Put the Chris back in Christmas, s'il vous plait.
For this is all a dream we dreamed one afternoon, long ago…
Ah, the day after Christmas. I’m going to list presents first.
From Mom:
-The Wall (movie)
-Comfy clothes
-Candle
-Box of manly cosmetics, including after shave, cologne, and fancy deodorant
-Chromatic harmonica
-Can’t think of anything else.
Santa:
-?
Val:
-Orthotics (“Orthoptics” “Orthropods” -Dad, “Orthros” -Val)
-2 gift cards, 45$ total
-Gloves
Ma:
-100 dollars, cold hard currency.
Dad:
-Tennis racquet
-
This is a pretty crummy list, I can’t think of anything else.
OK. On the night before Christmas, all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, except for me, who was clickety-clickzorz on the Biczorsz. Haha, I went downstairs, IMed Deirdre, and wished her marry Christmas, discussed my plans for the night and everything, and then popped a bag of popcorn, heated up some lasagna, and took 2 cans of Diet Coke from the garage, and I walked upstairs, went into my room, shut the door, locked it fast, and opened the window, smoked, discovered that my incense holder was missing(!!!?!!!?!), discovered that there were little cannabis pieces all over my desk, realizing that I would be totally busted if I didn’t clean it up. I swept it into the garbage and smoked MORE, made a makeshift insanely incestuous incense thing, lit a stick of incest, I mean incense, and crashed on the bed. I was totally baked. I ate the lasagna and the popcorn and I drank the soda and I read some of Little Worlds, our middle school short story anthology, but I don’t remember what stories. I thought nice thoughts, but I didn’t write anything down. I’ve been playing with the concept of Infinity, and how hypocritical it is, fucking Infinity. I passed out and opened my presents the next morning. I played like 6 games of Warcraft, family came over, we ate, and we socialized and exchanged gifts. It was a positively poppin’ party. I destroyed Val in chess (he couldn’t really keep his pieces straight he was so shitfaced), and though he begged for a rematch, I had to coldly deny him retribution because Valerie wanted to leave. I gave Val and Grandpa last-minute gifts of alcohol before they left, which they probably liked; you can never see through the smiles.
During the party, Dad kept asking me to sit down and talk with the guys. They were being really annoying, talking about Politics and all. They talked about legalizing Marijuana, and they made it more of a lecture than a conversation. I told dad that I was tired of “being on his leash,” and he was like woah, rhetoric, and he was about to let me go when Grandpa cut in and said “Wow, my mother would have never got away with saying that,” and Val concurred: “Yeah, I would have been spanked for sure if I said that to my folks.” DAMN I had almost escaped! So dad chastised me for being rude and made me stay with them. I asked where my incense holder went. CONFISCATED!!!!
OMG!
Dad said he took it because my room was really messy, and I was burning incense to hide the smell of my dirty clothes. Eew, but that’s not the smell I was hiding O.o XD : ) ;) >0 wink wink. !!!
Ok, I’m tired of updating. The house, and especially my room, is a total mess. I’m gawnna go now.
PS: if you read this entry, could you post a comment? I kind of want to know who reads this.
Oh, Adam figured out my name! Uh oh, I've been a naughty kid, and now he knows.
Ah, the day after Christmas. I’m going to list presents first.
From Mom:
-The Wall (movie)
-Comfy clothes
-Candle
-Box of manly cosmetics, including after shave, cologne, and fancy deodorant
-Chromatic harmonica
-Can’t think of anything else.
Santa:
-?
Val:
-Orthotics (“Orthoptics” “Orthropods” -Dad, “Orthros” -Val)
-2 gift cards, 45$ total
-Gloves
Ma:
-100 dollars, cold hard currency.
Dad:
-Tennis racquet
-
This is a pretty crummy list, I can’t think of anything else.
OK. On the night before Christmas, all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, except for me, who was clickety-clickzorz on the Biczorsz. Haha, I went downstairs, IMed Deirdre, and wished her marry Christmas, discussed my plans for the night and everything, and then popped a bag of popcorn, heated up some lasagna, and took 2 cans of Diet Coke from the garage, and I walked upstairs, went into my room, shut the door, locked it fast, and opened the window, smoked, discovered that my incense holder was missing(!!!?!!!?!), discovered that there were little cannabis pieces all over my desk, realizing that I would be totally busted if I didn’t clean it up. I swept it into the garbage and smoked MORE, made a makeshift insanely incestuous incense thing, lit a stick of incest, I mean incense, and crashed on the bed. I was totally baked. I ate the lasagna and the popcorn and I drank the soda and I read some of Little Worlds, our middle school short story anthology, but I don’t remember what stories. I thought nice thoughts, but I didn’t write anything down. I’ve been playing with the concept of Infinity, and how hypocritical it is, fucking Infinity. I passed out and opened my presents the next morning. I played like 6 games of Warcraft, family came over, we ate, and we socialized and exchanged gifts. It was a positively poppin’ party. I destroyed Val in chess (he couldn’t really keep his pieces straight he was so shitfaced), and though he begged for a rematch, I had to coldly deny him retribution because Valerie wanted to leave. I gave Val and Grandpa last-minute gifts of alcohol before they left, which they probably liked; you can never see through the smiles.
During the party, Dad kept asking me to sit down and talk with the guys. They were being really annoying, talking about Politics and all. They talked about legalizing Marijuana, and they made it more of a lecture than a conversation. I told dad that I was tired of “being on his leash,” and he was like woah, rhetoric, and he was about to let me go when Grandpa cut in and said “Wow, my mother would have never got away with saying that,” and Val concurred: “Yeah, I would have been spanked for sure if I said that to my folks.” DAMN I had almost escaped! So dad chastised me for being rude and made me stay with them. I asked where my incense holder went. CONFISCATED!!!!
OMG!
Dad said he took it because my room was really messy, and I was burning incense to hide the smell of my dirty clothes. Eew, but that’s not the smell I was hiding O.o XD : ) ;) >0 wink wink. !!!
Ok, I’m tired of updating. The house, and especially my room, is a total mess. I’m gawnna go now.
PS: if you read this entry, could you post a comment? I kind of want to know who reads this.
Oh, Adam figured out my name! Uh oh, I've been a naughty kid, and now he knows.