What's Going On?

[british_watcher]

Who: Giles, Buffy, and Faith
Where: Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Dawn's Place
When: After the whole 'accidentally killing a slayer' debacle
Status: Complete :)

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[theslayer_buffy]

Buffy watched as Faith left the room, nodding slightly to her before folding her hands in her lap. She was prepared for the scolding and disapproval of a lifetime. She waited, listening to Giles' words. But, it never came.

Even after everything, there was understanding. And even forgiveness. Her brow crinkled, not sure she wanted this reaction. Shouldn't she be punished? Shouldn't she be carted off to the nearest Watcher jail? Not that she would go willingly, but still. She just couldn't believe that everyone was taking it so well.

"It's not…my fault?" she repeated the words softly, still confused by his understanding.

"You're right," she said after a long pause. "But, I still feel just awful. I can't stop picturing what happened," she reached up and rubbed her eyes, as though that would make the image disappear. "I know she was attacking us, but she was a Slayer. I made her that way. Because I made Willow do the spell, she was forced to be a Slayer and went all nutso. Not all people can handle it…and I wanted to help her," she sighed, not intending for that all to come spilling out, but it was definitely the root of her guilt.

[british_watcher]

"No, it's not your fault, Buffy," he said, shaking his head. And yet, he could understand why she would take something like this onto her shoulders. When he had been in a similar situation, he had done the same, all but running back to the Council, wrapping himself in the traditions and layers of tweed, and pretending he was someone else. It had truthfully taken him years to have more of an understanding of what had happened and what he should feel.

"If you didn't feel awful about it, you wouldn't be human, Buffy," he pointed out to her. "Just because you were justified doesn't mean that you will necessarily feel great about what ended up happening." Especially since the girl had been made a Slayer by Buffy's decision to enact them all. "The judgment to activate all the Slayers was one that had to be made, Buffy. We wouldn't have survived with just you and Faith and a bunch of regular girls." Sad but true. The lot of them had barely survived, anyway.

"I know you wanted to help her, so did I," Giles admitted to her. "We chased her across the country in an effort to make her understand what was going on." He sighed. "Faith and I both tried to talk to her, but all she did was run some more. It wasn't that she didn't believe or even that she couldn't handle what we were telling her. She liked the idea of being strong, but wanted to use it for her own benefit."

He looked away. "She's not the first who rejected the idea of being a Slayer. She's certainly not the first to attack people." Faith wasn't even the first to do that. "Even if she had been called as a Slayer in the old way, I think her reaction would have been the same. Her reaction had nothing to do with the spell you had Willow cast, Buffy."

[theslayer_buffy]

Buffy hated when he was right. She always did. She wanted him to be pissed at her, to give her some sort of timeout punishment. But, of course, Giles was annoyingly kind and understand. Hell, he was trying to make her feel better about killing someone.

She wondered if Faith had felt the same after Buffy tried to tell her it wasn't her fault for killing that man. But, there was a difference. Buffy cared and said so, while Faith pretended not to care. And Buffy was a bit less stubborn. So, maybe she should just accept it and move on?

Even if she did, she knew she'd still see the dead girl in her dreams. But, eventually that too would fade. The incident would become a distant memory. These thoughts filled her as Giles comforting words continued. "So, maybe it's better this way," she thought sadly. She remembered the mental patient that had become a slayer in Los Angeles and wondered if it would have been better or more merciful to end her life, instead of continue keeping her locked up for her own good.

"I guess I didn't really think of the consequences when I had Will do the spell," she said, "I just assumed, Poof! All the potentials are slayers and we'll all come together to save the world and lalala all would be right with the puppies and kittens." She sighed, "I guess I overlooked the whole potential criminally insane and mentally insane people that might be slayers."

[british_watcher]

He actually knew that she would prefer some sort of punishment, or to at least be told that she was wrong or something. For two people that had been mostly estranged from one another for a few years now, they still understood each other far too well for it to be real. Faith was right about one thing: their bond could never truly be broken. Even if they weren't able to talk to one another at any one time.

"Better may be a strong word, but it's a situation that I think would have come up if it were you, Xander, or Faith going there, or Faith and myself going there on our own," he admitted to her. He hated that this girl just wasn't properly cut out to be a Slayer. To even put it that way felt like he was dismissing it too quickly, but it was true. Every potential was not necessarily made to be a Slayer. Dana, the mental patient, had shown just how true that was before.

"Even if there was still the old line of Slayers, the line could have passed to any girl that had mental problems," Giles told her. "It's happened before. The Council would just find a way to get the girl out of wherever she was being kept and keep her on a very tight leash. It still didn't usually work out." He had grown to dislike even talking about the old Council, considering what all they did for the 'greater good.' He knew for sure that they would have tried to use Dana, or worse, just 'put her down' in an effort to get a Slayer that was more controllable and predictable.

"At the time, that was the best idea that could have been come up with." Many more people would have died if they hadn't activated all of the Slayers. None of them may have survived long enough to get out of there.

[theslayer_buffy]

Her brow crinkled as she listened to Giles. All of this was definitely making sense. If it wasn't this Slayer having issues, then it could be another and another. And like he said, it had happened in the past, where a Slayer was called, naturally, but had too many mental issues to be a Slayer.

Buffy couldn't blame those girls. The nightmares were enough to drive anyone insane. She still had them. She still woke in a cold sweat sure that the Master was coming back and prepared to kill her all over again.

"It just sucks that the Slayer line couldn't be more selective or something," she said, "But, I guess no one can know how a person is going to turn out." She couldn't' help thinking of Faith, who had killed people, but overcome it in the end. Unfortunately, the Slayer she had killed was probably too far gone for any sort of rehabilitation.

She offered Giles a slight smile, "Thanks, Giles. I really mean that," she said. "I really don't deserve any sort of comfort for all this, but I do feel better. I hope you hang around a bit longer. I'm going to call a Scooby meeting later tonight, if you're up for it."

(OOC: We can probably call it done, unless you want to end it.)