There's Always Something
I will be honest... this is going to be extremely melancholy in nature. I am convinced that happiness on any level will never hit me. Just when something good happens in my life, something undermines that events ability to make me happy.
The one thing that fear more than anything else is my own ability (both intentionally and unintentionally) to disappoint and hurt others. I could make a very very long list of people that fit into one of those two categories. Every time something good happens, it seems almost immediately I end up hurting or disappointing someone, and in turn, I end up feeling like shit afterward because the one thing I want more than anything else is to avoid hurting people. This is not supposed to be a balanced equation. If I am doing things right, shouldn't the good I do outweigh the bad, especially given my desire to lead a good and morally driven life?
Maybe I'll just do everyone a favor and lock myself in my room and see if things work out.
The one thing that fear more than anything else is my own ability (both intentionally and unintentionally) to disappoint and hurt others. I could make a very very long list of people that fit into one of those two categories. Every time something good happens, it seems almost immediately I end up hurting or disappointing someone, and in turn, I end up feeling like shit afterward because the one thing I want more than anything else is to avoid hurting people. This is not supposed to be a balanced equation. If I am doing things right, shouldn't the good I do outweigh the bad, especially given my desire to lead a good and morally driven life?
Maybe I'll just do everyone a favor and lock myself in my room and see if things work out.