Apr 06, 2004 00:35
How to put what I'm feeling into words. I dont really know why I'm feeling this way. Anissa is in my life and she is wonderful and she makes me happy every moment i think about her. I dont know, I have sort of hit the all time low phase in college where I really am missing the fact that I had real friends in high school, real people that cared about me. Here it just seems like we are all just a bunch of kids trying to get through everything and no one wants to take the time to really get to know everyone ( unless you are in a frat but then its really pushed ) I mean dont get me wrong everytime I complain about this stuff I feel like I am makeing college seem like its bad. Not at all, I love the freedom and I love the experience and i lvoe learning. Its just that overall I havent found where I belong yet. I hope that sometime soon that happens.
Maybe the reason this feeling is in my tummy/heart is because I just spent a week with a lot of the people I care about and its hard to come back to a place where I really only have one true friend (austin) and like someone told me earlier today. I should be thankful for that one friend and stop complaining. And yeah I should I really really should. I just dont know sometimes. I really just wish I had someone to hold me and hug me while i felt like breaking down. But right now all I have is a slideshow and a bed to sit at. And yeah sometimes thats cool but right now i need a people hug, saturday i will get that, and I will smile again.