I know from school but arent really in my group of friends, but somehow at dance we click. Last night after the last show in the dressing room Cait made an announcement and everybody clapped for me and gave me hugs and Ive never felt more guilty for leaving anything in my entire life.
I know next year I'm going to be challanged academically more than i will be here in Ridgefield, but I'm already challenged and I love it here. I finally love my life and feel like I belong and I studpidly am i taking it all away from myself.
Maybe I'll hate it and come home, but I really don't know where my life is taking me. I just wish i could go back to last year and turn it all around.
I dig my heels into the dirt
'Cause this one's gonna hurt
Won't let the waves wash me away
Is what I always pray
In my heart I know you couldn't see
In the dark or find your way through me
Now I'm alone, my hands are numb
How do I carry on?
At the turn of the tide
I feel this part of me die
Am I washed on your shore and barely alive?
Now I'm held hostage in my head
With every word you said
God, all those lessons in my past
I spit them out so fast
I see myself with you, I act so small
I see myself with you, I always crawl
So someone leave a raft for me
The water's getting deep
At the turn of the tide
I feel this part of me die
Am I washed on your shore and barely alive?
Here I am in my insecurity
Here I am in my damaged dignity
Here I am, you're pulling me in too deep
Here I am
Here I am, I'm in the mercy seat
Here I am, running without my feet
Here I am, oh what's come over me?
Here I am
When I was melting in your hand
You didn't understand
You slip through me like grains of sand
You still don't understand
Overboard, I'm thrown out to see
What you are and what I mean to me
But I will always have my dream where you can swim to me
At the turn of the tide
I feel this part of me die
I've been on your shore before
And it was no waste of time
Over my head and in my mind