(no subject)
A thought in the mind of Matthew Wright....
Times have changed. Things have changed. People have changed.
Times change. Things change. People change.
Times will change. Things will change. People will change.
I am not ready for everything that is going to come in the future or what the future holds for me. I rarely admit that I am scared, but I will admit that I am now. Sometimes I do sit down and wish that I knew what was coming for me, but I am scared I will be disappointed. I don't want to be disappointed. I want the best future I can possibly have, everyone does.
We just recently got the yearbooks. While flipping through mine, It reminded me of how much fun my high school years are, despite all the bad things that have happened. But I would like to relive my high school years or stay in them and never leave. I mean to think about it, I am in a great place, a very comforting environment. I have a lot of friends, I am quite popular, I have a gorgeous and intelligent girlfriend, I am constantly out and about, my grades are great, and I don't have a job yet have money to spend. Now tell me that is perfect or at least great. I don't want ot leave all of that. Because I know once I graduate next year, every single one of those things are going to leave me (except the grades). I don't want to be left. I want to always be happy and once all of those things leave me, I can see my life going downhill or at least mentally. My mentality is not even that great to comprehend my life without all of those things. I will be alone.
Another thing that worries me is college. I am not ready for college. I am worried I won't go where I want to go and do the things I want to do. I am afraid my grade and ACT aren't high enough to get me anywhere where I can be successful. I feel like it is almost inevitable. My ACT score, I continuously fail at and my grades weren't all that great until recently. I try to get help and I try really hard at those things but I fail. I hate failing. I just need more help and I need guidance. I need faith in myself.
Anna Pavlov, the gorgeous girl of many talents. Whoo.. She is the main root of my greatness, inspiration and succession. If not for her, all of those things up there wouldn't even be there to complain about missing. She taught me faith, believing in oneself, trust, and excitement. She herself is all of those things and more. She is a big part of my life and without her I feel like there is none of that. She may have taught those things to me, but I feel that they will all go away without her. I can't really see myself without her. I don't think I have a life without her. Always running back to her, I obviously can't live without her. She, like I always think, is my everything. She will always be my everything, even if she isn't here to be that. After high school, she will be greatly missed, more than she can ever imagine. Wow, what the things love can do to you.
Overall, I realize that feeling scared is probably a normal feeling. Actually it is a normal feeling, I know that for a fact. But I guess what I am trying to say is I wish there was a way to get away from feeling scared. I would like to be able to enjoy what I have now and not think to far into the future, because that is what I do, no matter how hard it is to not do, but I can't resist. I am one to see what it would be like to be without certain things.
One more year left until my judgment day. We shall see together what will happen. And that day may be a day of reckoning or a day of remembrance. Till then, I must enjoy the present and what I have left of it.
Times have changed. Things have changed. People have changed.
Times change. Things change. People change.
Times will change. Things will change. People will change.
I am not ready for everything that is going to come in the future or what the future holds for me. I rarely admit that I am scared, but I will admit that I am now. Sometimes I do sit down and wish that I knew what was coming for me, but I am scared I will be disappointed. I don't want to be disappointed. I want the best future I can possibly have, everyone does.
We just recently got the yearbooks. While flipping through mine, It reminded me of how much fun my high school years are, despite all the bad things that have happened. But I would like to relive my high school years or stay in them and never leave. I mean to think about it, I am in a great place, a very comforting environment. I have a lot of friends, I am quite popular, I have a gorgeous and intelligent girlfriend, I am constantly out and about, my grades are great, and I don't have a job yet have money to spend. Now tell me that is perfect or at least great. I don't want ot leave all of that. Because I know once I graduate next year, every single one of those things are going to leave me (except the grades). I don't want to be left. I want to always be happy and once all of those things leave me, I can see my life going downhill or at least mentally. My mentality is not even that great to comprehend my life without all of those things. I will be alone.
Another thing that worries me is college. I am not ready for college. I am worried I won't go where I want to go and do the things I want to do. I am afraid my grade and ACT aren't high enough to get me anywhere where I can be successful. I feel like it is almost inevitable. My ACT score, I continuously fail at and my grades weren't all that great until recently. I try to get help and I try really hard at those things but I fail. I hate failing. I just need more help and I need guidance. I need faith in myself.
Anna Pavlov, the gorgeous girl of many talents. Whoo.. She is the main root of my greatness, inspiration and succession. If not for her, all of those things up there wouldn't even be there to complain about missing. She taught me faith, believing in oneself, trust, and excitement. She herself is all of those things and more. She is a big part of my life and without her I feel like there is none of that. She may have taught those things to me, but I feel that they will all go away without her. I can't really see myself without her. I don't think I have a life without her. Always running back to her, I obviously can't live without her. She, like I always think, is my everything. She will always be my everything, even if she isn't here to be that. After high school, she will be greatly missed, more than she can ever imagine. Wow, what the things love can do to you.
Overall, I realize that feeling scared is probably a normal feeling. Actually it is a normal feeling, I know that for a fact. But I guess what I am trying to say is I wish there was a way to get away from feeling scared. I would like to be able to enjoy what I have now and not think to far into the future, because that is what I do, no matter how hard it is to not do, but I can't resist. I am one to see what it would be like to be without certain things.
One more year left until my judgment day. We shall see together what will happen. And that day may be a day of reckoning or a day of remembrance. Till then, I must enjoy the present and what I have left of it.