The good, the not so good, and so on...
Last week, I got to meet Matt! That was totally awesome. I'm glad he drove through late so I could see him. It made me happy!
It's June 22. Throughout May, I was pondering doing a memorial here on my journal for someone, but then I decide to wait until today. Why today? Cause it would have been her 29th birthday. When I was in the 4th grade, Renee and I became close friends. We remained close friends all the way up until she passed away. She really was a cool person, with aspirations to be a vet. That's what she said she'd be in 10 years in our 6th grade memory book. Of course, it would have taken a little longer than that, but hey, it was a dream. I doubt she would have diverted from it, too. She loved cats. To the point that, well I had this cat quilt, and she punched my in the arm for poking one of the cats in the eye a few times. It was a hard punch too!
She had her faults, who doesn't? That was rhetorical! She was controlling, she knew she could get her way, and I tended to attract that type until I moved to Denver, at which point, for some reason, I became more of a leader sort and not a follower. She was a clean freak, one of the very few kids I've ever known to be a clean freak. She was amazing at tetherball, partly cause of her height, which was 5'11" in the 6th grade. Of course, it's not all about height. She was the best girl, the best guy was one of the shortest sixth graders. She was looking forward to getting older. I remember playing games like Girl Talk with her. She liked that game a lot.
Then, when I was visiting here after I had spent the 8th grade in Denver, I found out she hadn't been feeling well. I saw her several times that summer, and she was definitely slimming down. Tiny rings could fit on her fingers. We ended up going on a teen cruise on Coeur d'Alene lake in August. It was more fun that I actually expected it to be. I lied to my dad about there being many adults for supervision, but hey, a kid's gotta do what a kid's gotta do sometimes. There were some. I think I actually said Renee's parents would be going. Bad me. Sadly, she didn't seem to have as much fun. She spent almost the entire time in her seat watching out the window of the boat. I tried to at least get her up to walk the first floor so she could get better views of the lake, which is always beautiful, but she'd have none of it. That's when I really started to worry.
She had a hard stomach and no one could find out why. She'd been given several pregnancy tests and other tests, but it was a mystery. I didn't find out until I was a week or so back into school in Denver that she had, of all things, stomach cancer. It was hard to even believe that really, but I held out hope. Then, Mike's birthday of all days, I received the phone call from her mom. I answered the phone, but she asked to talk to my mom. I didn't recognize the voice on the other side of the line until after I gave my mom the phone, but before I heard the news. I knew then what had happened.
She was 14 years old. Today she would have turned 29. She's been gone longer than she lived, since she died only 3 months after her 14th birthday. That's hard to believe, but it's true. It was a hard hit of mortality for me. Wishing Star, an organization that grants wishes of children who are going to die, called me shortly after, and that's when I found out her last wish had been to see me one last time. They obviously didn't manage it in time, but because of that, they paid for me to go to the funeral, which was hard.
We were born eight days apart. My due date was actually the day she was born. We were very often confused for sisters, and we very well could have been sisters, really. She definitely looked more like a sister of mine than Mandy ever did, which is strange, but there it is. I always felt a connection with her. It was very hard to watch all of her dreams just pass on with her just like that.
Finally, a picture. I hope she knows she's still missed, even after almost fifteen years.
My other bit of news is that I got an e-mail from my mom the other day to give me a heads up that she doesn't think my grandma's going to be around much longer. She's pretty much stopped eating and sleeps almost all the time. She's 87 and well, honestly, it's probably getting to about her time. She hasn't been the same since grandpops passed. He doted on her all the time. It was sweet to watch. They were so cool together. It's still sad, of course.
Okay, I'll stop being a downer now! I have encounters to work on. I took a break for this.
It's June 22. Throughout May, I was pondering doing a memorial here on my journal for someone, but then I decide to wait until today. Why today? Cause it would have been her 29th birthday. When I was in the 4th grade, Renee and I became close friends. We remained close friends all the way up until she passed away. She really was a cool person, with aspirations to be a vet. That's what she said she'd be in 10 years in our 6th grade memory book. Of course, it would have taken a little longer than that, but hey, it was a dream. I doubt she would have diverted from it, too. She loved cats. To the point that, well I had this cat quilt, and she punched my in the arm for poking one of the cats in the eye a few times. It was a hard punch too!
She had her faults, who doesn't? That was rhetorical! She was controlling, she knew she could get her way, and I tended to attract that type until I moved to Denver, at which point, for some reason, I became more of a leader sort and not a follower. She was a clean freak, one of the very few kids I've ever known to be a clean freak. She was amazing at tetherball, partly cause of her height, which was 5'11" in the 6th grade. Of course, it's not all about height. She was the best girl, the best guy was one of the shortest sixth graders. She was looking forward to getting older. I remember playing games like Girl Talk with her. She liked that game a lot.
Then, when I was visiting here after I had spent the 8th grade in Denver, I found out she hadn't been feeling well. I saw her several times that summer, and she was definitely slimming down. Tiny rings could fit on her fingers. We ended up going on a teen cruise on Coeur d'Alene lake in August. It was more fun that I actually expected it to be. I lied to my dad about there being many adults for supervision, but hey, a kid's gotta do what a kid's gotta do sometimes. There were some. I think I actually said Renee's parents would be going. Bad me. Sadly, she didn't seem to have as much fun. She spent almost the entire time in her seat watching out the window of the boat. I tried to at least get her up to walk the first floor so she could get better views of the lake, which is always beautiful, but she'd have none of it. That's when I really started to worry.
She had a hard stomach and no one could find out why. She'd been given several pregnancy tests and other tests, but it was a mystery. I didn't find out until I was a week or so back into school in Denver that she had, of all things, stomach cancer. It was hard to even believe that really, but I held out hope. Then, Mike's birthday of all days, I received the phone call from her mom. I answered the phone, but she asked to talk to my mom. I didn't recognize the voice on the other side of the line until after I gave my mom the phone, but before I heard the news. I knew then what had happened.
She was 14 years old. Today she would have turned 29. She's been gone longer than she lived, since she died only 3 months after her 14th birthday. That's hard to believe, but it's true. It was a hard hit of mortality for me. Wishing Star, an organization that grants wishes of children who are going to die, called me shortly after, and that's when I found out her last wish had been to see me one last time. They obviously didn't manage it in time, but because of that, they paid for me to go to the funeral, which was hard.
We were born eight days apart. My due date was actually the day she was born. We were very often confused for sisters, and we very well could have been sisters, really. She definitely looked more like a sister of mine than Mandy ever did, which is strange, but there it is. I always felt a connection with her. It was very hard to watch all of her dreams just pass on with her just like that.
Finally, a picture. I hope she knows she's still missed, even after almost fifteen years.
My other bit of news is that I got an e-mail from my mom the other day to give me a heads up that she doesn't think my grandma's going to be around much longer. She's pretty much stopped eating and sleeps almost all the time. She's 87 and well, honestly, it's probably getting to about her time. She hasn't been the same since grandpops passed. He doted on her all the time. It was sweet to watch. They were so cool together. It's still sad, of course.
Okay, I'll stop being a downer now! I have encounters to work on. I took a break for this.