SGA Fic: Seeing Is Believing (pg)
Okay, this is a very scary moment for me, but I seem to have written my first SGA fic, and amazingly, it has no porn at all. At *all*! It's got Sheppard/McKay overtones, but they're really not the point of the story. It's also a tiny bit bleaker than my usual style. My unoffical subtitle for this is: "The real reason nobody ever gets any sleep in Atlantis".
Huge huge thanks go out to synecdochic for letting me write at her, without_me for cleaning up the grammar even when she knew nothing about the fandom, and seperis and svmadelyn for looking it over and basically rocking in general.
I'm posting only here as a dry run, and if all goes well, I'll stick it up at Wraithbait.
Seeing is Believing
Kavanagh
Women like Simpson expect far more than they deserve to get. You don’t become an engineer with looks like that unless you enjoy being the only beautiful woman in a room full of unattractive men. She shouldn’t be where she is, and if he hadn’t seen clear evidence to the contrary, he’d think McKay had other reasons for picking her.
It keeps him up at night - the little sneer she gave him just before tossing her hair and cutting him off at the knees. Weir shouldn’t have listened to her, but she did.
He hates it that she was right.
Simpson
She can see the contempt in Bates’ eyes every time Sheppard turns and walks away. It says a lot about Bates that Sheppard trusts him to watch his back.
She heard about what he did to Teyla, and she admires him for it - that he was able to keep his head and focus on solving the problem instead of wasting his time wringing his hands and trying to talk her down.
It keeps her up at night - the stillness of his face, and the way he grips his gun so tightly.
All of that discipline had to come from somewhere.
Bates
Working in the SGC, he couldn’t really miss the scientists, but there wasn’t much interaction. Things are different in Atlantis. There’s nowhere else to go, and he’s constantly surrounded by a babble of topics he doesn’t care enough to pay attention to.
They’re not so bad (aside from McKay), but Zelenka is the best of the bunch. Bates respects a man who’s always polite, but still gets what he wants.
It keeps him up at night - that shy smile that still manages to be knowing.
When Weir asks him to pick a team, it only takes a minute to choose.
Zelenka
It usually goes like this: when you are smart, time is wasted being pretty. One look at Major Sheppard’s hair kills that theory cold.
So, smart and pretty, and Radek notices because he’s not dead, but he doesn’t make it more, because Sheppard’s too busy focusing on Rodney to pay attention to anybody else not getting their soul sucked out of their chest.
It keeps him up at night - the subtle flashes in Sheppard’s eyes, the way he swipes at Rodney like a lazy cat.
One day that hair is going to be too much, and Rodney’s going to pounce.
Sheppard
John’s learned to value soldiers like Ford. The endless good cheer and positivity totally outweigh the lack of imagination. He’s got enough of that from McKay anyway.
He might’ve enjoyed partnering up with him, but John’s responsible for him now, just like he’s responsible for all of the men and women on the base. It leaves a void that can never be crossed, and fun as Ford is, John looks for friendship elsewhere.
It keeps him up at night - imagining that animated face aging into dust, all of that joy annihilated.
Even as a kid, John was never that young.
Ford
It’s Ford’s first tour of duty under a woman, and so far he has no complaints.
It can get weird, looking at his superior and suddenly there are *breasts*, but whenever that happens, he remembers the respect she gets from Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay. Anyone who can earn the trust of both of them has to be the best there is - breasts or no breasts.
It keeps him up at night - nightmarish visions of Sheppard and Bates dying, and he’s all that’s left to help her save the city.
Good thing she can get by without any of them.
Weir
Just as she’d gotten used to being the only one, suddenly there was another woman who knew what it was like being responsible for a large group of divergent people. Except this woman can kick all of their asses, and it’s hard not to be intimidated by that.
It’s an endless struggle: respect and jealousy, trust and fear.
It keeps her up at night - thinking of what she would’ve done if Teyla had been the traitor. What she would’ve had to do.
She reminds herself that if Teyla can do it, so can she. Teyla would want it that way.
Teyla
Dr. Beckett’s lab is full of wondrous things, and Teyla’s known a lot of doctors, but none as talented as him. Doctoring isn’t enough to protect them from the Wraith, though, and Dr. Beckett doesn’t seem to understand how much he’s needed. Sometimes it’s hard to keep from physically forcing him into helping.
It keeps her up at night - fear of him refusing to use the gene that would save them all.
She’d learned at a young age not to squander her gifts. There is nothing she hates more than waste, and a good doctor should feel the same way.
Beckett
He’s known Rodney for years now, longer than anybody else on Atlantis, long enough to see the tiny cracks starting to form.
The pressure must be unbearable. Always expected to pull their asses out of the fire again and again, no matter what else is happening. Rodney hasn’t been wrong yet, but what if it’s only a matter of time?
It keeps him up at night - worrying about the hungry way Rodney looks at Sheppard, like Sheppard can fill those tiny cracks within him.
But then he sees Sheppard looking back and he reminds himself that Rodney’s almost always right.
McKay
Rodney had argued, but he’d been overruled by people who wanted Kavanagh as far away as humanly possible, farther than Siberia.
It’s not that he’s not smart, but smart isn’t enough in Atlantis. You need to be *smart*, and Kavanagh’s coming up short.
It keeps him up at night - they don’t have time for Kavanagh’s petty vanity and need for ego stroking when there are an unquantifiable number of horrible ways they’re going to die.
Honestly, though, it’d be a lot more upsetting if he didn’t have a smirking Major standing right behind him and whispering equations into his ear.
Huge huge thanks go out to synecdochic for letting me write at her, without_me for cleaning up the grammar even when she knew nothing about the fandom, and seperis and svmadelyn for looking it over and basically rocking in general.
I'm posting only here as a dry run, and if all goes well, I'll stick it up at Wraithbait.
Seeing is Believing
Kavanagh
Women like Simpson expect far more than they deserve to get. You don’t become an engineer with looks like that unless you enjoy being the only beautiful woman in a room full of unattractive men. She shouldn’t be where she is, and if he hadn’t seen clear evidence to the contrary, he’d think McKay had other reasons for picking her.
It keeps him up at night - the little sneer she gave him just before tossing her hair and cutting him off at the knees. Weir shouldn’t have listened to her, but she did.
He hates it that she was right.
Simpson
She can see the contempt in Bates’ eyes every time Sheppard turns and walks away. It says a lot about Bates that Sheppard trusts him to watch his back.
She heard about what he did to Teyla, and she admires him for it - that he was able to keep his head and focus on solving the problem instead of wasting his time wringing his hands and trying to talk her down.
It keeps her up at night - the stillness of his face, and the way he grips his gun so tightly.
All of that discipline had to come from somewhere.
Bates
Working in the SGC, he couldn’t really miss the scientists, but there wasn’t much interaction. Things are different in Atlantis. There’s nowhere else to go, and he’s constantly surrounded by a babble of topics he doesn’t care enough to pay attention to.
They’re not so bad (aside from McKay), but Zelenka is the best of the bunch. Bates respects a man who’s always polite, but still gets what he wants.
It keeps him up at night - that shy smile that still manages to be knowing.
When Weir asks him to pick a team, it only takes a minute to choose.
Zelenka
It usually goes like this: when you are smart, time is wasted being pretty. One look at Major Sheppard’s hair kills that theory cold.
So, smart and pretty, and Radek notices because he’s not dead, but he doesn’t make it more, because Sheppard’s too busy focusing on Rodney to pay attention to anybody else not getting their soul sucked out of their chest.
It keeps him up at night - the subtle flashes in Sheppard’s eyes, the way he swipes at Rodney like a lazy cat.
One day that hair is going to be too much, and Rodney’s going to pounce.
Sheppard
John’s learned to value soldiers like Ford. The endless good cheer and positivity totally outweigh the lack of imagination. He’s got enough of that from McKay anyway.
He might’ve enjoyed partnering up with him, but John’s responsible for him now, just like he’s responsible for all of the men and women on the base. It leaves a void that can never be crossed, and fun as Ford is, John looks for friendship elsewhere.
It keeps him up at night - imagining that animated face aging into dust, all of that joy annihilated.
Even as a kid, John was never that young.
Ford
It’s Ford’s first tour of duty under a woman, and so far he has no complaints.
It can get weird, looking at his superior and suddenly there are *breasts*, but whenever that happens, he remembers the respect she gets from Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay. Anyone who can earn the trust of both of them has to be the best there is - breasts or no breasts.
It keeps him up at night - nightmarish visions of Sheppard and Bates dying, and he’s all that’s left to help her save the city.
Good thing she can get by without any of them.
Weir
Just as she’d gotten used to being the only one, suddenly there was another woman who knew what it was like being responsible for a large group of divergent people. Except this woman can kick all of their asses, and it’s hard not to be intimidated by that.
It’s an endless struggle: respect and jealousy, trust and fear.
It keeps her up at night - thinking of what she would’ve done if Teyla had been the traitor. What she would’ve had to do.
She reminds herself that if Teyla can do it, so can she. Teyla would want it that way.
Teyla
Dr. Beckett’s lab is full of wondrous things, and Teyla’s known a lot of doctors, but none as talented as him. Doctoring isn’t enough to protect them from the Wraith, though, and Dr. Beckett doesn’t seem to understand how much he’s needed. Sometimes it’s hard to keep from physically forcing him into helping.
It keeps her up at night - fear of him refusing to use the gene that would save them all.
She’d learned at a young age not to squander her gifts. There is nothing she hates more than waste, and a good doctor should feel the same way.
Beckett
He’s known Rodney for years now, longer than anybody else on Atlantis, long enough to see the tiny cracks starting to form.
The pressure must be unbearable. Always expected to pull their asses out of the fire again and again, no matter what else is happening. Rodney hasn’t been wrong yet, but what if it’s only a matter of time?
It keeps him up at night - worrying about the hungry way Rodney looks at Sheppard, like Sheppard can fill those tiny cracks within him.
But then he sees Sheppard looking back and he reminds himself that Rodney’s almost always right.
McKay
Rodney had argued, but he’d been overruled by people who wanted Kavanagh as far away as humanly possible, farther than Siberia.
It’s not that he’s not smart, but smart isn’t enough in Atlantis. You need to be *smart*, and Kavanagh’s coming up short.
It keeps him up at night - they don’t have time for Kavanagh’s petty vanity and need for ego stroking when there are an unquantifiable number of horrible ways they’re going to die.
Honestly, though, it’d be a lot more upsetting if he didn’t have a smirking Major standing right behind him and whispering equations into his ear.