beautiful, lovely~ that's you, that's really you <3
Hey everyone!
Just wanted to non-flock this because it's not too earthshattering :p Well, it is, but not to the degree that I'd want to flock it XD
Basically, I haven't been practicing flute. I've reduced myself to a level of mediocrity at which I have never been, where all the practice I do is in class. It's been going for like...2 months now, though I DID practice roughly two weeks ago. I have no idea how or why it happened, really, and it felt pretty bad :( I'd fail a run in class, or in Wind Ensemble, and think "Sheesh, I feel so mediocre even though I know I'm not..." but I was only around 1 or 2 steps higher than the people in my regular section.
I've actually had quiiiite a few issues with band this year, which is weird because no one would've expected me to XD I was this close to quitting Wind Ensemble twice, skipped practice because I didn't feel like being there around twice, and meaninglessly blew my horn like, two thousand times, wondering why the heck I was even playing. It really wasn't that fun :(
But once, my band teacher handed out this article by Allen Vizzutti, called Blow Your Horn From The Heart, which was basically saying that your body will align itself to accommodate the technical aspect of music if you just play from the heart, which made me feel better, because I'm the world's least technical person when it comes to anything, really XD I once wrote in an essay last year, that I know what to do with a song to make you almost cry listening to it, but not how to sightread killer runs like everyone else can XD
And, being second chair really didn't help. It felt like a new low for me, especially after being first for all these years X___X I remembered all the times when I would pray to God saying "God, I tried my best, I practiced every day, will you please grant me first chair?" and I really felt so betrayed when I learned that I didn't. But then I felt God ask me during a piece once, "Andrea, if I don't give you second chair, will you still love music? Will you still continue to practice and love flute the way you always did?" and I was like "God...I don't know..." but now, I don't know, I think I've finally figured out what I'm going to do XD
It wasn't all being second, really. There were a handful of disagreeable people that were making band in general hard for me, but I practiced for an hour today, without even timing myself or anything, and I dunno, it all came baaack to me, why I really liked playing flute, and just how nonmediocre I was, and blablablaaaaa it just felt really good XD So I have greatly resolved to not get lazy, and forget about racing for first chair, and forget about anyone bugging me, and just play. Because Riley said to me once, that music is a way to make and spread beauty, and it's all ruined when you're trying to beat someone, or trying not to let someone get to you, or just not practicing and not liking what you're doing.
So I will end off my lame-ass post by saying that if your technique sucks (like me!!!), or there are dickwads in your band, or anything like that, just remember what music is, how pretty it is, and how you only need to play music from your emooootions, man! Because music is just emotion, that's it. Skill and technique can only take you so far, if you've got no FEEEEL while you're playing, and if you've got the FEEEEL, your technique will follow.
Music is emoootion, baby!
Okay, I'm gonna go now, I'm getting lamer and lamer
Will post about all the drama lama tomorrow! flocked, of course :p
Loooove <3 <3 <3
~Akira
Just wanted to non-flock this because it's not too earthshattering :p Well, it is, but not to the degree that I'd want to flock it XD
Basically, I haven't been practicing flute. I've reduced myself to a level of mediocrity at which I have never been, where all the practice I do is in class. It's been going for like...2 months now, though I DID practice roughly two weeks ago. I have no idea how or why it happened, really, and it felt pretty bad :( I'd fail a run in class, or in Wind Ensemble, and think "Sheesh, I feel so mediocre even though I know I'm not..." but I was only around 1 or 2 steps higher than the people in my regular section.
I've actually had quiiiite a few issues with band this year, which is weird because no one would've expected me to XD I was this close to quitting Wind Ensemble twice, skipped practice because I didn't feel like being there around twice, and meaninglessly blew my horn like, two thousand times, wondering why the heck I was even playing. It really wasn't that fun :(
But once, my band teacher handed out this article by Allen Vizzutti, called Blow Your Horn From The Heart, which was basically saying that your body will align itself to accommodate the technical aspect of music if you just play from the heart, which made me feel better, because I'm the world's least technical person when it comes to anything, really XD I once wrote in an essay last year, that I know what to do with a song to make you almost cry listening to it, but not how to sightread killer runs like everyone else can XD
And, being second chair really didn't help. It felt like a new low for me, especially after being first for all these years X___X I remembered all the times when I would pray to God saying "God, I tried my best, I practiced every day, will you please grant me first chair?" and I really felt so betrayed when I learned that I didn't. But then I felt God ask me during a piece once, "Andrea, if I don't give you second chair, will you still love music? Will you still continue to practice and love flute the way you always did?" and I was like "God...I don't know..." but now, I don't know, I think I've finally figured out what I'm going to do XD
It wasn't all being second, really. There were a handful of disagreeable people that were making band in general hard for me, but I practiced for an hour today, without even timing myself or anything, and I dunno, it all came baaack to me, why I really liked playing flute, and just how nonmediocre I was, and blablablaaaaa it just felt really good XD So I have greatly resolved to not get lazy, and forget about racing for first chair, and forget about anyone bugging me, and just play. Because Riley said to me once, that music is a way to make and spread beauty, and it's all ruined when you're trying to beat someone, or trying not to let someone get to you, or just not practicing and not liking what you're doing.
So I will end off my lame-ass post by saying that if your technique sucks (like me!!!), or there are dickwads in your band, or anything like that, just remember what music is, how pretty it is, and how you only need to play music from your emooootions, man! Because music is just emotion, that's it. Skill and technique can only take you so far, if you've got no FEEEEL while you're playing, and if you've got the FEEEEL, your technique will follow.
Music is emoootion, baby!
Okay, I'm gonna go now, I'm getting lamer and lamer
Will post about all the drama lama tomorrow! flocked, of course :p
Loooove <3 <3 <3
~Akira