Grass face
Alright, so the reason that I haven't posted in quite a while is that I have been working on a short story. I wanted to get that done and surprise everyone with a super-awesome post with a super-awesome story. Alas, like many projects that I undertake, I grew tired of it, and it now sits -- untouched -- in the hard drive of my computer. It's far ( Read more... )
You need to be either less popular or worldly renowned. Any stage in between would not suit you.
So, about the Charley Horse. Pickle Juice! Carry it with you. Around you neck. In a vile. Like Angelina's blood.
According to Slim Shady, a.k.a. Mr. John Goda, pickle juice counteracts the lactic acid in your muscular tissue which causes cramps.
Also, I have had a similar thing happen to me. Three times.
Case Number 1) I was snorkeling off the Great Barrier Reef and my right leg tightened up as if my musculars had been wound and twisted like rubber bands and were on the point of snapping. I lopsdedly treaded water for a few horrendous and genuinely scary moments while dodging hungry sea turtles until the pain went away.
Case Number 2) I was white water rafting and my guide let me take control of the vessel. I was seated astern, paddle in my hand, steering the small craft over the rapids. A sharp turn was needed. As I dug the blade into the seething waves, my lateral dorsi screamed in pain as if stabbed with white-hot porcupine quills. I felt as if the whole left side of my torso was now crunched into a ball of agony. Gritting my teeth, I kept the raft on course and barely managed to guide us past some jagged rocks.
Case Number 3) I was masturbating. I do so kneeling down. Well, round about wrap-up time my left leg, behind the knee, began to soasm and contract in fiendish agnony. Nonetheless, I finished what I had started. It was messy and painful and I hope it never happens again.
So, in conclusion, Hahahahaha!
I enjoyed reading about your painful experience. It is similar to reading a Greek myth in which one of the Gods gets hit by a bus and loses twenty bucks.
Every now and then we need to know that even Apollo can fall flat on his face.
-Partially Sympathetic, Rich OUT!
P.S. You need to marry Kristin.
Reply
That must have sucked in the water... I had a tough enough time on land.
I'm not Apollo.
I am marrying Kristi; I've already bought the ring.
Reply
Reply
haha and YES we ARE getting married.
everyone used to say we were going to when we were little
Reply
Leave a comment