Cold weather for San Diego
hasn't it been? The highs have been in the very low 60's, (about 15.5 C). Right now it's officially 50 F (10 C), which is kind of warm for 4:30 in the morning. It must be the cloud cover that's keeping it relatively warm. The prediction is for rain today, tomorrow, and Sunday, with continued cold.
To my local friends: It pains me to say that I won't be at ConDor at all this weekend after all. I was looking forward to seeing the art show once more, even though it's usually the same artists on display. It's always fun to look at whoever GW, the art show manager, finds who would like to display their work at such a small venue, especially when he manages to persuade a Hollywood concept artist to display. I also like to go through the art show with LM, who has a master's in art history and we can dish the artists together. Then, there are the panel discussions, where I hear recommendations for interesting books (that I don't have time to read) and hear discussion related to individual creative processes. I enjoy hearing writers and artists talk about the act of creation, even though I don't consider myself a creative person. The times I have written or created visual art were interesting and surprising to me. I gained self-knowlegde and I like that feeling of surprise and pleasure I get from having had created something.
I'd like to make art again. I'll probably become one of those senior citizens who takes art or writing classes--once I'm finished with my degree. I have an idea for a drawing or painting about my boredom with Picasso; the first idea for a visual piece I have had in about 15 years. I did have an idea for an installation work that involved one specific type of palm frond, but I lost the idea itself, and found myself with a garage full of those fronds. Like my ideas for sewing projects where I wouldn't make a sketch, and I'd wind up with fabric, without a specific memory of why I bought that. (I still have two boxes of inexpensive, low quality, out-of-fashion fabric that I'm going to give away; the remainders of what build_my_world picked over when I was working on cleaning out my garage a while back.) But I digress.
I won't be going to ConDor because I have become a Twelve-Step Zombie. I say this with some bitterness. I never wanted OA to take up so much of my life; I wanted OA to be a small part of my new life. Maybe things will be different eventually once I have more recovery. I sure hope so! But right now, my raging food addiction requires my attention.
I am involved in a 6-month study group on the Twelve-Steps and the book Alcoholics Anonymous. We read, discuss, and answer questions based on what we have read, coming out of our own experience with addiction. Right now we have just finished up covering Step One. ("We admitted we were powerless over food; that our lives had become unmanageable.") We have spent five weeks on this point, and I'm feeling pretty powerless right now. I hate it. I want to be the one in control of my life, I'd like to think that I am in control, and I'd like to think that things are going all right for me. However, those thoughts are delusions in the face of what happens throughout my day. (No, I really don't think 'delusion' is too strong a word here.) This study requires a 6-hour a week time commitment. When I joined up, I didn't stop to think through thoroughly that this is as though I am taking another 5-unit class. Therefore, in effect, I am going to school virtually full-time, as I am carrying 6 units at college, including my Disabled Services computer lab class.
No wonder why I am so tired most of the time, and I feel like I have no leisure time. In order to bring more fun into my life, B loaned me money to download a Monty Python album yesterday, one I haven't heard all the way through before; Matching Tie and Handkerchief. Therein are "The Bruces' Sketch" (the one about the Australian philosophy department, culminating in "The Philosopher's Song,") and "The Cheese Emporium" where a character played by John Cleese tries to buy some cheese from a very polite yet unhelpful clerk played by Michael Palin. This really lightened my day yesterday, especially on the long bus ride from City College to Del Cerro, where my Step study is held. Thank you, B, for helping me out so splendidly. Next, I intend to buy some Bill Cosby or Ellen DeGeneres, if she has ever recorded any stand-up.
In my algebra class we are learning how to determine a line, with point-intercepts and slope. I happen to think this is neat stuff, even though I have no use for it. It's just pretty.
That's it for now. Have a good weekend, have fun at the con, and for my Twelve-Step friends, stay abstinent. [Edited to put in a forgotten bit of HTML.]
To my local friends: It pains me to say that I won't be at ConDor at all this weekend after all. I was looking forward to seeing the art show once more, even though it's usually the same artists on display. It's always fun to look at whoever GW, the art show manager, finds who would like to display their work at such a small venue, especially when he manages to persuade a Hollywood concept artist to display. I also like to go through the art show with LM, who has a master's in art history and we can dish the artists together. Then, there are the panel discussions, where I hear recommendations for interesting books (that I don't have time to read) and hear discussion related to individual creative processes. I enjoy hearing writers and artists talk about the act of creation, even though I don't consider myself a creative person. The times I have written or created visual art were interesting and surprising to me. I gained self-knowlegde and I like that feeling of surprise and pleasure I get from having had created something.
I'd like to make art again. I'll probably become one of those senior citizens who takes art or writing classes--once I'm finished with my degree. I have an idea for a drawing or painting about my boredom with Picasso; the first idea for a visual piece I have had in about 15 years. I did have an idea for an installation work that involved one specific type of palm frond, but I lost the idea itself, and found myself with a garage full of those fronds. Like my ideas for sewing projects where I wouldn't make a sketch, and I'd wind up with fabric, without a specific memory of why I bought that. (I still have two boxes of inexpensive, low quality, out-of-fashion fabric that I'm going to give away; the remainders of what build_my_world picked over when I was working on cleaning out my garage a while back.) But I digress.
I won't be going to ConDor because I have become a Twelve-Step Zombie. I say this with some bitterness. I never wanted OA to take up so much of my life; I wanted OA to be a small part of my new life. Maybe things will be different eventually once I have more recovery. I sure hope so! But right now, my raging food addiction requires my attention.
I am involved in a 6-month study group on the Twelve-Steps and the book Alcoholics Anonymous. We read, discuss, and answer questions based on what we have read, coming out of our own experience with addiction. Right now we have just finished up covering Step One. ("We admitted we were powerless over food; that our lives had become unmanageable.") We have spent five weeks on this point, and I'm feeling pretty powerless right now. I hate it. I want to be the one in control of my life, I'd like to think that I am in control, and I'd like to think that things are going all right for me. However, those thoughts are delusions in the face of what happens throughout my day. (No, I really don't think 'delusion' is too strong a word here.) This study requires a 6-hour a week time commitment. When I joined up, I didn't stop to think through thoroughly that this is as though I am taking another 5-unit class. Therefore, in effect, I am going to school virtually full-time, as I am carrying 6 units at college, including my Disabled Services computer lab class.
No wonder why I am so tired most of the time, and I feel like I have no leisure time. In order to bring more fun into my life, B loaned me money to download a Monty Python album yesterday, one I haven't heard all the way through before; Matching Tie and Handkerchief. Therein are "The Bruces' Sketch" (the one about the Australian philosophy department, culminating in "The Philosopher's Song,") and "The Cheese Emporium" where a character played by John Cleese tries to buy some cheese from a very polite yet unhelpful clerk played by Michael Palin. This really lightened my day yesterday, especially on the long bus ride from City College to Del Cerro, where my Step study is held. Thank you, B, for helping me out so splendidly. Next, I intend to buy some Bill Cosby or Ellen DeGeneres, if she has ever recorded any stand-up.
In my algebra class we are learning how to determine a line, with point-intercepts and slope. I happen to think this is neat stuff, even though I have no use for it. It's just pretty.
That's it for now. Have a good weekend, have fun at the con, and for my Twelve-Step friends, stay abstinent. [Edited to put in a forgotten bit of HTML.]