Ending Four
Ryan gets up from his bed
Ryan’s sheets made a ruffling sound as he got up from his bed and a moment later Brendon’s mattress sagged under new weight. Brendon imagined Ryan was reaching out to touch him, stopping short just millimetres from skin.
“Yeah, I know. I’m not trying to preach, or anything, but it should mean something. I’d rather it be with one of us than with someone like that chick in Indiana.” He hesitated, like he wanted to say something more. Then he actually did touch Brendon, hand light on the small of his back.
“So why not Gabe,” Brendon challenged. “And you can just shut up with the stupid VD jokes.”
Ryan made an exasperated sound. “Well, I’m pretty sure Bill would kick your ass, for one thing.”
“Why not someone like Adam?” He purposely named someone unattached so that Ryan couldn’t use that as an excuse.
“I-are you-seriously? You like Adam?” Ryan’s voice wavered a little with uncertainty and it made Brendon’s stomach flip.
Brendon shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.” God, he sounded like a little kid. “He’s hot and he’s fun. Why not Adam?”
“Because!” Ryan burst out, and barely got the word out before his voice died. Brendon waited, hardly daring to breathe. Ryan’s fingers touched with more pressure, with purpose, moving up to curl around Brendon’s waist. It wasn’t different from how they might touch one another on any given day, but it was.
“Because,” Ryan said, more softly, “I’d rather it be with me than with anyone else.”
Brendon swore his heart stopped beating for a minute. It was so quiet he could make out the words from the music playing downstairs and each breath Ryan drew was the loudest thing Brendon had ever heard. “What?” he whispered.
“Brendon,” Ryan said. His hand coaxed at Brendon’s side until Brendon rolled toward him. The only illumination in the room was from the bedside lamp Ryan had been using. It cast Ryan’s face in stark shadows, made it impossible to read him. Of course, Ryan was always impossible to read.
“I don’t need a pity fuck,” Brendon finally managed to spit out. It came out more angrily than he’d meant. He wasn’t a mean guy, but if anyone could bring out his temper, it was Ryan.
“I’m not talking about a pity fuck,” Ryan said. He flinched and made a face like he was surprised by his own words. His hands fluttered against Brendon’s chest, up his throat. Long fingers curved around Brendon’s jaw. He cradled Brendon’s face between his hands and his eyes fell closed and he leaned in.
Brendon should have pulled away. He didn’t want to do some casual thing with Ryan when he wanted so much more. He should have pushed Ryan away. He should have done anything other than fall into the kiss. But that’s what he did. It was like he’d never been kissed before, like he completely forgot how to do it. He felt clumsy and inexperienced at Ryan’s touch, moving his mouth, trying to keep up with the soft, wet press of Ryan’s tongue against his, Ryan’s teeth tugging on his lip. When they parted, his mouth was tingling, numb.
“Ryan.” Brendon felt his eyes were wide and he sounded wondering, lost. Just how he felt. “What exactly are you saying?” He looked at the delicate, exposed curve of Ryan’s neck where the collar of his shirt was too big. He wanted to kiss it, like he always did, except now, maybe he could.
“That your first time should be with someone who…” Ryan stopped and stared down at the comforter. Brendon waited. Ryan could be really fucking eloquent on paper, but that was usually after revision. He was usually pretty awkward at expressing things without practice. “Your first time shouldn’t just be about sex,” he finished at last, cheeks red with embarrassment.
Ryan pressed his face into Brendon’s throat. His mouth moved like kisses as he spoke, sending sensation skittering through Brendon’s veins. “That maybe most people do it for the wrong reason, but your first time should be with the same person as your second time, and your third time and your hundredth time.”
And Ryan wanted to be that person. Brendon knew that was as close as to a declaration as he was probably ever going to get from Ryan Ross, and it was better than anything he could have imagined or hoped for. He closed his arms around Ryan, pulling him close. Brendon kissed him frantically and Ryan’s hands were everywhere, in Brendon’s hair, tracing over his cheek, smoothing down his chest.
“You weren’t really thinking about fucking someone else, were you?” Ryan asked.
“Maybe.” Brendon swallowed and thought about what he would have done if Ryan hadn’t come to his bed. “Yeah. But I would have felt like shit after.”
Ryan nodded slowly, processing. He sat up, wriggling out of Brendon’s embrace and shrugging off his shirt. When he settled back against Brendon’s chest it was skin against skin and Ryan felt small and frail in Brendon’s arms. Brendon liked the feel of it. He traced his fingers up Ryan’s spine, and Ryan mewled and licked into Brendon’s mouth. His back arched under Brendon’s touch, pressing his hips against Brendon’s.
Brendon had made out before, but never with the knowledge that it was heading somewhere else. His entire body felt like it was on fire. Every slow twist of Ryan’s hips against his went straight to his groin. Ryan left his mouth to suck kisses down Brendon’s chest, leaving wet, red marks in his wake. Ryan flicked a nail over one nipple, teased his tongue over the other and the sensation was like a string between Brendon’s dick and his nipple, like Ryan’s mouth was teasing his dick with his tongue. The mere thought was almost enough to make him come in his pants.
“Lift your hips,” Ryan murmured into another kiss, and Brendon shut up all the worries, second-guessing and general embarrassment in his head, and lifted his hips. Ryan threw his pyjama pants aside and shimmied out of his own. He gave Brendon a look that could only be termed wicked, and sank between Brendon’s legs.
Brendon said, “Oh God,” and spread his legs wider. He wanted to close his eyes, because he wasn’t sure he could watch, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away, either. Ryan met his eyes unflinchingly and lowered his head, swallowing him all the way down. It was almost too much at first, like he would just come or die or both right away. But Ryan put all his strength into his hands, pinning Brendon’s hips to the mattress and just sucked.
“Fuck, fuck, Ry…Ryan, I’m going to…” he trailed off, trying desperately to move his hips. Ryan leaned back and swirled his tongue around the head of Brendon’s cock then took him all the way down again, and that was it. Brendon tried to warn him, pushing at Ryan’s head, making noises in the back of his throat, but Ryan either didn’t realise or didn’t care and just kept sucking all the way through it, swallowing.
Brendon’s hips fell back against the mattress and the strain went out of Ryan’s touch. He sat back on his heels, wiping his mouth with dainty fingers. He had a soft, faintly smug smile. He laid himself out over Brendon, pressing their lips together. His skin against Brendon’s was hot and moist, his dick hard against Brendon’s belly. Brendon pulled away from the kiss, licked his lips.
“Do you want to…” he made a vague gesture with his hands, hoping Ryan would know what he meant.
Ryan looked almost shy, tracing a finger down Brendon’s chest. “I’ve never-with another guy. So. I mean, I know you can’t have my first time, first time. But you could have this first time.”
Ryan was not sentimental. He was not sweet. Brendon was pretty sure he was dreaming. His dick was starting to pay attention to what was being said, perking up again.
“I’ve got some lube in my bag.” Brendon threw his hand over the side of the bed, waving. Ryan leaned over to unzip the bag. “Side pocket.” He put the bottle in Brendon’s hand and nudged him.
The bed wasn’t wide enough for them to both lay down on their backs, side by side. Brendon shifted onto his knees and Ryan lay beneath him, spreading his legs on either side. Brendon had often appreciated how long Ryan was, all thin, tight muscles. Now it was all laid bare before him and he couldn’t help but just touch everywhere. Ryan hummed at his touch, relaxing into the sheets.
Brendon slicked up his hand and drew it up Ryan’s length. Ryan stayed remarkably still, but his thighs were shaking. Brendon wondered if Ryan was always like this, or if he was just trying to hold himself back because it was Brendon’s first time. He said, “Just. Be you,” and licked up the underside of Ryan’s cock. He was actually a little glad he was going to be on top, at least for now, because he wasn’t sure if Ryan would fit inside him.
He sucked the head between his lips and Ryan moved a little at that, hesitantly rocking his hips. Brendon sank lower, hand around what he couldn’t get in his mouth. With his other hand he sought blindly until he found Ryan’s opening. Ryan held completely still when Brendon pushed in the first finger and worked him open. He couldn’t imagine how it could accommodate his dick. But then he got a second finger in and Ryan started rocking on his hand like he wanted more, and maybe it wouldn’t be so rough.
Ryan sat up suddenly, pushing at his shoulders, and Brendon sat back on his heels, panting. Ryan poured the lube in his palm and rubbed it over Brendon’s erection. He didn’t say anything, just lay back down with his hands on Brendon’s waist, his thighs tight around Brendon’s hips.
They were like this epic, perfect fit. Not that Brendon wanted to elevate his first time to some mythic level, or something, but seriously. He pushed in and Ryan just gave, opened to him, arms clinging, nails scratching, voice sweet and low, muttering nonsense. And, whatever, it was his first time, yeah, but it was Ryan, too. It was fucking epic.
He lasted a little longer this time. Long enough to set up a nice rhythm and get Ryan moving with him-sharp, desperate snaps of his ass against Brendon’s thighs, feet hooked over Brendon’s ass. Long enough for Ryan to get off, scraping his teeth over Brendon’s throat hard enough to bruise.
It was the most satisfying thing he’d ever experienced, making Ryan Ross come, sticky on his hand and his stomach. It was the most satisfying thing until his own orgasm shook through him, taking him by complete surprise. He groaned Ryan’s name and slump over him, dead weight.
“Fuck. That was awesome,” Brendon said, when he had his breath back.
They kissed long and slow until Brendon became aware of the stickiness between them, and how Ryan must feel crushed beneath him. Ryan brushed a hand down his back and pressed a kiss into his shoulder blade.
Brendon rolled off him, curling up at his side. Ryan was too quiet, by far. “Was it…was it awesome?”
Ryan was using a corner of the sheet to wipe away the mess on his stomach. He gave Brendon a bland look. “I came,” he said, “You want a fucking standing ovation?” A smile tugged at his lips, and that told Brendon more than Ryan’s words ever would. He looked sated and happy. He dabbed between his legs and threw the sheet off the bed, his nose wrinkled in distaste. “You totally have to do Pete’s laundry, because there’s no way I’m explaining that,” Ryan said.
Brendon chuckled. “Are you kidding? He would totally throw me a party. Or we could blame it on, like, Bill. Pete would believe it.”
Ryan sighed in contentment and kissed the underside of Brendon’s jaw. Then he made a face and squirmed around like he was uncomfortable. “And next time we find time to find a condom. Fuck, I need a shower.” But he didn’t get up, just moved around until his back was spooned to Brendon’s front, their hands intertwined over Ryan’s stomach.
Brendon listened as Ryan’s breathing slowed down and evened out. He could feel the beat of Ryan’s heart where their hands touched and where his chin rested on Ryan’s shoulder. Despite the heavy thrum of the bass from downstairs, he let Ryan’s sounds lull him to sleep.
It later turned out that Pete didn’t believe that Bill had made the mess and he actually did throw Brendon a party. There were hats. And impromptu songs. And Brendon wasn’t sure whether he blushed more, or Ryan did. On the plus side, the romantic in Pete was a generous guy and made Patrick share his bed and let Brendon and Ryan have the master bedroom for the rest of their stay.
End story four
Go back to the last choice
Go back to the beginning.
Ryan’s sheets made a ruffling sound as he got up from his bed and a moment later Brendon’s mattress sagged under new weight. Brendon imagined Ryan was reaching out to touch him, stopping short just millimetres from skin.
“Yeah, I know. I’m not trying to preach, or anything, but it should mean something. I’d rather it be with one of us than with someone like that chick in Indiana.” He hesitated, like he wanted to say something more. Then he actually did touch Brendon, hand light on the small of his back.
“So why not Gabe,” Brendon challenged. “And you can just shut up with the stupid VD jokes.”
Ryan made an exasperated sound. “Well, I’m pretty sure Bill would kick your ass, for one thing.”
“Why not someone like Adam?” He purposely named someone unattached so that Ryan couldn’t use that as an excuse.
“I-are you-seriously? You like Adam?” Ryan’s voice wavered a little with uncertainty and it made Brendon’s stomach flip.
Brendon shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.” God, he sounded like a little kid. “He’s hot and he’s fun. Why not Adam?”
“Because!” Ryan burst out, and barely got the word out before his voice died. Brendon waited, hardly daring to breathe. Ryan’s fingers touched with more pressure, with purpose, moving up to curl around Brendon’s waist. It wasn’t different from how they might touch one another on any given day, but it was.
“Because,” Ryan said, more softly, “I’d rather it be with me than with anyone else.”
Brendon swore his heart stopped beating for a minute. It was so quiet he could make out the words from the music playing downstairs and each breath Ryan drew was the loudest thing Brendon had ever heard. “What?” he whispered.
“Brendon,” Ryan said. His hand coaxed at Brendon’s side until Brendon rolled toward him. The only illumination in the room was from the bedside lamp Ryan had been using. It cast Ryan’s face in stark shadows, made it impossible to read him. Of course, Ryan was always impossible to read.
“I don’t need a pity fuck,” Brendon finally managed to spit out. It came out more angrily than he’d meant. He wasn’t a mean guy, but if anyone could bring out his temper, it was Ryan.
“I’m not talking about a pity fuck,” Ryan said. He flinched and made a face like he was surprised by his own words. His hands fluttered against Brendon’s chest, up his throat. Long fingers curved around Brendon’s jaw. He cradled Brendon’s face between his hands and his eyes fell closed and he leaned in.
Brendon should have pulled away. He didn’t want to do some casual thing with Ryan when he wanted so much more. He should have pushed Ryan away. He should have done anything other than fall into the kiss. But that’s what he did. It was like he’d never been kissed before, like he completely forgot how to do it. He felt clumsy and inexperienced at Ryan’s touch, moving his mouth, trying to keep up with the soft, wet press of Ryan’s tongue against his, Ryan’s teeth tugging on his lip. When they parted, his mouth was tingling, numb.
“Ryan.” Brendon felt his eyes were wide and he sounded wondering, lost. Just how he felt. “What exactly are you saying?” He looked at the delicate, exposed curve of Ryan’s neck where the collar of his shirt was too big. He wanted to kiss it, like he always did, except now, maybe he could.
“That your first time should be with someone who…” Ryan stopped and stared down at the comforter. Brendon waited. Ryan could be really fucking eloquent on paper, but that was usually after revision. He was usually pretty awkward at expressing things without practice. “Your first time shouldn’t just be about sex,” he finished at last, cheeks red with embarrassment.
Ryan pressed his face into Brendon’s throat. His mouth moved like kisses as he spoke, sending sensation skittering through Brendon’s veins. “That maybe most people do it for the wrong reason, but your first time should be with the same person as your second time, and your third time and your hundredth time.”
And Ryan wanted to be that person. Brendon knew that was as close as to a declaration as he was probably ever going to get from Ryan Ross, and it was better than anything he could have imagined or hoped for. He closed his arms around Ryan, pulling him close. Brendon kissed him frantically and Ryan’s hands were everywhere, in Brendon’s hair, tracing over his cheek, smoothing down his chest.
“You weren’t really thinking about fucking someone else, were you?” Ryan asked.
“Maybe.” Brendon swallowed and thought about what he would have done if Ryan hadn’t come to his bed. “Yeah. But I would have felt like shit after.”
Ryan nodded slowly, processing. He sat up, wriggling out of Brendon’s embrace and shrugging off his shirt. When he settled back against Brendon’s chest it was skin against skin and Ryan felt small and frail in Brendon’s arms. Brendon liked the feel of it. He traced his fingers up Ryan’s spine, and Ryan mewled and licked into Brendon’s mouth. His back arched under Brendon’s touch, pressing his hips against Brendon’s.
Brendon had made out before, but never with the knowledge that it was heading somewhere else. His entire body felt like it was on fire. Every slow twist of Ryan’s hips against his went straight to his groin. Ryan left his mouth to suck kisses down Brendon’s chest, leaving wet, red marks in his wake. Ryan flicked a nail over one nipple, teased his tongue over the other and the sensation was like a string between Brendon’s dick and his nipple, like Ryan’s mouth was teasing his dick with his tongue. The mere thought was almost enough to make him come in his pants.
“Lift your hips,” Ryan murmured into another kiss, and Brendon shut up all the worries, second-guessing and general embarrassment in his head, and lifted his hips. Ryan threw his pyjama pants aside and shimmied out of his own. He gave Brendon a look that could only be termed wicked, and sank between Brendon’s legs.
Brendon said, “Oh God,” and spread his legs wider. He wanted to close his eyes, because he wasn’t sure he could watch, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away, either. Ryan met his eyes unflinchingly and lowered his head, swallowing him all the way down. It was almost too much at first, like he would just come or die or both right away. But Ryan put all his strength into his hands, pinning Brendon’s hips to the mattress and just sucked.
“Fuck, fuck, Ry…Ryan, I’m going to…” he trailed off, trying desperately to move his hips. Ryan leaned back and swirled his tongue around the head of Brendon’s cock then took him all the way down again, and that was it. Brendon tried to warn him, pushing at Ryan’s head, making noises in the back of his throat, but Ryan either didn’t realise or didn’t care and just kept sucking all the way through it, swallowing.
Brendon’s hips fell back against the mattress and the strain went out of Ryan’s touch. He sat back on his heels, wiping his mouth with dainty fingers. He had a soft, faintly smug smile. He laid himself out over Brendon, pressing their lips together. His skin against Brendon’s was hot and moist, his dick hard against Brendon’s belly. Brendon pulled away from the kiss, licked his lips.
“Do you want to…” he made a vague gesture with his hands, hoping Ryan would know what he meant.
Ryan looked almost shy, tracing a finger down Brendon’s chest. “I’ve never-with another guy. So. I mean, I know you can’t have my first time, first time. But you could have this first time.”
Ryan was not sentimental. He was not sweet. Brendon was pretty sure he was dreaming. His dick was starting to pay attention to what was being said, perking up again.
“I’ve got some lube in my bag.” Brendon threw his hand over the side of the bed, waving. Ryan leaned over to unzip the bag. “Side pocket.” He put the bottle in Brendon’s hand and nudged him.
The bed wasn’t wide enough for them to both lay down on their backs, side by side. Brendon shifted onto his knees and Ryan lay beneath him, spreading his legs on either side. Brendon had often appreciated how long Ryan was, all thin, tight muscles. Now it was all laid bare before him and he couldn’t help but just touch everywhere. Ryan hummed at his touch, relaxing into the sheets.
Brendon slicked up his hand and drew it up Ryan’s length. Ryan stayed remarkably still, but his thighs were shaking. Brendon wondered if Ryan was always like this, or if he was just trying to hold himself back because it was Brendon’s first time. He said, “Just. Be you,” and licked up the underside of Ryan’s cock. He was actually a little glad he was going to be on top, at least for now, because he wasn’t sure if Ryan would fit inside him.
He sucked the head between his lips and Ryan moved a little at that, hesitantly rocking his hips. Brendon sank lower, hand around what he couldn’t get in his mouth. With his other hand he sought blindly until he found Ryan’s opening. Ryan held completely still when Brendon pushed in the first finger and worked him open. He couldn’t imagine how it could accommodate his dick. But then he got a second finger in and Ryan started rocking on his hand like he wanted more, and maybe it wouldn’t be so rough.
Ryan sat up suddenly, pushing at his shoulders, and Brendon sat back on his heels, panting. Ryan poured the lube in his palm and rubbed it over Brendon’s erection. He didn’t say anything, just lay back down with his hands on Brendon’s waist, his thighs tight around Brendon’s hips.
They were like this epic, perfect fit. Not that Brendon wanted to elevate his first time to some mythic level, or something, but seriously. He pushed in and Ryan just gave, opened to him, arms clinging, nails scratching, voice sweet and low, muttering nonsense. And, whatever, it was his first time, yeah, but it was Ryan, too. It was fucking epic.
He lasted a little longer this time. Long enough to set up a nice rhythm and get Ryan moving with him-sharp, desperate snaps of his ass against Brendon’s thighs, feet hooked over Brendon’s ass. Long enough for Ryan to get off, scraping his teeth over Brendon’s throat hard enough to bruise.
It was the most satisfying thing he’d ever experienced, making Ryan Ross come, sticky on his hand and his stomach. It was the most satisfying thing until his own orgasm shook through him, taking him by complete surprise. He groaned Ryan’s name and slump over him, dead weight.
“Fuck. That was awesome,” Brendon said, when he had his breath back.
They kissed long and slow until Brendon became aware of the stickiness between them, and how Ryan must feel crushed beneath him. Ryan brushed a hand down his back and pressed a kiss into his shoulder blade.
Brendon rolled off him, curling up at his side. Ryan was too quiet, by far. “Was it…was it awesome?”
Ryan was using a corner of the sheet to wipe away the mess on his stomach. He gave Brendon a bland look. “I came,” he said, “You want a fucking standing ovation?” A smile tugged at his lips, and that told Brendon more than Ryan’s words ever would. He looked sated and happy. He dabbed between his legs and threw the sheet off the bed, his nose wrinkled in distaste. “You totally have to do Pete’s laundry, because there’s no way I’m explaining that,” Ryan said.
Brendon chuckled. “Are you kidding? He would totally throw me a party. Or we could blame it on, like, Bill. Pete would believe it.”
Ryan sighed in contentment and kissed the underside of Brendon’s jaw. Then he made a face and squirmed around like he was uncomfortable. “And next time we find time to find a condom. Fuck, I need a shower.” But he didn’t get up, just moved around until his back was spooned to Brendon’s front, their hands intertwined over Ryan’s stomach.
Brendon listened as Ryan’s breathing slowed down and evened out. He could feel the beat of Ryan’s heart where their hands touched and where his chin rested on Ryan’s shoulder. Despite the heavy thrum of the bass from downstairs, he let Ryan’s sounds lull him to sleep.
It later turned out that Pete didn’t believe that Bill had made the mess and he actually did throw Brendon a party. There were hats. And impromptu songs. And Brendon wasn’t sure whether he blushed more, or Ryan did. On the plus side, the romantic in Pete was a generous guy and made Patrick share his bed and let Brendon and Ryan have the master bedroom for the rest of their stay.
End story four
Go back to the last choice
Go back to the beginning.