(no subject)
Title: Texts From 3AM
Author: Krissy
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Finn, Sam (Sam/Finn, implied Sam/Blaine, implied Kurt/Finn, mention of canon pairings)
Author Notes: This is my second Glee fanfic, but this one makes me nervous. Tell me if I suck at writing either of them?
Warning: Spoilers up until 2x10
Disclaimer: Glee isn't mine. If it was, things would be so different.
r u awkae?
Finn groaned, blindly reaching over and grasping for his cell phone, belatedly wishing he'd remembered to turn it off when he'd gone to bed.
now i am.
He wasn't trying to be bitter in his reply. But he was tired, and sleep hadn't been coming very well the last few days. The breakup with Rachel had been weighing heavily on his mind. He'd been feeling an alternate feeling of guilt and justice. He wasn't ready to forgive her, but at the same time...
It was Christmas. Time for forgiveness. And after Burt's health issues a few months ago, he'd learned you could say 'goodbye' at any moment. It wasn't worth fighting with someone.
o, srry. i just need 2 tlk. u busy?
Finn snorted, staring at the text. Sam was the worst person at texting. Even worse than him, and that was saying something.
nah, i was just sleeping. not busy at all.
There was a pause.
sorry. i'll talk 2 u later
Finn groaned. Seriously, what was wrong with Sam? He didn't have the patience for this at - he glanced over at his alarm clock, wincing - 3 am in the morning.
it's cool. call me, sam.
thx, finn.
Finn rolled his eyes and sat up, waiting for his phone to ring. It only took about five seconds for Sam's name to blink across the screen to the music of some boring musical Rachel had chosen for him. He'd have to remember to change that in the morning.
"What's up, dude?" Finn asked, not waiting for Sam to greet him.
There was silence. For at least another twenty seconds. Finn listened to Sam's awkward breathing and couldn't help a twinge of worry. Sam wasn't the most talkative person, but he wasn't this big on silences, either.
"Sam?"
There was the sound of Sam swallowing, and a softer sigh, "I just needed to talk to someone. I... I broke up with Quinn earlier."
"What?" Finn's eyes went wide and he removed the phone from his ear just so he could look at it a little disbelieving. He'd given her a ring. A ring. What was he doing, breaking up with her?
"I ended stuff. She and I - wasn't working."
"You guys were perfect. What's up with that?"
"It was all a lie."
If Finn hadn't been holding the phone so close to his ear, he would have missed the words, they were spoken so softly. The way they looked at each other seemed pretty real to Finn.
"I don't understand?"
"I... was using her."
Finn winced. Then he felt the first twinge of anger to Sam. It had taken him and Quinn a long time to get back to being friends. Finn was no longer in love with her, but a part of him would always love her. And no one hurt his friends.
"You better explain yourself quickly here, Evans."
He was met with silence, and Finn was about to open his mouth to demand answers, when Sam spoke.
"I'm gay."
Finn opened and closed his mouth a couple times.
"Oh."
"Yeah. 'Oh.' I like someone else, but that's not important. I thought being popular was all it took. That I could hide myself and not care about other things. It doesn't. You guys made me realize that. That stuff? With Artie? That's what this is all about. Miracles. And friends. Having people to share this with. Counting on someone. Loving someone. Being real."
They'd taught all that to Sam in a week? It seemed a little surreal to Finn, but if that's what he said, well...
"You going to say anything?"
Finn shook himself out of his stupor, "Kurt's gay," he said, unhelpfully. Finn felt really stupid right then. Just because Kurt was gay didn't mean Sam would hook up with him.
Finn was still trying to process the whole 'Sam is gay' thing.
"Dude, just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I'm going to like Kurt." Sam's voice sounded a little disgusted.
"Kurt's cool," Finn said, sharply. And Sam's quick inhale must've reminded him of how he'd sounded.
"No, I know. Sorry. He's just - not my type. I'm not into that musical stuff. I like sports. And my comic books. I'm not - you know... like a girl?"
Finn opened and closed his mouth, then shook it off. He wasn't going to try and correct him again. Sam was a good guy - so he'd thought until tonight, anyway - and he didn't mean to insult Kurt. Finn didn't know how to describe Kurt sometimes. 'Girly' was definitely better than the word he'd used the year before. He winced at the internal memory. Not his finer moment, he knew.
"Uh, right. Yeah."
"You hate me now, don't you?"
Sam sounded so miserable.
"Of course not!" Finn didn't understand how he could think that. Sam had just thrown him. Plus, part of Finn thought gay meant someone like... Kurt. Which now, talking to Sam about it, knew it didn't mean that at all. "I could never hate you, man. We're friends."
"Good. I was worried."
Finn thought it was funny that Sam really had sounded worried. But the idea that he wasn't anything like Kurt kept nagging at him. He was just like Finn. Video games and sports. Sam liked comic books. But he did have that weird obsession with the Avatar film. And trying to convince Finn that learning Na'vi would help him score chicks. Quinn had barely tolerated it, so why would anyone else?
"So, who do you like?"
"I - what?"
"Before," Finn said, patiently, grateful for the change of topic. He had to grasp at anything now. "You said you like someone. Is it Puck?" he was teasing and at Sam's choked gasp, he knew he was succeeding.
"Uh, no way," Sam said. He sounded - stunned at the idea. Finn laughed. "Nah, dude. I don't like anyone."
"But you said --"
"You were mistaken," Sam said, firmly.
Finn huffed, "Dude, no I wasn't. You can tell me. I won't judge you. As long as it isn't me," he tried to joke. The silence was deafening. "Uh, Sam?"
"Um. I gotta go. Thanks for talking with me, Finn. It helped. I'll see you at school tomorrow."
Sam hung up before Finn could say anything. Finn ended the conversation angrily and he stared at the text Sam had sent before the actual phone call. He'd just been joking - but was it true? Did Sam like Finn? The idea wasn't quite as awkward as it had been with Kurt. Kurt had tried to change him. Change his clothes, change his room, change his interests. Sam didn't do that to him. Sam was just Sam. Sports-loving, horrible-at-gaming Sam.
ur a coward, sam.
He wondered if he'd get a response. He did.
leave me alone finn
not until we talk!
nothin 2 say 2 u
you can't just say that and expect me not 2 say anything!
Finn didn't know how to explain all of this over texting. He had too much to say. He couldn't say it in the little text boxes.
He dialed Sam's number, waiting for him to pick up. Finally, he did, but Sam didn't say a word. Finn just listened to his breathing. It sounded like he'd been crying.
"Are you crying?"
Sam didn't say anything at first, but he let out a soft, shuttering sound, "No."
"Sounds like you are."
"Shut up, Finn!" Sam's voice came out in an angry burst and Finn nearly dropped his phone in surprise. "I just came out to my best friend and told him I like him. Of course I'm not crying."
"Dude, no reason to get sarcastic."
"Whatever. I know what happened with Kurt last year. I'm just. Going to save us both the trouble and not talk to you anymore. I'm not going to hang around when I'm not wanted."
"How'd you find out about that?" Finn still felt guilty when thinking about Kurt and the way he'd treated him.
"I'm friends with Kurt."
Finn was surprised. "Uh - you are?"
Sam made a soft 'mhm' sound and sighed, "When he left for Dalton's. I - used to go there. Thought I'd give him some advice on a mutual friend."
"Blaine?"
"Yeah. I used to --" he paused, "date him. Before. When I was terrified and we weren't what each other needed. But he and Kurt - they will be awesome, if they both stop being so damn shy and make a move."
"Is that how you know Kurt isn't your type?" Finn wondered. Things made sense now.
"Yeah. Blaine likes - tolerates - football, mainly because I forced him into watching too many games, but he... likes musicals. And fashion. And probably has a Vogue magazine collection to rival Kurt's."
Finn smiled at the mental image.
"He sounds like Kurt 2.0."
Sam laughed, "Yeah, I guess. But he's nowhere near as vocal as Kurt. Things have happened to him." Sam went quiet, "But that's not my story to tell. But yeah. Just. I'm glad you're gonna talk to me still, but we should go."
"Go where?" Finn blurted.
"Uh, to bed? It's after 3. I first texted you almost an hour ago."
Finn glanced at the clock. Oh, it was almost four. Finn always forgot how easy it was to talk to Sam.
"Right. I. Man. Sam?" Finn hesitated, knowing if he ended their call, things were going to be awkward the next day. He was glad it was saturday, but they were having a special Glee meeting, to talk about upcoming plans for Christmas break. Schuester was still planning the caroling for the whole break, despite how swell it had gone on at school.
"Finn?" Sam prompted. Finn stayed silent, and Sam sighed.
"Look, Sam. I don't know what to say." Sam inhaled, and started to speak, but Finn cut him off. "Kurt's the only gay dude I've ever met. Besides Rachel's dads, but they are old, and always made sure not to do stuff in front of me. So Kurt's the only gay kid. And he's cool, and he's my brother now, but I remember what it was like last year." He paused, thinking about things from the last year. "Everything was happening. Quinn, the baby, Puck. Then Kurt, and our parents, and Rachel." His voice was pained when he mentioned Rachel's name. "It all. Exploded."
"Sorry." Sam didn't sound very sorry, but Finn knew he was. They were both tired and confused, and stressed.
"I just - I've only liked girls. Kurt's like a girl, but very much a boy, and it freaked me out some last year. He was all over the idea of getting me, wanting me to - be like him. And I couldn't be. I can't. But you.."
"What are you even saying?" Sam interrupted. He sounded confused. Probably as confused as Finn felt. "Because I'm."
"I'm just saying. You're different. You don't try and make me like you. I'm already like you. I never thought someone like us could be... gay."
"Way to live up to stereotypes," Sam replied, sarcastically.
"I didn't know! We live in Lima. Being in the chess club is cool here. Things are backwards."
"Tell me about it," Sam muttered, and Finn chuckled.
"Just - give me time to think about this. This is new."
Sam swallowed, and Finn hated knowing he was the cause of Sam's sadness. What did that say about him? Finn wondered.
"Yeah. Sure."
Finn thought about just hanging the phone up, but something made him pause. He wasn't sure what that was, but he licked his lips, already lost in thought. It wasn't awkward when he finally spoke. Not like he thought it would or could be.
"Halo marathon after Glee tomorrow?"
"Only if you're prepared to lose."
Finn laughed. "Dude. You suck. I only tolerate you because you get the geeky gamers to help us out."
"What?" Sam sounded outraged. Finn smiled as they got back into their usual groove. "I'm awesome. I'm better than Puck at this game."
"Rachel's better than Puck," Finn deadpanned, and at Sam's laugh, something loosened in Finn's chest altogether. It was a warm, good feeling. Like he got with Rachel. Only... comfortable. "So, see you tomorrow. And no more 3 am calls, yeah?"
"Unless I come up with amazing, to die for Halo strategy."
Finn laughed. "Good night, Evans. Only in your dreams."
Author: Krissy
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Finn, Sam (Sam/Finn, implied Sam/Blaine, implied Kurt/Finn, mention of canon pairings)
Author Notes: This is my second Glee fanfic, but this one makes me nervous. Tell me if I suck at writing either of them?
Warning: Spoilers up until 2x10
Disclaimer: Glee isn't mine. If it was, things would be so different.
r u awkae?
Finn groaned, blindly reaching over and grasping for his cell phone, belatedly wishing he'd remembered to turn it off when he'd gone to bed.
now i am.
He wasn't trying to be bitter in his reply. But he was tired, and sleep hadn't been coming very well the last few days. The breakup with Rachel had been weighing heavily on his mind. He'd been feeling an alternate feeling of guilt and justice. He wasn't ready to forgive her, but at the same time...
It was Christmas. Time for forgiveness. And after Burt's health issues a few months ago, he'd learned you could say 'goodbye' at any moment. It wasn't worth fighting with someone.
o, srry. i just need 2 tlk. u busy?
Finn snorted, staring at the text. Sam was the worst person at texting. Even worse than him, and that was saying something.
nah, i was just sleeping. not busy at all.
There was a pause.
sorry. i'll talk 2 u later
Finn groaned. Seriously, what was wrong with Sam? He didn't have the patience for this at - he glanced over at his alarm clock, wincing - 3 am in the morning.
it's cool. call me, sam.
thx, finn.
Finn rolled his eyes and sat up, waiting for his phone to ring. It only took about five seconds for Sam's name to blink across the screen to the music of some boring musical Rachel had chosen for him. He'd have to remember to change that in the morning.
"What's up, dude?" Finn asked, not waiting for Sam to greet him.
There was silence. For at least another twenty seconds. Finn listened to Sam's awkward breathing and couldn't help a twinge of worry. Sam wasn't the most talkative person, but he wasn't this big on silences, either.
"Sam?"
There was the sound of Sam swallowing, and a softer sigh, "I just needed to talk to someone. I... I broke up with Quinn earlier."
"What?" Finn's eyes went wide and he removed the phone from his ear just so he could look at it a little disbelieving. He'd given her a ring. A ring. What was he doing, breaking up with her?
"I ended stuff. She and I - wasn't working."
"You guys were perfect. What's up with that?"
"It was all a lie."
If Finn hadn't been holding the phone so close to his ear, he would have missed the words, they were spoken so softly. The way they looked at each other seemed pretty real to Finn.
"I don't understand?"
"I... was using her."
Finn winced. Then he felt the first twinge of anger to Sam. It had taken him and Quinn a long time to get back to being friends. Finn was no longer in love with her, but a part of him would always love her. And no one hurt his friends.
"You better explain yourself quickly here, Evans."
He was met with silence, and Finn was about to open his mouth to demand answers, when Sam spoke.
"I'm gay."
Finn opened and closed his mouth a couple times.
"Oh."
"Yeah. 'Oh.' I like someone else, but that's not important. I thought being popular was all it took. That I could hide myself and not care about other things. It doesn't. You guys made me realize that. That stuff? With Artie? That's what this is all about. Miracles. And friends. Having people to share this with. Counting on someone. Loving someone. Being real."
They'd taught all that to Sam in a week? It seemed a little surreal to Finn, but if that's what he said, well...
"You going to say anything?"
Finn shook himself out of his stupor, "Kurt's gay," he said, unhelpfully. Finn felt really stupid right then. Just because Kurt was gay didn't mean Sam would hook up with him.
Finn was still trying to process the whole 'Sam is gay' thing.
"Dude, just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I'm going to like Kurt." Sam's voice sounded a little disgusted.
"Kurt's cool," Finn said, sharply. And Sam's quick inhale must've reminded him of how he'd sounded.
"No, I know. Sorry. He's just - not my type. I'm not into that musical stuff. I like sports. And my comic books. I'm not - you know... like a girl?"
Finn opened and closed his mouth, then shook it off. He wasn't going to try and correct him again. Sam was a good guy - so he'd thought until tonight, anyway - and he didn't mean to insult Kurt. Finn didn't know how to describe Kurt sometimes. 'Girly' was definitely better than the word he'd used the year before. He winced at the internal memory. Not his finer moment, he knew.
"Uh, right. Yeah."
"You hate me now, don't you?"
Sam sounded so miserable.
"Of course not!" Finn didn't understand how he could think that. Sam had just thrown him. Plus, part of Finn thought gay meant someone like... Kurt. Which now, talking to Sam about it, knew it didn't mean that at all. "I could never hate you, man. We're friends."
"Good. I was worried."
Finn thought it was funny that Sam really had sounded worried. But the idea that he wasn't anything like Kurt kept nagging at him. He was just like Finn. Video games and sports. Sam liked comic books. But he did have that weird obsession with the Avatar film. And trying to convince Finn that learning Na'vi would help him score chicks. Quinn had barely tolerated it, so why would anyone else?
"So, who do you like?"
"I - what?"
"Before," Finn said, patiently, grateful for the change of topic. He had to grasp at anything now. "You said you like someone. Is it Puck?" he was teasing and at Sam's choked gasp, he knew he was succeeding.
"Uh, no way," Sam said. He sounded - stunned at the idea. Finn laughed. "Nah, dude. I don't like anyone."
"But you said --"
"You were mistaken," Sam said, firmly.
Finn huffed, "Dude, no I wasn't. You can tell me. I won't judge you. As long as it isn't me," he tried to joke. The silence was deafening. "Uh, Sam?"
"Um. I gotta go. Thanks for talking with me, Finn. It helped. I'll see you at school tomorrow."
Sam hung up before Finn could say anything. Finn ended the conversation angrily and he stared at the text Sam had sent before the actual phone call. He'd just been joking - but was it true? Did Sam like Finn? The idea wasn't quite as awkward as it had been with Kurt. Kurt had tried to change him. Change his clothes, change his room, change his interests. Sam didn't do that to him. Sam was just Sam. Sports-loving, horrible-at-gaming Sam.
ur a coward, sam.
He wondered if he'd get a response. He did.
leave me alone finn
not until we talk!
nothin 2 say 2 u
you can't just say that and expect me not 2 say anything!
Finn didn't know how to explain all of this over texting. He had too much to say. He couldn't say it in the little text boxes.
He dialed Sam's number, waiting for him to pick up. Finally, he did, but Sam didn't say a word. Finn just listened to his breathing. It sounded like he'd been crying.
"Are you crying?"
Sam didn't say anything at first, but he let out a soft, shuttering sound, "No."
"Sounds like you are."
"Shut up, Finn!" Sam's voice came out in an angry burst and Finn nearly dropped his phone in surprise. "I just came out to my best friend and told him I like him. Of course I'm not crying."
"Dude, no reason to get sarcastic."
"Whatever. I know what happened with Kurt last year. I'm just. Going to save us both the trouble and not talk to you anymore. I'm not going to hang around when I'm not wanted."
"How'd you find out about that?" Finn still felt guilty when thinking about Kurt and the way he'd treated him.
"I'm friends with Kurt."
Finn was surprised. "Uh - you are?"
Sam made a soft 'mhm' sound and sighed, "When he left for Dalton's. I - used to go there. Thought I'd give him some advice on a mutual friend."
"Blaine?"
"Yeah. I used to --" he paused, "date him. Before. When I was terrified and we weren't what each other needed. But he and Kurt - they will be awesome, if they both stop being so damn shy and make a move."
"Is that how you know Kurt isn't your type?" Finn wondered. Things made sense now.
"Yeah. Blaine likes - tolerates - football, mainly because I forced him into watching too many games, but he... likes musicals. And fashion. And probably has a Vogue magazine collection to rival Kurt's."
Finn smiled at the mental image.
"He sounds like Kurt 2.0."
Sam laughed, "Yeah, I guess. But he's nowhere near as vocal as Kurt. Things have happened to him." Sam went quiet, "But that's not my story to tell. But yeah. Just. I'm glad you're gonna talk to me still, but we should go."
"Go where?" Finn blurted.
"Uh, to bed? It's after 3. I first texted you almost an hour ago."
Finn glanced at the clock. Oh, it was almost four. Finn always forgot how easy it was to talk to Sam.
"Right. I. Man. Sam?" Finn hesitated, knowing if he ended their call, things were going to be awkward the next day. He was glad it was saturday, but they were having a special Glee meeting, to talk about upcoming plans for Christmas break. Schuester was still planning the caroling for the whole break, despite how swell it had gone on at school.
"Finn?" Sam prompted. Finn stayed silent, and Sam sighed.
"Look, Sam. I don't know what to say." Sam inhaled, and started to speak, but Finn cut him off. "Kurt's the only gay dude I've ever met. Besides Rachel's dads, but they are old, and always made sure not to do stuff in front of me. So Kurt's the only gay kid. And he's cool, and he's my brother now, but I remember what it was like last year." He paused, thinking about things from the last year. "Everything was happening. Quinn, the baby, Puck. Then Kurt, and our parents, and Rachel." His voice was pained when he mentioned Rachel's name. "It all. Exploded."
"Sorry." Sam didn't sound very sorry, but Finn knew he was. They were both tired and confused, and stressed.
"I just - I've only liked girls. Kurt's like a girl, but very much a boy, and it freaked me out some last year. He was all over the idea of getting me, wanting me to - be like him. And I couldn't be. I can't. But you.."
"What are you even saying?" Sam interrupted. He sounded confused. Probably as confused as Finn felt. "Because I'm."
"I'm just saying. You're different. You don't try and make me like you. I'm already like you. I never thought someone like us could be... gay."
"Way to live up to stereotypes," Sam replied, sarcastically.
"I didn't know! We live in Lima. Being in the chess club is cool here. Things are backwards."
"Tell me about it," Sam muttered, and Finn chuckled.
"Just - give me time to think about this. This is new."
Sam swallowed, and Finn hated knowing he was the cause of Sam's sadness. What did that say about him? Finn wondered.
"Yeah. Sure."
Finn thought about just hanging the phone up, but something made him pause. He wasn't sure what that was, but he licked his lips, already lost in thought. It wasn't awkward when he finally spoke. Not like he thought it would or could be.
"Halo marathon after Glee tomorrow?"
"Only if you're prepared to lose."
Finn laughed. "Dude. You suck. I only tolerate you because you get the geeky gamers to help us out."
"What?" Sam sounded outraged. Finn smiled as they got back into their usual groove. "I'm awesome. I'm better than Puck at this game."
"Rachel's better than Puck," Finn deadpanned, and at Sam's laugh, something loosened in Finn's chest altogether. It was a warm, good feeling. Like he got with Rachel. Only... comfortable. "So, see you tomorrow. And no more 3 am calls, yeah?"
"Unless I come up with amazing, to die for Halo strategy."
Finn laughed. "Good night, Evans. Only in your dreams."