(no subject)
You wanna know something. I am losing interest in working. I really am like fine with the work but I have no free time any more. and I kinda hate it. I mean I do well with the school work and the working but i am not like happy about all of it. I mean school wowho way to go. I am doing fine not bad at all. I mean 88 on pysch bio is good. math I did bad at but we drop the lowest test. english needs some more work and I need to get more time to work on my paintings. I just don't get what I am doing wrong with my paintings. I also take so long to do them and I still don't like them. I feel like my work looks childish and can't get over that. I'm not learning anything in that class. hes not teaching us anything just basically telling us what to do to make the work better and I don't know how. I mean I hear what he says and understand but nothing happens to fix it. WHY DO I SUCK AT LIFE. idk if I can take all of it. but I want the money because I wanna be able to pay for college and not have my parents pay for some and then get screwed when I get out of school. I just don't know. I mean my parents would be fine if I quit working but I wouldn't. well I got to get into stding I really need to. I need to find time to work but I got classes everyday and then working till like 8pm each day doesn't leave much time. idk maybe I was just meant to fail at life. probly god has fucked with me the whole time. I love psychology idk why. I just like people I mean I never see any and I rarely talk but when II am included in the gruop even if just listening to people talk I learn I understand. its amazing. lifes a game of people and psychology will help me to win. lol or at least survive. I don't think I am cut out for college. I mean if I was doing both college and high school I would be fine. but I'm not. I hate college the whole scheduling kills me, I need to be in school longer then this. I need a high school sturcture and thats not going to happen again. damn you fucked up world. college is suppose to be great but it isn't. I am never going to have the best years of my life till I'm like old. like a thousand cuz I'll live that long. and so I am really feeling overwhelmed. and idk what to do about it. I just don't know. anyone can help? can anyone help?