DUDE
Once again, I believe that I might have the chance to actually hang out with my boyfriend and what happens? WE DONT! Why am I so stupid to keep thinking that we might actually get to see eachother? I am shutting my phone off today, I dont want to talk to him, I dont want to keep telling myself that he is going to want to see me, that he misses me, when really, who knows if he really does? So I am tired of always being the one who is making the effort to always want to hang out. I dont ditch him (not anymore) and I keep thinking in the back of my mind, that maybe he is doing this because of the way that I acted a really long time ago. When I used to say that I was going to hang out and I never did. I made a mistake, yeah, but I am not like that anymore. So whatever, he can act gay! I am just getting used to it. I dont think he realizes that he can lose me just as quick as he won me back. I am tired of playing games. I am not a little kid anymore. All I want is a serious relationship with someone that ACTUALLY cares about me. And lately, I havent felt cared about...at all. But ya know what? I know that there are people out there that care about me. I know that for a fact...but no...I love Kevin..I love him so much and he is just so blind. ANYWAY! I have to work at Applebees this morning ONLY thank goodness. I am going to go home and nap, I have been working my butt off all week. Then after a nap, I might go and hang out with Gavin. I kinda wanna see him for a little bit. Or maybe my friend Nick. I dont know yet! I am sure that I will figure something out huh? I have to go clock in now. I will try to write more on my break from work. Until then..Im going to be pissed off like I always am.