"Dying Embers (2/3)", Twilight, PG-13, Leah/Bella.
Dying Embers
Part two
( part one | master post | part three)
The night before the battle was stormy. Which suited me in pretty much every respect.
I sat outside the tent and ignored the mumblings of Edward and Bella as snow and wind raged around me. Or, I ignored them until I could hear Bella shivering. Then I could hear nothing else. It wasn't fair. I had heat to spare, and Bella was freezing.
Edward's voice cut through the howling air. "You're right."
About? I thought.
"The heat."
Ah. I took the hint, changed to human, and put on some clothes. Everything was cold and wet, but bits of snow melted off as I walked toward the tent. Edward unzipped the door, and I could see the way Bella was hunched in a ball and trembling. A surge of panic hit me hard enough to hurt.
Why had I agreed to do this? Right. Sucker.
"Um," I said, climbing inside and zipping the tent. "How should I do this?"
"Probably skin contact."
"You okay with that, Bella?" I asked.
"I'm fine," Bella said curtly. Only it sounded as if "I" had four syllables and "fine" was in sixteen parts, so I laid behind her and touched my back to hers. I only felt cold parka, but Bella must've felt something, because she flipped over and wrapped her arms around me.
Happiness shot through me. I put my arms around her and ignored my feelings as best I could, which is to say, not at all. It made me tense up, which was okay because it would've been impossible to relax anyway. Even if your supposed soul mate was entwined with you, a reeking vampire wanting to tear your throat out wasn't exactly soothing.
"I don't want to tear your throat out," Edward said quietly. Probably too quiet for Bella to hear, but considering he had to speak up for me to hear over the wind outside, I wasn't sure.
Thanks, I thought. It was mildly sarcastic, but hey, at least I was keeping the woman he loved warm.
"But you want to kill me?" he asked.
Yes, I thought automatically, but with no rancor. In fact, with Bella snuggling into my shoulder and somewhat happy, I wasn't anything but pleased and calm. Too bad.
"Thank you," Edward muttered. "Jacob wouldn't have been this nice about it."
Guess he proved it already, didn't he?
"Yes."
The grogginess I hadn't had outside was starting to appear, and I sunk into the pocket of warmth I created by being next to Bella and the tent wall. I just hoped the leech wouldn't stare at me all night.
-
I woke the first minute Bella stirred in my arms the next morning. She gave me a smile without opening her eyes. It was too charming for words.
"Hey," she said, her voice fuzzy from sleep. "Thanks for keeping me from turning into an icicle."
"No problem."
Out of the corner of my eye, Edward was holding the same position he'd had all night. Figured. But Bella sat up, her hair messed up, and she gave him the most sickeningly sweet smile I'd ever seen. Even marble couldn't stand up to her, and he allowed a smile of his own.
I stretched. "So. We have time for breakfast before the big show?"
"We can eat," Bella said. "But maybe you should check in."
I nodded. "See you out there."
I slipped out the tent door and shed my clothes. The air was clear, and probably the sort of cold that came after a snowstorm, since the ground was covered by a good layer of white. But I never felt cold, and the freshness in the air was nice.
I took a breath and shifted.
Morning, Leah, Seth thought. I'm still coming up there, right?
Yep. Seth wasn't fond of the idea of staying behind with Brady and Rachel in La Push, and Sam didn't feel comfortable putting him on the front lines. So he got to share babysitting duty with me. I think we're having sandwiches.
Sweet! Save me some!
I could feel other wolves joining the mental link. How's it going, Sam?
We're moving into position, he thought, and the minds linked with his started to group together. But Alice isn't expecting action for another hour or so.
Cool. I'm gonna have breakfast.
Don't take too long.
I shifted back immediately. Ugh, Sam was so bossy when he was about to fight. He wasn't a big fan, but the thought of tearing into some vamps got my blood pumping. Too bad he was running the pack and I was the one here.
As soon as I'd put clothes back on, Bella and Edward emerged from the tent, holding hands. I wondered how Bella could grab onto a walking popsicle, particularly after she'd been so cold last night. But hey, it was her deal, not mine.
For Bella's benefit - I assumed Edward had listened in - I said, "Seth's on his way. He wants you to save some food for him."
Bella smiled. "Why do I think we have to save food for ourselves?"
We sat around the rocks, and in the blink of an eye, Edward passed out all the food we'd packed. Or rather, the blink of a human eye; Bella was amazed and pleased. I wasn't so impressed. I'd seen him do everything in super slow motion, even though he did it in the span of a couple heartbeats.
Between bites of food - on Bella's side, anyway- Edward and Bella chatted about their impending wedding. Bella shot me a sympathetic look when they started, but it wasn't as if I hadn't figured it out already. Bella seemed a lot more hesitant about the idea of a wedding than Edward. I wondered if Edward would drag her up the aisle if she wanted to back out.
I finished eating a sandwich and switched back to wolf form. Sam pounced on me at once.
We're a few minutes out, he thought. Seth there yet?
Almost! Seth thought. I took a peek out of his eyes, and I could see the rock features from down the mountain. And swaying trees up ahead.
As if on cue, I heard a twig snapping. I turned toward the sound and inhaled deeply, but I was upwind of whatever it was. Edward stood and balled his hands into fists, shooting me a glance.
I don't know, I thought.
He disappeared into the woods in an instant, and Bella jumped to her feet. "Where's he going?"
I couldn't answer with words, so I stepped between Bella and whatever the noise was.
"I asked him to stay with me," she said, her voice tense.
Suddenly, in my head, the pack jumped forward and attacked a wave of vampires, and the clashing in my head threw me for a moment. When I recovered, I thought, Do you see the leader?
A chorus of nos came back as trees in front of me jerked dramatically, and crashes rang through the forest. Bella's hands dug into my fur. I wanted to comfort her, but all I could do was move back and push her further away.
Dammit, Seth! I thought. Where are you?
Almost there!
He was coming from the east, and the fight was to the south. As the noises grew louder, I thought, Stay clear of the fight. I'll need your help if it makes it this far forward.
But Edward--
Can handle himself.
Seth increased his speed. The sounds grew distant again, and closer, and stopped entirely.
"Edward?" Bella called nervously.
Smoke started rising into the air, purple and dark. The part of me connected to Sam's head knew how vampires looked like when they burned; the pack had done it before I'd joined.
But who'd lost?
We got our answer in seconds as a woman walked through the woods, with blood-red hair and a smile so wide it nearly split her face.
"Victoria," Bella said, her voice full of anguish.
The leech's eyes flickered toward me, and back up to Bella. She spoke, and her voice was oddly high-pitched.
"I wanted him to live," she said, "so he could feel the loss of his mate. But I take my shots when I get them."
"You're lying," Bella whispered.
Victoria bared her teeth, but before she could speak again or take any action, Seth launched out of the woods and ran square into Victoria. That was my cue, so I shot forward as well, even as I could feel Bella try to pull me back.
The vampire fought dirty. She punched Seth in the eye, and he whimpered, but I got hold of her shoulder and buried my teeth in, to dislodge an arm. It worked, but she dodged before I could get something else and tried to make a run for it. But Seth recovered enough to cut her off, and he bit square into his torso as she tried to wrap her arms around his waist. He had to pull back, but the injury slowed her, and she whirled, ready to take us on.
The smell of blood filled the air, and Victoria's head snapped over.
Bella clutched a rock in her right hand, and a stream of blood ran down her left arm.
I don't know how it would've looked without the imprinting, but as it was, I could read everything Bella felt in her face. Her grief. Her fury. And most of all, the urge to get something back, even as it meant her own vein opened and the liquid inside spilled onto the ground.
Victoria lunged, but I was ready for her.
I pounced, and with a quick motion, I ripped Victoria's head off her neck. Seth jumped not long after and began taking off her other limbs. She hadn't even had a chance to make noise in protest.
The second I had a moment to breathe, I thought at Seth, Take these to the fire?
Yeah, he thought, sensing my real question. I'll let you know.
He grabbed the head and the arms, since he only had so much mouth and those were the dangerous parts. I checked in with the pack. They were taking down the last couple newborns happily; apparently, they'd had no problems.
Bella still stood in the defiant position she'd been in earlier, clutching the rock she'd used to cut her arm. She didn't seem to notice my presence. I walked over and nudged her leg with my nose.
She whispered without turning her face up. "Edward?"
Seth? I thought.
He approached the fire. I could see, in his mind, the pieces of vampires burning in the middle. He flung the parts of Victoria in, and he caught sight of reddish hair attached to a different head.
Victoria was right, he thought, surprised. And then he was sad. Poor Bella.
Bella saw it in my face somehow. Or maybe it was the way I tensed when I heard. Either way, she backed off one step, a second step, and slumped to the ground, almost as if she was checking to see if the planet was still beneath her. I didn't know whether to back off or get close.
Luckily, Sam made the decision for me.
Leah! he thought in a rush. I hadn't been paying attention, so he got me up to speed: the fight was over, and the Volturi were closing in. The Cullens needed Bella, and we needed to leave.
Got it, I thought. I knelt next to Bella and whined, but she didn't acknowledge me.
With a mental sigh, I changed back and covered myself up with my arms. I didn't have time for my clothes. "Bella. Can you hear me?"
"I wanted him to stay with me," she whispered. "Why did he run off?"
"Bella, we need to get to the clearing."
She raised watery eyes. "Why?"
I didn't have an answer for the question she was actually asking. I didn't try to come up with one. "It's the Volturi."
She stared off into space. I stepped back to change, and once I was a wolf again, Bella pulled herself onto my back. I ran off into the woods and waited to feel Bella crying or sobbing or...something.
But she stayed motionless the entire time.
-
Leaving Bella with the Cullens wasn't pleasant, but I didn't have time to linger, and truth be told, I really wanted to go back to La Push. Since we'd addressed the major threat, we could relax - at least for a couple days, knowing the way we lived - and take a break from patrolling every hour of the day. The urge to shift was too much to ignore, but if I didn't have to spend time as a wolf constantly, it would be easier.
My vision disappeared the minute Rachel came into our heads and met up with us.
What are you doing here? Sam asked. I told you to stay in town!
You could've USED me, Rachel thought angrily. Everyone else groaned, and from their thoughts, I pieced together memories of a fight they'd had while I'd been asleep with Bella. Apparently, she hadn't been okay with staying behind. Even as a rear guard.
You're inexperienced.
And you're Mister Wisdom? How long have you been doing this, a year?
It's experience you don't have.
Because you won't let me have it. And you won't let me go back to school.
Lay off, Jared thought, tired. We all got this when we first started.
You can't go back to school because you'll have nowhere to change, Sam thought. You'll give us all up.
Is that it? Or are you jealous because I can leave and you can't?
You can't leave.
Watch me.
With that, she disappeared from our heads. Even though she was right in front of us. The entire pack skidded to a stop, and Rachel kept running.
Rachel! Sam bellowed loudly. What did you do?
I waited for an answer, but although she rounded and bared her teeth, Rachel didn't speak in our heads. Still, Sam had heard something - I hadn't been paying enough attention to get it from his thoughts - so he kept communicating with her.
You want to challenge me? he snarled. I was a good hundred feet away, but his actual growl rumbled the ground. I circled in closer and saw Rachel backing off, her head tilted in confusion. I listened to Sam for her reply.
But Rachel didn't say anything else. Instead, she turned tail and ran the opposite direction.
On impulse, I broke ranks and followed.
Leah! Sam thought. Where are you going?
I wanna see something. Hang on.
I ran to Rachel, exhilaration pulsing through my veins. Could this be it? Finally?
Wait! I called out. I wasn't sure she could hear me, but I didn't know what else to do. If I changed to human, she might not stop. Rachel!
Leah? she thought, surprised.
Rachel was the only voice in my head. It worked. My tail wagged so hard, I could've been a dog.
You broke from the pack! I said as Rachel stopped. And I broke with you!
Wait. What?
It totally makes sense, I thought. You're a Black. Goddamn, this is awesome!
Rachel's ears drooped. Sam nearly killed me back there.
It's okay, I thought. We've got some distance now. We'll hear if they're coming.
No, you don't get it. He wanted to fight, and...my body wanted to fight too.
Huh. Must be some kind of alpha thing. I froze as my train of thought continued. Oh no.
Oh what?
If you guys wanted to fight each other...
Yeah?
It's not gonna be safe in La Push. For either of you. If I'd been human, I would've winced. Or me.
Crap, Rachel thought.
No kidding. Let's move!
I started running, and Rachel pushed to keep up with me. Branches cracked a few dozen feet behind me. I jolted, and as I swung left to get some space, Rachel moved to avoid me.
What? she thought.
I heard something. Go faster!
Wait! This was a new voice, but familiar. Slow down, you guys are faster than me!
SETH? I thought, skidding to a stop. What the hell are you doing?
He crossed over the landing, tongue hanging out of his mouth. Coming with you guys. What do you think?
No, you're not, I thought. You're going back. Mom'll kill us.
We can't go into La Push right now, Rachel thought. Well, I can't, and Leah's old enough to make up her own mind. You're--
Just a kid? Like you're inexperienced, Rachel? He snorted.
Why did you leave? she asked.
Seth gave the equivalent of a mental shrug. Dunno. It felt right, you know? The pack's too big, and I didn't wanna stay without you, Leah.
As much as I hated to admit it, Seth's admission made me all warm and fuzzy. He was a sweet guy, when he wasn't an annoying brat.
Even though you can hear all my thoughts? I asked.
It's not that bad, Leah.
But Seth, Rachel thought, you're underage. So go home, or...
Or? You'll order me?
No, Rachel sighed, and for a second, she sounded exactly like Jacob. Who, I was pleased to realize, wasn't attached to us mentally anymore. Freaking sweet.
Howls sounded from the other side of the ridge, and they didn't sound particularly happy. Rachel started running again.
Right toward the Cullen border.
Rachel, wait! I thought, panicked. I chased after her. We can't go back on the Cullens' land now! We don't know--
Where are we supposed to go? she thought. The others need to cool down, and we don't have anywhere to go.
Rachel crossed the line. I blinked, and right away, two vampires snarled right in front of us. Jasper and Emmett, if I remembered right. I skidded to a stop and whined, and Rachel stopped at my warning right before she would've rammed into their legs. She backed up fast.
"What," Jasper said, cold and quiet, "are you doing here?"
Someone had to change to answer, and Rachel and Seth didn't seem inclined to answer. I shifted and grabbed my clothes as fast as I could. This would be a good chance to jump me, but there was no way in hell I'd be naked in front of them.
"We're having some pack trouble," I said, pulling on sweatpants, "and Rachel didn't know the border. We'll leave."
"Not until you give her back," Jasper snarled.
"Give who back?"
"Don't screw with us," Emmett said. "We followed her trail."
My brain put two and two together. "Bella's gone?"
Another couple vampires appeared in a blur. We were outnumbered. Great.
"Wolves. Of course." Alice put her hands on her hips. "What's going on?"
"Hello, Leah," Esme said. Her face was as soft as a vampire's could be. "Can we search the La Push area?"
I frowned. "Why?"
"I can't see where Bella went." Alice frowned. "I know she drove in this direction because I can smell her truck, but she still isn't in my vision. Which either means she's dead, or she's in La Push."
At the word "dead", I flinched. "She's alive."
"How do you know?" Emmett said, but not with malice. A little challenging, but he struck me as the kind of guy who enjoyed fighting. "You have a special Bella beacon we don't know about?"
"Sort of."
Alice's eyes narrowed, but she let it drop. "Well? Either someone needs to check La Push, or we need to go."
"You should stay," I said. "It wouldn't be safe for you guys normally, but now..."
"What?"
I winced and glanced at Rachel. She was our new alpha; she should be handling this. But she shook her head, and I sighed.
"We split," I said. "This is our new pack. Sam might be our enemy now."
The vampires stilled.
"What?" Esme said. "Did you have a disagreement?"
"Yeah." No one spoke, and I realized what they want to know: if they were in for a fight. "It's not really dangerous to anyone outside the pack. It's just drama."
"Great," Jasper said, scowling. "Just what we need."
"It'll be fine," Esme said, pulling out a cell phone. "I need to talk to Carlisle, and we'll make a new plan."
I frowned. "You waited for us?"
"We smelled you," Emmett said. "We came up with it last minute."
I noticed my hands shook. I clenched them over my chest and tried to ignore how terrible I felt.
"Okay," I said. "What if we searched for Bella?"
Esme's brow furrowed. "We don't want to get in the way."
"We don't have time," Alice said, in a quiet voice. Someone not supernatural might not have been able to hear her. But I did, and I didn't miss the look Jasper shot her after I said it.
"You don't?" I asked. "Why?"
"It's none of your business," Jasper said sharply.
But Esme was eying me, and I had the feeling she noticed my stressed appearance. It wasn't hard to pick up on. "The Volturi are threatening to attack."
I frowned. "Why? The newborns are gone."
"Bella and I went to Italy to save Edward a little while back," Alice said with a sigh. "We attracted the Volturi, and they said we had to turn her or kill her. They're antsy about her continued humanity."
It was my turn to gape. "Wait, you have to find her...to turn her?"
"It's not--" Esme began.
I was shaking again, but more from the urge to change. And man, did it take every ounce of discipline to keep from doing it. "You're forcing her?"
"No, no!" Esme said. "But if the Volturi come back, and they don't find her..."
"And if they think she crossed into La Push, and they come across the wolves?" Alice added.
"They don't like shifters," Jasper said. "At all."
My mind spun. I didn't know much about vampire politics, but a human in the know in enemy territory sounded like an act of war to me.
Behind me, Seth whined. I didn't turn to him or Rachel. Complications or not, this was clear-cut.
"All right," I said. "We'll go, and we'll bring her to your house if we find her."
"I can give you my number," Esme said, holding up her cell. "You don't need to come to us."
I gave a tight smile. "I don't exactly have access to a phone."
"It's not safe," Alice said. "If the Volturi came back, and found you..."
"We can't exactly go to Bella's, either," I said. "It's a risk, no matter where we meet up. Even if we send Bella back in her truck alone. We can handle it if you can."
Everyone exchanged looks. Finally, Emmett and Jasper nodded and disappeared. Alice smiled. "Thanks for your help."
"Least I could do," I said as casually as I could manage.
"If you need help," Esme said, frowning, "I don't want you to be homeless."
Great, vampire charity. "We'll figure it out later."
Esme and Alice ran off. I shed my clothes and shifted again.
As if this didn't suck enough already, Rachel thought.
You said it.
Of course, the only one bright and eager was none other than my little brother, who practically bounced with excitement. Let's do this!
-
It took some time to find a crossing point. The original pack outnumbered us by a lot, and they covered most of the boundary. They also howled and snarled and called for our attention. Which pissed me off more and more as time passed.
But after nearly a half-hour of dancing around, Rachel hit on the solution.
Let's give ‘em what they want, she thought. I talk to Sam. Seth comes with me. You sneak in, and if they ask, we say you're watching our backs.
It was a good plan. And I really did want to be alone, so I had no objections to the lack of backup. If you're sure.
Yeah, totally. We shouldn't be fighting with a big threat anyway.
Only one thought gave me pause. You won't try to reintegrate, will you?
Rachel snorted. Hardly. Sam's not the guy I want to work under, you know?
More than you know.
Seth nudged me with his nose. Good luck, Leah. Don't get your throat torn out.
I think you have to worry more about me tearing out someone's throat, I thought. But yeah. Don't get killed either.
They ran off, and I listened to both packs' movements and waited.
Doubt started to creep in. Where would Bella be? Not the Blacks' house; Jacob was still off in Montana or Canada or wherever he'd decided to linger this time, and Bella hadn't seen Rachel in years, from what I knew. Beyond Jake, she didn't have reason to go elsewhere in La Push. So where?
Rachel? It was Sam's voice, in Rachel's head. There was my opportunity.
I crossed the boundary line and ran full-tilt for the town. I was downwind from the pack, and they couldn't hear me. It'd have to be good enough. I'd have to hope--
Before I could even finish the thought, a wolf came running by; Brady, by the looks of things. I stopped and crouched in bushes. I hoped he didn't pick up my scent, but he didn't entirely seem as if he was searching for it. He slumped along toward La Push at a slow rate.
Seth followed my train of thought. Sam probably sent him back. Wait 'til he's out of sight, then make a run for it.
But we're going the same place.
Give him space. He'll never notice.
I hoped he was right. But Brady wasn't the type to pick fights anyway, and I'd win if he did.
He disappeared behind the trees, and I circled around him and into the city limits.
La Push was quiet. Not even troublemakers took advantage of Sam's absence, from what I could hear. Where could Bella be?
I stopped near my house and stared toward the ocean; I was close enough to hear the lapping water, even if we didn't have beachfront property. The sound triggered a memory of one of Jacob's memories. He and Bella always hung out on one particular stretch of beach by the Black house. But it couldn't be that obvious, could it?
Rachel laughed in my head. I bet it's exactly that obvious. Jake's not a subtle guy.
I smirked mentally, and made for the beach.
Sure enough, as I closed in on a piece of driftwood several hundred feet from the Black house, the burning smell of vampire made it to my nose. As I focused, I could see a bulky figure sitting on the wood. Bella wore several thick layers; apparently, she'd stolen clothes from the Cullens. She'd thought ahead.
I was quiet, but apparently, not quiet enough. Bella stiffened and called, "Who's there?"
Before I answered, I shifted and pulled on my clothes. My feet were moist from the forest, and I was tracking sand into my jeans, which I hated. But it was not the time to be naked. "Leah Clearwater."
Bella turned as I put my shirt in place. "Leah. What are you doing here?"
"Long story," I said, walking toward her. "The Cullens are looking for you."
"They are." It was flat, distant.
I didn't know what to do. I was out of my depth, and really, it'd be best to give the Cullens' message and get back to protecting my own hide. But my body ached for her in a way I hadn't quite ached before, not even with Sam, and I wanted to make it stop. I had to try something.
"Mind if I sit?" I asked.
She nodded, and shifted to allow me room. I sat, and stared out at the water, nearly black in the post-sunset gloom.
"I came to see Jake," she said in a quiet voice. "I forgot."
"Yeah. Sorry about that."
"Why are you sorry?"
"He acted because he saw me as a threat."
"Are you a threat?"
I snorted. "Depends. You think leaving you alone is a threat?"
Bella was quiet for a moment, and she said, "Being alone...it's hard."
I wanted to apologize again. But it wasn't my fault Edward was dead. It wasn't anyone's fault but Victoria's, and possibly Edward's decision to charge into a fight. Or was I absolving myself because I was glad Edward was out of the way?
Whatever. Selfish or not, my thoughts didn't really matter here. "So what are you going to do?"
Bella stared at me intently. I didn't return her look; I wouldn't be able to curb my own intensity if I did. "You won't drag me back?"
"I don't know," I said. "I should. If the Volturi find you here, they could kill everyone."
"So why don't you?" Her voice was anguished.
"Because I figure, something life-changing like being a lee--" I stopped myself. "Vampire? You should choose, if you can."
"But I can't choose. They're forcing it on me."
"They?" Was she pissed at the Cullens? I'd love a chance at them.
"The Volturi."
Darn. "So the Cullens aren't pressuring you?"
Bella let out a shuddering breath. "I wish they would. I owe them so much."
"You don't owe them anything," I said, and I was surprised at the heat in my voice. "They exposed you to this. You'll be doing them a big favor, and not the other way around."
Bella didn't answer for a minute, and my skin heated with embarrassment. Maybe I'd overstepped.
"I'm going to do it," Bella said. "Even without Edward, I have to."
"What? Why?"
"Because I won't expose everyone to the Volturi. Not my dad, and not you guys."
It made sense. And I'd known what she was going to say, but still, I pictured her pale and statue-like and smelling of predator and death, and I wanted to...I don't know. Not get mad, because of the imprinting. But not be happy.
"This isn't exactly a safe spot," I said. "It might do some good to do your thinking somewhere else."
"Are you kicking me out?"
I laughed wryly. "I don't have the authority. Especially now. I have to leave myself."
Bella sniffled, and thanks to the rising moon, I could see her brush tears off her cheeks. "You do?"
I nodded. "Pack crap. We don't wait for the vampire crap to end."
"It isn't...I didn't..."
"No, no. Completely unrelated."
Bella stood and brushed off her clothes. She took two steps, and stopped. "Leah?"
I stood so fast, blood rushed to my head. "Yeah?"
"Will you...come with me?"
The head rush was replaced by elation so strong, I tingled from head to toe. "Where?"
"To the Cullens."
Bye-bye elation. "I wish I could."
She looked at me over her shoulder. A breeze blew locks of hair around her face, and the moonlight made her tear-filled eyes shine. She could've said anything, and I would've done it.
But she didn't say just anything. "I don't want to be alone for my last night."
"You're..." The words stuck in my throat. "Tomorrow?"
"Why wait?"
A million reasons popped into my head. To say goodbye to Charlie, her mom, and her human friends. To eat something tasty for the last time. To enjoy a sunny day. Something. But I opened my mouth and nothing came out.
"It all seems different now," Bella said. "Like I'm actually giving something up. It never felt that way with Edward."
She bit her lip and stared at the ground. With a shake of her head and a hard swallow, she started walking up toward the road, where her truck was parked.
"This is epically stupid," I muttered. "Clean break. Say goodbye and leave her with the leeches."
But to leave Bella alone was worse than putting up with vampires. And as much as I hated it, I'd have plenty of time to be alone after today.
I jogged after her.
-
"Thank goodness!" Alice danced up to the truck in her delicate way. Even with a vaguely subdued manner, which I guessed was because of Edward's death, she was brighter than she'd been in the woods. It didn't stop her from throwing me a flat look. "We thought something happened."
Bella slumped out of the truck, and I followed suit. I did my best not to wince at Alice's smell.
"Sorry," Bella said, "I needed time to myself."
"You should eat something. I always forget how much you need to eat, and I can't remember the last time you did."
Bella stiffened. I couldn't imagine why. "I'm fine. I'll be drinking blood in a couple days anyway."
Alice raised an eyebrow. "I guess you're hanging around?"
"She asked," I said, "but if it's a problem..."
Esme and Carlisle came out of the house together, holding hands. Gag me.
"It's not a problem," Esme said, smiling. "I'm so glad you found her."
I shrugged. "She came because she wanted to. I had nothing to do with it."
"I want to go to bed," Bella said.
Carlisle nodded. "Of course. I have everything ready when you are."
Bella went in the house, and I stayed at her side, not saying a word. I wanted to talk - I could have used a little distraction from the awful stench - but the sight of Bella in the light killed the urge. I could see her puffy red eyes, her distant stare, the lack of color in her skin. She seemed half-dead already. I couldn't help but think she'd seem more resilient as a vampire.
God. What a thought.
We went upstairs and into a room with a canopy bed. Bella stopped in the doorway and regarded it with watery eyes.
I slid around her and ran my hands over the dark purple comforter. The rest of the house was had a grossly pale color scheme, so I liked the change. "Huh. Soft."
"Yeah," Bella said. "It's pretty nice."
She closed the door and climbed into the bed. She didn't bother to take off her shoes, and I could see mud smeared on the sheets before she pulled the comforter back up. But hey, the Cullens could get the bed specially cleaned. Or replace it altogether. It made my lip curl a little. I had only one set of clothes, and I hadn't washed them in days.
Oh well. At least I didn't have to suck down blood cots to live.
I sat on the comforter next to Bella. "What do you want me to do?" I asked quietly.
"I don't know," Bella said, biting her lip. "You mind sharing a bed?"
I sniffed experimentally. There was a bit of a Cullen stink, but nothing too bad. Apparently, none of the leeches used the bed.
"Nah," I said. "But if the room across the hall was a bathroom, I should clean up."
"Okay."
"Will you be okay by..." Oops. Probably shouldn't remind her she was solo. "Um, here?"
"Yeah."
I went to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. I won't lie; the shower was so great, it felt positively sinful. I had to put on my dirty clothes again - no way I'd wear the smelly crap the Cullens had lying around - and I couldn't use a towel, but I dripped back into the bedroom and climbed into the bed once I was done.
Bella wasn't asleep. I'd kind of hoped she would be, but she stared at me with lifeless brown eyes as I settled in.
"I'll give them this much," I said. "The Cullens know showers. And beds."
"Yeah, they do."
She sidled up next to me, and her skin was even chillier with the snug sheets and the leftover heat from the shower. Without thinking, I slung an arm around her shoulders. Just as I realized what I'd done, and before I could pull back, she drew in closer.
It was a bad idea. I knew it. There was BS about the imprinting being flexible, about being whatever the person needed, but there was nothing flexible about the happiness and calm settling over me. There was also no way I could move away, since Bella was the one who'd acted. Edward wasn't lurking in the corner anymore.
She wants me here, I thought. It can't be what I want it to be.
"I don't know if I want to sleep," she murmured into my arm. "If I dream...if I have nightmares…"
"I'll be here," I whispered.
She continued as if I wasn't there. "But this is the last time I'll be able to sleep. And if I dream of him, I can't let it go."
Maybe Edward was lurking after all.
"What would you do?" she asked.
I couldn't tell her I wouldn't do any of this. It wouldn't help. "Try to sleep."
Bella adjusted the comforter so it was up closer to her chin. I warmed up the bed quite a bit, but she shivered and drew closer.
"Warm enough?" I asked.
"Yeah."
Bella laid a kiss on my arm, and my skin tingled. I kissed her on top of the head.
Whatever the night was, and whatever I thought I wanted, I knew there wasn't anything more perfect than lying with Bella next to me. Accepting it was apparently what I'd needed because I relaxed, and all the stress of the last few days left my body.
I fell asleep.
-
My dream was filled with golden light. I ran, wolf and woman in one. One moment, my feet had pads; the next, I felt dirt and leaves against my skin. Once I reached the shore at La Push - it was the stretch near Jacob's house, but minus the buildings I was used to - I was fully human, and wearing silky pants and a thin tank top.
Bella stood on the beach. She was the same as always, but with red eyes and a slight sparkle to her skin.
"I love you," she said.
I closed the distance between us, and we kissed. She was warm and soft under my hands, as if we were both human. I could feel fangs in her mouth, and I pulled back, confused. She wasn't Dracula, and sparkle monsters don't have fangs. Bella pulled away from my touch.
"Don't leave me," I said. My heart sped in my chest.
The sea grew completely still behind Bella, and she smiled. Her face was right in front of me, but she seemed a million miles away.
"I love you," she said, as if she was yelling from a great distance.
We tumbled to the ground - which was covered in grass now - and we kissed with more urgency. My blood heated as we pressed together, and as Bella moved her mouth to my throat, I cried out from the pain in my chest.
"It hurts," I gasped.
"Wait," she said. "It'll get better."
The pain grew until I couldn't stand it anymore.
And I woke up, panting.
It was daylight, and I was bathed in sunlight. I could see treetops and blue skies straight ahead, broken up slightly by the occasional cloud.
When did I get outside?
My nostrils flared, and I grimaced as vampire smell sluiced forward. The room around me focused. I hadn't noticed, with my preoccupations the night before, but the bedroom had a wall of bare windows, letting in the outside scene.
I pressed a hand to my chest and breathed as well as I could. It was hard; my lungs felt like they'd shrunk. Or as if something squeezed them. But the more I breathed, the more I relaxed.
Until I let my hand drop, and my hand touched sheet instead of skin.
"Bella?" I said, confused.
"She's downstairs."
Rosalie stood the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. Her face was blank.
"Oh," I said, and I touched my chest again. "She started."
Rosalie nodded once. "She wanted someone to tell you."
"How...how is she?"
"As well as anyone can be, I guess."
My hearing extended for a moment, and I could hear others walking around in the house. But I pulled back as quickly as I could. If Bella was suffering in any way, I couldn't hear it.
"I guess I'll get going," I said, pushing out of the bed. "I should see how the pack is."
Rosalie held up her hands as if she didn't give a crap. She probably didn't. "Esme said you can come back at any time."
"How did you get to be the messenger?"
"Everyone else is either keeping an eye on Bella, or hunting. I hunted yesterday."
Ask a stupid question. "Thanks."
She nodded and left.
The pain in my chest spread to my arms, to my stomach, and on, until I was hunched over. Sam had said I would be in pain. Was this some imprinting thing? Or was the thought of Bella dying finally catching up with me? My body felt there was only one person for me, and I was starting to realize nothing could change that reaction. I'd pine for Bella like I pined for Sam, only there was no chance of moving on.
It was the end.
"No," I whispered.
I shoved the sheets away from me. They clung to my feet, and I kicked them away. I flung myself out of bed, and I breathed hard. My eyes fell on the imprint Bella had left in the sheet, and I shook my head, grit my teeth, and forced back the tightness in my throat and the stinging in my eyes.
No. This was no end. I wouldn't let it be.
I ran down the stairs and out the front door as quickly as I could, which was fast, if not quite as fast in human form. I wanted to make the tree line before I did anything else, but I'd go for a good run as a wolf, and I'd figure things out. It'd be okay.
But before I made it out of the Cullens' driveway, I stumbled over a body.
He stared off into space like he was zoned out in class. He seemed young enough to be in high school. But his skin was blue, and he had a savage-looking bite mark on his neck. It didn't stop me from pressing fingers to his throat, but he was dead.
A note was affixed to his shirt. Carlisle's name was scrawled across the top in a fancy cursive, so it wasn't for me, but I was far past polite at this point. I pushed the paper open with shaking hands.
We're coming, the inside read, in the same handwriting.
"Fuck," I said.
( part one | master post | part three)
Part two
( part one | master post | part three)
The night before the battle was stormy. Which suited me in pretty much every respect.
I sat outside the tent and ignored the mumblings of Edward and Bella as snow and wind raged around me. Or, I ignored them until I could hear Bella shivering. Then I could hear nothing else. It wasn't fair. I had heat to spare, and Bella was freezing.
Edward's voice cut through the howling air. "You're right."
About? I thought.
"The heat."
Ah. I took the hint, changed to human, and put on some clothes. Everything was cold and wet, but bits of snow melted off as I walked toward the tent. Edward unzipped the door, and I could see the way Bella was hunched in a ball and trembling. A surge of panic hit me hard enough to hurt.
Why had I agreed to do this? Right. Sucker.
"Um," I said, climbing inside and zipping the tent. "How should I do this?"
"Probably skin contact."
"You okay with that, Bella?" I asked.
"I'm fine," Bella said curtly. Only it sounded as if "I" had four syllables and "fine" was in sixteen parts, so I laid behind her and touched my back to hers. I only felt cold parka, but Bella must've felt something, because she flipped over and wrapped her arms around me.
Happiness shot through me. I put my arms around her and ignored my feelings as best I could, which is to say, not at all. It made me tense up, which was okay because it would've been impossible to relax anyway. Even if your supposed soul mate was entwined with you, a reeking vampire wanting to tear your throat out wasn't exactly soothing.
"I don't want to tear your throat out," Edward said quietly. Probably too quiet for Bella to hear, but considering he had to speak up for me to hear over the wind outside, I wasn't sure.
Thanks, I thought. It was mildly sarcastic, but hey, at least I was keeping the woman he loved warm.
"But you want to kill me?" he asked.
Yes, I thought automatically, but with no rancor. In fact, with Bella snuggling into my shoulder and somewhat happy, I wasn't anything but pleased and calm. Too bad.
"Thank you," Edward muttered. "Jacob wouldn't have been this nice about it."
Guess he proved it already, didn't he?
"Yes."
The grogginess I hadn't had outside was starting to appear, and I sunk into the pocket of warmth I created by being next to Bella and the tent wall. I just hoped the leech wouldn't stare at me all night.
-
I woke the first minute Bella stirred in my arms the next morning. She gave me a smile without opening her eyes. It was too charming for words.
"Hey," she said, her voice fuzzy from sleep. "Thanks for keeping me from turning into an icicle."
"No problem."
Out of the corner of my eye, Edward was holding the same position he'd had all night. Figured. But Bella sat up, her hair messed up, and she gave him the most sickeningly sweet smile I'd ever seen. Even marble couldn't stand up to her, and he allowed a smile of his own.
I stretched. "So. We have time for breakfast before the big show?"
"We can eat," Bella said. "But maybe you should check in."
I nodded. "See you out there."
I slipped out the tent door and shed my clothes. The air was clear, and probably the sort of cold that came after a snowstorm, since the ground was covered by a good layer of white. But I never felt cold, and the freshness in the air was nice.
I took a breath and shifted.
Morning, Leah, Seth thought. I'm still coming up there, right?
Yep. Seth wasn't fond of the idea of staying behind with Brady and Rachel in La Push, and Sam didn't feel comfortable putting him on the front lines. So he got to share babysitting duty with me. I think we're having sandwiches.
Sweet! Save me some!
I could feel other wolves joining the mental link. How's it going, Sam?
We're moving into position, he thought, and the minds linked with his started to group together. But Alice isn't expecting action for another hour or so.
Cool. I'm gonna have breakfast.
Don't take too long.
I shifted back immediately. Ugh, Sam was so bossy when he was about to fight. He wasn't a big fan, but the thought of tearing into some vamps got my blood pumping. Too bad he was running the pack and I was the one here.
As soon as I'd put clothes back on, Bella and Edward emerged from the tent, holding hands. I wondered how Bella could grab onto a walking popsicle, particularly after she'd been so cold last night. But hey, it was her deal, not mine.
For Bella's benefit - I assumed Edward had listened in - I said, "Seth's on his way. He wants you to save some food for him."
Bella smiled. "Why do I think we have to save food for ourselves?"
We sat around the rocks, and in the blink of an eye, Edward passed out all the food we'd packed. Or rather, the blink of a human eye; Bella was amazed and pleased. I wasn't so impressed. I'd seen him do everything in super slow motion, even though he did it in the span of a couple heartbeats.
Between bites of food - on Bella's side, anyway- Edward and Bella chatted about their impending wedding. Bella shot me a sympathetic look when they started, but it wasn't as if I hadn't figured it out already. Bella seemed a lot more hesitant about the idea of a wedding than Edward. I wondered if Edward would drag her up the aisle if she wanted to back out.
I finished eating a sandwich and switched back to wolf form. Sam pounced on me at once.
We're a few minutes out, he thought. Seth there yet?
Almost! Seth thought. I took a peek out of his eyes, and I could see the rock features from down the mountain. And swaying trees up ahead.
As if on cue, I heard a twig snapping. I turned toward the sound and inhaled deeply, but I was upwind of whatever it was. Edward stood and balled his hands into fists, shooting me a glance.
I don't know, I thought.
He disappeared into the woods in an instant, and Bella jumped to her feet. "Where's he going?"
I couldn't answer with words, so I stepped between Bella and whatever the noise was.
"I asked him to stay with me," she said, her voice tense.
Suddenly, in my head, the pack jumped forward and attacked a wave of vampires, and the clashing in my head threw me for a moment. When I recovered, I thought, Do you see the leader?
A chorus of nos came back as trees in front of me jerked dramatically, and crashes rang through the forest. Bella's hands dug into my fur. I wanted to comfort her, but all I could do was move back and push her further away.
Dammit, Seth! I thought. Where are you?
Almost there!
He was coming from the east, and the fight was to the south. As the noises grew louder, I thought, Stay clear of the fight. I'll need your help if it makes it this far forward.
But Edward--
Can handle himself.
Seth increased his speed. The sounds grew distant again, and closer, and stopped entirely.
"Edward?" Bella called nervously.
Smoke started rising into the air, purple and dark. The part of me connected to Sam's head knew how vampires looked like when they burned; the pack had done it before I'd joined.
But who'd lost?
We got our answer in seconds as a woman walked through the woods, with blood-red hair and a smile so wide it nearly split her face.
"Victoria," Bella said, her voice full of anguish.
The leech's eyes flickered toward me, and back up to Bella. She spoke, and her voice was oddly high-pitched.
"I wanted him to live," she said, "so he could feel the loss of his mate. But I take my shots when I get them."
"You're lying," Bella whispered.
Victoria bared her teeth, but before she could speak again or take any action, Seth launched out of the woods and ran square into Victoria. That was my cue, so I shot forward as well, even as I could feel Bella try to pull me back.
The vampire fought dirty. She punched Seth in the eye, and he whimpered, but I got hold of her shoulder and buried my teeth in, to dislodge an arm. It worked, but she dodged before I could get something else and tried to make a run for it. But Seth recovered enough to cut her off, and he bit square into his torso as she tried to wrap her arms around his waist. He had to pull back, but the injury slowed her, and she whirled, ready to take us on.
The smell of blood filled the air, and Victoria's head snapped over.
Bella clutched a rock in her right hand, and a stream of blood ran down her left arm.
I don't know how it would've looked without the imprinting, but as it was, I could read everything Bella felt in her face. Her grief. Her fury. And most of all, the urge to get something back, even as it meant her own vein opened and the liquid inside spilled onto the ground.
Victoria lunged, but I was ready for her.
I pounced, and with a quick motion, I ripped Victoria's head off her neck. Seth jumped not long after and began taking off her other limbs. She hadn't even had a chance to make noise in protest.
The second I had a moment to breathe, I thought at Seth, Take these to the fire?
Yeah, he thought, sensing my real question. I'll let you know.
He grabbed the head and the arms, since he only had so much mouth and those were the dangerous parts. I checked in with the pack. They were taking down the last couple newborns happily; apparently, they'd had no problems.
Bella still stood in the defiant position she'd been in earlier, clutching the rock she'd used to cut her arm. She didn't seem to notice my presence. I walked over and nudged her leg with my nose.
She whispered without turning her face up. "Edward?"
Seth? I thought.
He approached the fire. I could see, in his mind, the pieces of vampires burning in the middle. He flung the parts of Victoria in, and he caught sight of reddish hair attached to a different head.
Victoria was right, he thought, surprised. And then he was sad. Poor Bella.
Bella saw it in my face somehow. Or maybe it was the way I tensed when I heard. Either way, she backed off one step, a second step, and slumped to the ground, almost as if she was checking to see if the planet was still beneath her. I didn't know whether to back off or get close.
Luckily, Sam made the decision for me.
Leah! he thought in a rush. I hadn't been paying attention, so he got me up to speed: the fight was over, and the Volturi were closing in. The Cullens needed Bella, and we needed to leave.
Got it, I thought. I knelt next to Bella and whined, but she didn't acknowledge me.
With a mental sigh, I changed back and covered myself up with my arms. I didn't have time for my clothes. "Bella. Can you hear me?"
"I wanted him to stay with me," she whispered. "Why did he run off?"
"Bella, we need to get to the clearing."
She raised watery eyes. "Why?"
I didn't have an answer for the question she was actually asking. I didn't try to come up with one. "It's the Volturi."
She stared off into space. I stepped back to change, and once I was a wolf again, Bella pulled herself onto my back. I ran off into the woods and waited to feel Bella crying or sobbing or...something.
But she stayed motionless the entire time.
-
Leaving Bella with the Cullens wasn't pleasant, but I didn't have time to linger, and truth be told, I really wanted to go back to La Push. Since we'd addressed the major threat, we could relax - at least for a couple days, knowing the way we lived - and take a break from patrolling every hour of the day. The urge to shift was too much to ignore, but if I didn't have to spend time as a wolf constantly, it would be easier.
My vision disappeared the minute Rachel came into our heads and met up with us.
What are you doing here? Sam asked. I told you to stay in town!
You could've USED me, Rachel thought angrily. Everyone else groaned, and from their thoughts, I pieced together memories of a fight they'd had while I'd been asleep with Bella. Apparently, she hadn't been okay with staying behind. Even as a rear guard.
You're inexperienced.
And you're Mister Wisdom? How long have you been doing this, a year?
It's experience you don't have.
Because you won't let me have it. And you won't let me go back to school.
Lay off, Jared thought, tired. We all got this when we first started.
You can't go back to school because you'll have nowhere to change, Sam thought. You'll give us all up.
Is that it? Or are you jealous because I can leave and you can't?
You can't leave.
Watch me.
With that, she disappeared from our heads. Even though she was right in front of us. The entire pack skidded to a stop, and Rachel kept running.
Rachel! Sam bellowed loudly. What did you do?
I waited for an answer, but although she rounded and bared her teeth, Rachel didn't speak in our heads. Still, Sam had heard something - I hadn't been paying enough attention to get it from his thoughts - so he kept communicating with her.
You want to challenge me? he snarled. I was a good hundred feet away, but his actual growl rumbled the ground. I circled in closer and saw Rachel backing off, her head tilted in confusion. I listened to Sam for her reply.
But Rachel didn't say anything else. Instead, she turned tail and ran the opposite direction.
On impulse, I broke ranks and followed.
Leah! Sam thought. Where are you going?
I wanna see something. Hang on.
I ran to Rachel, exhilaration pulsing through my veins. Could this be it? Finally?
Wait! I called out. I wasn't sure she could hear me, but I didn't know what else to do. If I changed to human, she might not stop. Rachel!
Leah? she thought, surprised.
Rachel was the only voice in my head. It worked. My tail wagged so hard, I could've been a dog.
You broke from the pack! I said as Rachel stopped. And I broke with you!
Wait. What?
It totally makes sense, I thought. You're a Black. Goddamn, this is awesome!
Rachel's ears drooped. Sam nearly killed me back there.
It's okay, I thought. We've got some distance now. We'll hear if they're coming.
No, you don't get it. He wanted to fight, and...my body wanted to fight too.
Huh. Must be some kind of alpha thing. I froze as my train of thought continued. Oh no.
Oh what?
If you guys wanted to fight each other...
Yeah?
It's not gonna be safe in La Push. For either of you. If I'd been human, I would've winced. Or me.
Crap, Rachel thought.
No kidding. Let's move!
I started running, and Rachel pushed to keep up with me. Branches cracked a few dozen feet behind me. I jolted, and as I swung left to get some space, Rachel moved to avoid me.
What? she thought.
I heard something. Go faster!
Wait! This was a new voice, but familiar. Slow down, you guys are faster than me!
SETH? I thought, skidding to a stop. What the hell are you doing?
He crossed over the landing, tongue hanging out of his mouth. Coming with you guys. What do you think?
No, you're not, I thought. You're going back. Mom'll kill us.
We can't go into La Push right now, Rachel thought. Well, I can't, and Leah's old enough to make up her own mind. You're--
Just a kid? Like you're inexperienced, Rachel? He snorted.
Why did you leave? she asked.
Seth gave the equivalent of a mental shrug. Dunno. It felt right, you know? The pack's too big, and I didn't wanna stay without you, Leah.
As much as I hated to admit it, Seth's admission made me all warm and fuzzy. He was a sweet guy, when he wasn't an annoying brat.
Even though you can hear all my thoughts? I asked.
It's not that bad, Leah.
But Seth, Rachel thought, you're underage. So go home, or...
Or? You'll order me?
No, Rachel sighed, and for a second, she sounded exactly like Jacob. Who, I was pleased to realize, wasn't attached to us mentally anymore. Freaking sweet.
Howls sounded from the other side of the ridge, and they didn't sound particularly happy. Rachel started running again.
Right toward the Cullen border.
Rachel, wait! I thought, panicked. I chased after her. We can't go back on the Cullens' land now! We don't know--
Where are we supposed to go? she thought. The others need to cool down, and we don't have anywhere to go.
Rachel crossed the line. I blinked, and right away, two vampires snarled right in front of us. Jasper and Emmett, if I remembered right. I skidded to a stop and whined, and Rachel stopped at my warning right before she would've rammed into their legs. She backed up fast.
"What," Jasper said, cold and quiet, "are you doing here?"
Someone had to change to answer, and Rachel and Seth didn't seem inclined to answer. I shifted and grabbed my clothes as fast as I could. This would be a good chance to jump me, but there was no way in hell I'd be naked in front of them.
"We're having some pack trouble," I said, pulling on sweatpants, "and Rachel didn't know the border. We'll leave."
"Not until you give her back," Jasper snarled.
"Give who back?"
"Don't screw with us," Emmett said. "We followed her trail."
My brain put two and two together. "Bella's gone?"
Another couple vampires appeared in a blur. We were outnumbered. Great.
"Wolves. Of course." Alice put her hands on her hips. "What's going on?"
"Hello, Leah," Esme said. Her face was as soft as a vampire's could be. "Can we search the La Push area?"
I frowned. "Why?"
"I can't see where Bella went." Alice frowned. "I know she drove in this direction because I can smell her truck, but she still isn't in my vision. Which either means she's dead, or she's in La Push."
At the word "dead", I flinched. "She's alive."
"How do you know?" Emmett said, but not with malice. A little challenging, but he struck me as the kind of guy who enjoyed fighting. "You have a special Bella beacon we don't know about?"
"Sort of."
Alice's eyes narrowed, but she let it drop. "Well? Either someone needs to check La Push, or we need to go."
"You should stay," I said. "It wouldn't be safe for you guys normally, but now..."
"What?"
I winced and glanced at Rachel. She was our new alpha; she should be handling this. But she shook her head, and I sighed.
"We split," I said. "This is our new pack. Sam might be our enemy now."
The vampires stilled.
"What?" Esme said. "Did you have a disagreement?"
"Yeah." No one spoke, and I realized what they want to know: if they were in for a fight. "It's not really dangerous to anyone outside the pack. It's just drama."
"Great," Jasper said, scowling. "Just what we need."
"It'll be fine," Esme said, pulling out a cell phone. "I need to talk to Carlisle, and we'll make a new plan."
I frowned. "You waited for us?"
"We smelled you," Emmett said. "We came up with it last minute."
I noticed my hands shook. I clenched them over my chest and tried to ignore how terrible I felt.
"Okay," I said. "What if we searched for Bella?"
Esme's brow furrowed. "We don't want to get in the way."
"We don't have time," Alice said, in a quiet voice. Someone not supernatural might not have been able to hear her. But I did, and I didn't miss the look Jasper shot her after I said it.
"You don't?" I asked. "Why?"
"It's none of your business," Jasper said sharply.
But Esme was eying me, and I had the feeling she noticed my stressed appearance. It wasn't hard to pick up on. "The Volturi are threatening to attack."
I frowned. "Why? The newborns are gone."
"Bella and I went to Italy to save Edward a little while back," Alice said with a sigh. "We attracted the Volturi, and they said we had to turn her or kill her. They're antsy about her continued humanity."
It was my turn to gape. "Wait, you have to find her...to turn her?"
"It's not--" Esme began.
I was shaking again, but more from the urge to change. And man, did it take every ounce of discipline to keep from doing it. "You're forcing her?"
"No, no!" Esme said. "But if the Volturi come back, and they don't find her..."
"And if they think she crossed into La Push, and they come across the wolves?" Alice added.
"They don't like shifters," Jasper said. "At all."
My mind spun. I didn't know much about vampire politics, but a human in the know in enemy territory sounded like an act of war to me.
Behind me, Seth whined. I didn't turn to him or Rachel. Complications or not, this was clear-cut.
"All right," I said. "We'll go, and we'll bring her to your house if we find her."
"I can give you my number," Esme said, holding up her cell. "You don't need to come to us."
I gave a tight smile. "I don't exactly have access to a phone."
"It's not safe," Alice said. "If the Volturi came back, and found you..."
"We can't exactly go to Bella's, either," I said. "It's a risk, no matter where we meet up. Even if we send Bella back in her truck alone. We can handle it if you can."
Everyone exchanged looks. Finally, Emmett and Jasper nodded and disappeared. Alice smiled. "Thanks for your help."
"Least I could do," I said as casually as I could manage.
"If you need help," Esme said, frowning, "I don't want you to be homeless."
Great, vampire charity. "We'll figure it out later."
Esme and Alice ran off. I shed my clothes and shifted again.
As if this didn't suck enough already, Rachel thought.
You said it.
Of course, the only one bright and eager was none other than my little brother, who practically bounced with excitement. Let's do this!
-
It took some time to find a crossing point. The original pack outnumbered us by a lot, and they covered most of the boundary. They also howled and snarled and called for our attention. Which pissed me off more and more as time passed.
But after nearly a half-hour of dancing around, Rachel hit on the solution.
Let's give ‘em what they want, she thought. I talk to Sam. Seth comes with me. You sneak in, and if they ask, we say you're watching our backs.
It was a good plan. And I really did want to be alone, so I had no objections to the lack of backup. If you're sure.
Yeah, totally. We shouldn't be fighting with a big threat anyway.
Only one thought gave me pause. You won't try to reintegrate, will you?
Rachel snorted. Hardly. Sam's not the guy I want to work under, you know?
More than you know.
Seth nudged me with his nose. Good luck, Leah. Don't get your throat torn out.
I think you have to worry more about me tearing out someone's throat, I thought. But yeah. Don't get killed either.
They ran off, and I listened to both packs' movements and waited.
Doubt started to creep in. Where would Bella be? Not the Blacks' house; Jacob was still off in Montana or Canada or wherever he'd decided to linger this time, and Bella hadn't seen Rachel in years, from what I knew. Beyond Jake, she didn't have reason to go elsewhere in La Push. So where?
Rachel? It was Sam's voice, in Rachel's head. There was my opportunity.
I crossed the boundary line and ran full-tilt for the town. I was downwind from the pack, and they couldn't hear me. It'd have to be good enough. I'd have to hope--
Before I could even finish the thought, a wolf came running by; Brady, by the looks of things. I stopped and crouched in bushes. I hoped he didn't pick up my scent, but he didn't entirely seem as if he was searching for it. He slumped along toward La Push at a slow rate.
Seth followed my train of thought. Sam probably sent him back. Wait 'til he's out of sight, then make a run for it.
But we're going the same place.
Give him space. He'll never notice.
I hoped he was right. But Brady wasn't the type to pick fights anyway, and I'd win if he did.
He disappeared behind the trees, and I circled around him and into the city limits.
La Push was quiet. Not even troublemakers took advantage of Sam's absence, from what I could hear. Where could Bella be?
I stopped near my house and stared toward the ocean; I was close enough to hear the lapping water, even if we didn't have beachfront property. The sound triggered a memory of one of Jacob's memories. He and Bella always hung out on one particular stretch of beach by the Black house. But it couldn't be that obvious, could it?
Rachel laughed in my head. I bet it's exactly that obvious. Jake's not a subtle guy.
I smirked mentally, and made for the beach.
Sure enough, as I closed in on a piece of driftwood several hundred feet from the Black house, the burning smell of vampire made it to my nose. As I focused, I could see a bulky figure sitting on the wood. Bella wore several thick layers; apparently, she'd stolen clothes from the Cullens. She'd thought ahead.
I was quiet, but apparently, not quiet enough. Bella stiffened and called, "Who's there?"
Before I answered, I shifted and pulled on my clothes. My feet were moist from the forest, and I was tracking sand into my jeans, which I hated. But it was not the time to be naked. "Leah Clearwater."
Bella turned as I put my shirt in place. "Leah. What are you doing here?"
"Long story," I said, walking toward her. "The Cullens are looking for you."
"They are." It was flat, distant.
I didn't know what to do. I was out of my depth, and really, it'd be best to give the Cullens' message and get back to protecting my own hide. But my body ached for her in a way I hadn't quite ached before, not even with Sam, and I wanted to make it stop. I had to try something.
"Mind if I sit?" I asked.
She nodded, and shifted to allow me room. I sat, and stared out at the water, nearly black in the post-sunset gloom.
"I came to see Jake," she said in a quiet voice. "I forgot."
"Yeah. Sorry about that."
"Why are you sorry?"
"He acted because he saw me as a threat."
"Are you a threat?"
I snorted. "Depends. You think leaving you alone is a threat?"
Bella was quiet for a moment, and she said, "Being alone...it's hard."
I wanted to apologize again. But it wasn't my fault Edward was dead. It wasn't anyone's fault but Victoria's, and possibly Edward's decision to charge into a fight. Or was I absolving myself because I was glad Edward was out of the way?
Whatever. Selfish or not, my thoughts didn't really matter here. "So what are you going to do?"
Bella stared at me intently. I didn't return her look; I wouldn't be able to curb my own intensity if I did. "You won't drag me back?"
"I don't know," I said. "I should. If the Volturi find you here, they could kill everyone."
"So why don't you?" Her voice was anguished.
"Because I figure, something life-changing like being a lee--" I stopped myself. "Vampire? You should choose, if you can."
"But I can't choose. They're forcing it on me."
"They?" Was she pissed at the Cullens? I'd love a chance at them.
"The Volturi."
Darn. "So the Cullens aren't pressuring you?"
Bella let out a shuddering breath. "I wish they would. I owe them so much."
"You don't owe them anything," I said, and I was surprised at the heat in my voice. "They exposed you to this. You'll be doing them a big favor, and not the other way around."
Bella didn't answer for a minute, and my skin heated with embarrassment. Maybe I'd overstepped.
"I'm going to do it," Bella said. "Even without Edward, I have to."
"What? Why?"
"Because I won't expose everyone to the Volturi. Not my dad, and not you guys."
It made sense. And I'd known what she was going to say, but still, I pictured her pale and statue-like and smelling of predator and death, and I wanted to...I don't know. Not get mad, because of the imprinting. But not be happy.
"This isn't exactly a safe spot," I said. "It might do some good to do your thinking somewhere else."
"Are you kicking me out?"
I laughed wryly. "I don't have the authority. Especially now. I have to leave myself."
Bella sniffled, and thanks to the rising moon, I could see her brush tears off her cheeks. "You do?"
I nodded. "Pack crap. We don't wait for the vampire crap to end."
"It isn't...I didn't..."
"No, no. Completely unrelated."
Bella stood and brushed off her clothes. She took two steps, and stopped. "Leah?"
I stood so fast, blood rushed to my head. "Yeah?"
"Will you...come with me?"
The head rush was replaced by elation so strong, I tingled from head to toe. "Where?"
"To the Cullens."
Bye-bye elation. "I wish I could."
She looked at me over her shoulder. A breeze blew locks of hair around her face, and the moonlight made her tear-filled eyes shine. She could've said anything, and I would've done it.
But she didn't say just anything. "I don't want to be alone for my last night."
"You're..." The words stuck in my throat. "Tomorrow?"
"Why wait?"
A million reasons popped into my head. To say goodbye to Charlie, her mom, and her human friends. To eat something tasty for the last time. To enjoy a sunny day. Something. But I opened my mouth and nothing came out.
"It all seems different now," Bella said. "Like I'm actually giving something up. It never felt that way with Edward."
She bit her lip and stared at the ground. With a shake of her head and a hard swallow, she started walking up toward the road, where her truck was parked.
"This is epically stupid," I muttered. "Clean break. Say goodbye and leave her with the leeches."
But to leave Bella alone was worse than putting up with vampires. And as much as I hated it, I'd have plenty of time to be alone after today.
I jogged after her.
-
"Thank goodness!" Alice danced up to the truck in her delicate way. Even with a vaguely subdued manner, which I guessed was because of Edward's death, she was brighter than she'd been in the woods. It didn't stop her from throwing me a flat look. "We thought something happened."
Bella slumped out of the truck, and I followed suit. I did my best not to wince at Alice's smell.
"Sorry," Bella said, "I needed time to myself."
"You should eat something. I always forget how much you need to eat, and I can't remember the last time you did."
Bella stiffened. I couldn't imagine why. "I'm fine. I'll be drinking blood in a couple days anyway."
Alice raised an eyebrow. "I guess you're hanging around?"
"She asked," I said, "but if it's a problem..."
Esme and Carlisle came out of the house together, holding hands. Gag me.
"It's not a problem," Esme said, smiling. "I'm so glad you found her."
I shrugged. "She came because she wanted to. I had nothing to do with it."
"I want to go to bed," Bella said.
Carlisle nodded. "Of course. I have everything ready when you are."
Bella went in the house, and I stayed at her side, not saying a word. I wanted to talk - I could have used a little distraction from the awful stench - but the sight of Bella in the light killed the urge. I could see her puffy red eyes, her distant stare, the lack of color in her skin. She seemed half-dead already. I couldn't help but think she'd seem more resilient as a vampire.
God. What a thought.
We went upstairs and into a room with a canopy bed. Bella stopped in the doorway and regarded it with watery eyes.
I slid around her and ran my hands over the dark purple comforter. The rest of the house was had a grossly pale color scheme, so I liked the change. "Huh. Soft."
"Yeah," Bella said. "It's pretty nice."
She closed the door and climbed into the bed. She didn't bother to take off her shoes, and I could see mud smeared on the sheets before she pulled the comforter back up. But hey, the Cullens could get the bed specially cleaned. Or replace it altogether. It made my lip curl a little. I had only one set of clothes, and I hadn't washed them in days.
Oh well. At least I didn't have to suck down blood cots to live.
I sat on the comforter next to Bella. "What do you want me to do?" I asked quietly.
"I don't know," Bella said, biting her lip. "You mind sharing a bed?"
I sniffed experimentally. There was a bit of a Cullen stink, but nothing too bad. Apparently, none of the leeches used the bed.
"Nah," I said. "But if the room across the hall was a bathroom, I should clean up."
"Okay."
"Will you be okay by..." Oops. Probably shouldn't remind her she was solo. "Um, here?"
"Yeah."
I went to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. I won't lie; the shower was so great, it felt positively sinful. I had to put on my dirty clothes again - no way I'd wear the smelly crap the Cullens had lying around - and I couldn't use a towel, but I dripped back into the bedroom and climbed into the bed once I was done.
Bella wasn't asleep. I'd kind of hoped she would be, but she stared at me with lifeless brown eyes as I settled in.
"I'll give them this much," I said. "The Cullens know showers. And beds."
"Yeah, they do."
She sidled up next to me, and her skin was even chillier with the snug sheets and the leftover heat from the shower. Without thinking, I slung an arm around her shoulders. Just as I realized what I'd done, and before I could pull back, she drew in closer.
It was a bad idea. I knew it. There was BS about the imprinting being flexible, about being whatever the person needed, but there was nothing flexible about the happiness and calm settling over me. There was also no way I could move away, since Bella was the one who'd acted. Edward wasn't lurking in the corner anymore.
She wants me here, I thought. It can't be what I want it to be.
"I don't know if I want to sleep," she murmured into my arm. "If I dream...if I have nightmares…"
"I'll be here," I whispered.
She continued as if I wasn't there. "But this is the last time I'll be able to sleep. And if I dream of him, I can't let it go."
Maybe Edward was lurking after all.
"What would you do?" she asked.
I couldn't tell her I wouldn't do any of this. It wouldn't help. "Try to sleep."
Bella adjusted the comforter so it was up closer to her chin. I warmed up the bed quite a bit, but she shivered and drew closer.
"Warm enough?" I asked.
"Yeah."
Bella laid a kiss on my arm, and my skin tingled. I kissed her on top of the head.
Whatever the night was, and whatever I thought I wanted, I knew there wasn't anything more perfect than lying with Bella next to me. Accepting it was apparently what I'd needed because I relaxed, and all the stress of the last few days left my body.
I fell asleep.
-
My dream was filled with golden light. I ran, wolf and woman in one. One moment, my feet had pads; the next, I felt dirt and leaves against my skin. Once I reached the shore at La Push - it was the stretch near Jacob's house, but minus the buildings I was used to - I was fully human, and wearing silky pants and a thin tank top.
Bella stood on the beach. She was the same as always, but with red eyes and a slight sparkle to her skin.
"I love you," she said.
I closed the distance between us, and we kissed. She was warm and soft under my hands, as if we were both human. I could feel fangs in her mouth, and I pulled back, confused. She wasn't Dracula, and sparkle monsters don't have fangs. Bella pulled away from my touch.
"Don't leave me," I said. My heart sped in my chest.
The sea grew completely still behind Bella, and she smiled. Her face was right in front of me, but she seemed a million miles away.
"I love you," she said, as if she was yelling from a great distance.
We tumbled to the ground - which was covered in grass now - and we kissed with more urgency. My blood heated as we pressed together, and as Bella moved her mouth to my throat, I cried out from the pain in my chest.
"It hurts," I gasped.
"Wait," she said. "It'll get better."
The pain grew until I couldn't stand it anymore.
And I woke up, panting.
It was daylight, and I was bathed in sunlight. I could see treetops and blue skies straight ahead, broken up slightly by the occasional cloud.
When did I get outside?
My nostrils flared, and I grimaced as vampire smell sluiced forward. The room around me focused. I hadn't noticed, with my preoccupations the night before, but the bedroom had a wall of bare windows, letting in the outside scene.
I pressed a hand to my chest and breathed as well as I could. It was hard; my lungs felt like they'd shrunk. Or as if something squeezed them. But the more I breathed, the more I relaxed.
Until I let my hand drop, and my hand touched sheet instead of skin.
"Bella?" I said, confused.
"She's downstairs."
Rosalie stood the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. Her face was blank.
"Oh," I said, and I touched my chest again. "She started."
Rosalie nodded once. "She wanted someone to tell you."
"How...how is she?"
"As well as anyone can be, I guess."
My hearing extended for a moment, and I could hear others walking around in the house. But I pulled back as quickly as I could. If Bella was suffering in any way, I couldn't hear it.
"I guess I'll get going," I said, pushing out of the bed. "I should see how the pack is."
Rosalie held up her hands as if she didn't give a crap. She probably didn't. "Esme said you can come back at any time."
"How did you get to be the messenger?"
"Everyone else is either keeping an eye on Bella, or hunting. I hunted yesterday."
Ask a stupid question. "Thanks."
She nodded and left.
The pain in my chest spread to my arms, to my stomach, and on, until I was hunched over. Sam had said I would be in pain. Was this some imprinting thing? Or was the thought of Bella dying finally catching up with me? My body felt there was only one person for me, and I was starting to realize nothing could change that reaction. I'd pine for Bella like I pined for Sam, only there was no chance of moving on.
It was the end.
"No," I whispered.
I shoved the sheets away from me. They clung to my feet, and I kicked them away. I flung myself out of bed, and I breathed hard. My eyes fell on the imprint Bella had left in the sheet, and I shook my head, grit my teeth, and forced back the tightness in my throat and the stinging in my eyes.
No. This was no end. I wouldn't let it be.
I ran down the stairs and out the front door as quickly as I could, which was fast, if not quite as fast in human form. I wanted to make the tree line before I did anything else, but I'd go for a good run as a wolf, and I'd figure things out. It'd be okay.
But before I made it out of the Cullens' driveway, I stumbled over a body.
He stared off into space like he was zoned out in class. He seemed young enough to be in high school. But his skin was blue, and he had a savage-looking bite mark on his neck. It didn't stop me from pressing fingers to his throat, but he was dead.
A note was affixed to his shirt. Carlisle's name was scrawled across the top in a fancy cursive, so it wasn't for me, but I was far past polite at this point. I pushed the paper open with shaking hands.
We're coming, the inside read, in the same handwriting.
"Fuck," I said.
( part one | master post | part three)