numb...
i wish i was really numb, that i couldn't feel any pain at all and that i could just go through life like a robot not feeling anything at all. But i'm only human and because of that i feel every little pain through my body so bad that it's killing me on the inside.
i was dry heaving and gagging into the toilet this morning, i didn't throw up because i had nothing in my stomach to throw up. i feel pain in my chest, pain in my head, pain everywhere and i can't stop it from creeping up on me no matter how hard i try. My eyes are constantly watery because i have been crying non stop since last night. i got up around 12 am in the morning because i could not sleep and i was gagging and dry heaving all night. My mom didn't even want me to go to school.
i keep trying to tell myself that i need to keep going, that i need to be strong, i need to try but this pain hurts so bad it's all i can feel.