Emotion

Jun 10, 2007 19:31

lately, ive used the word love alot, and decided i can feel it, but not describe it. The one person i put myself out there for, the one person i loved, wasnt happy, wasnt content. Im the one to blame. i couldnt cut it, and i know that. We broke up, i put alot into this girl, and stil lcare/love for her. And as far as i know she feels the same.
The cool thing about this whole situation is that, we handled it like mature people. and we are "friends" right now, but i feel the same, im not sure if this is a good thing. But im glad were talking and interacting between ourselves.

I really let this get to me at first, but my emotions now are, if she wants to be with me, then fine, if she doesnt i really am not going to lose sleep over it. And we can still be close...
were on a "break" which puts the whole we might get back together thing in my head, which makes me happy. In the end, thats all i want her and me to be, happy and content. i made a mistake the first time. I know what she wants, i know what to do, and all i can ask for is a second chance, But thats not me, im not going to beg, if we get back into this, i want her to be 100% for it.

Right now im getting my life together, driving, credit, getting out of high school. and im doing it for two people, myself and her, so maybe we can be back together, if not then thats fine, im happy with what were doing. I would be really happy and content, if i had someone to love back, but thats whats hurts....is i dont.

i wanna say alot, but i hold back, becuase i dont know if she wants to hear. We agreed not to see other people, and i can say im happy about that, i jsut hope she hold up her end of the deal. Im not untrustworthy, i do trust her, i just hope she cares enough to hold back.

Im very paranoid, and this is something that REALLY bothers me, cause i know it gets on her nerves, but sometimes i cant help it. Like i said i dont NOT trust her, i just dont like being let down.

Basiclly im willing to work it out, and i know if we do get back together it will be a millions times better, and not make the same mistakes. But if not shes an amazing girl. Theres more i can say, but ill stop there

lets see what else is going on, tommarow is my last day of regular school, and im excited, i have summer school to go too, but thats not gunna be a big deal, i have some work to do, but im so close that i want to make this happen, for me and my mom. I cant wait to make her happy when i graduate. Ill feel like a half decent son if i do.

Bands are doing ok, feeding frenzy should have practice this week for a show we have this weekend, im excited cause we get to play the new stuff and i get to do one of my favorite things, and thats perform on stage, nothing i like more is to give people a good time, and make them feel like they got what they paid for, or didnt haha.
i practiced with this new band so far its me, anthony,eric sheldon,fes and were getting a new drummer. im excited cause this is a new style were trying, think strife meets youth of today with maybe a lil D-beat styling. im singing and everyone thinks my voice will sound good with the style.

Thats it for now...
With Love
-Chris
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